End of Watch

Frank caught the Virgin's sorrowful gaze. She closed her eyes and a tear slipped down her cheek. Mary was silent. Frank wiped the tear away, clearing her throat. 'I hate how much I still miss him. Being here, at his grave ... I didn't think after all this time it would be so hard. I didn't think I still cared so much.'

'Oh, Frank, honey, of course you care. You have a huge heart. And this is a huge wound that you've never let heal. It scares me that you're doing this so soon in sobriety but I gotta tell you, kiddo, I think you can do it. I think you're ready to open up this scab and air it out, to really let it heal this time instead of just putting a Scotch Band- Aid over it and pretending it's gonna go away. It hurts to scrub out a wound, but that's how to heal it.'

Frank had no reply. She'd just have to take it on faith.

'It's gonna be all right, kiddo. You're gonna get through this and you're going to be stronger for having done it. You go ahead and have a good cry. I'd say you're due.'

Frank wiped her nose with the back of her hand. 'You think?'

'I certainly do. I just wish I could be there with you.'

'You absolutely are, Mary. You're here with me right now. Thanks for letting me blow.'

'That's what I'm here for, honey. And I'm so happy you called me. You been to a meeting today?'

'No. I'll go tonight.'

'Good. You need to stick close right now. It'd be too easy to hide out and crawl into a bottle for a little relief.'

'Yeah, I thought about that. The cop I'm working with offered to let me stay at her place and I turned her down. Then I thought it probably wasn't such a good idea to be hanging out alone in a hotel room listening to the bar down below, so I took her up on it.'

'Good girl! Where's she live?'

'Got a loft in Tribeca. It's nice. She's a nice lady.'

'Well, good for you. I feel better you're with someone. And you know, this will end, Frank. One way or another you'll get through to the other side. Pain doesn't last forever.'

'That's what I hear.' Frank wasn't sure she believed it, but this too she was willing to give the benefit of the doubt. 'Thanks for listening, Mary. You're an angel.'

'Oh, honey, I'm just so glad I can be here for you.'

'You are. Christ!' Frank slapped her forehead. 'I'm so busy thinking about myself I completely forgot to ask how your grandson's surgery went.'

'Oh, it went fine. They pinned his ankle and he'll be playing second base as good as new. Thanks for asking.'

After she said good-bye Frank was left staring at the Virgin.

'You know what?' she told the statue. 'I'm hungry.'

CHAPTER 20

Annie came home, dropping to her knees in front of the Madonna. She crossed herself and mumbled for a minute. Standing, she saw Frank leaning against the kitchen wall, watching her.

'What? You never seen anybody pray before?'

'What do you pray for?'

'In the mornin' when I leave I pray for a safe day and at night when I come home I give thanks that I made it back in one piece.'

'You Catholic?'

'No, I'm Jewish. Whaddaya think? Course I'm Cat'lic.'

'Hey, for all I know, you could be. I never studied world religions, okay?'

Annie smirked, slipping out of her coat. 'My mother wouldn't say I'm Catholic. She walks in here, she gives the Virgin a wide berth. She thinks it's idolatrous.'

'Is it?'

'How should I know? I'm a cop, not a priest. It's Mary. How idolatrous can it be?'

'I took the liberty of making some spaghetti. You hungry?'

'Am I hungry? I could eat the sofa. You're a doll.'

'I'll get it for you.'

While Annie changed clothes Frank broiled garlic bread and tossed a salad. Dinner was waiting on the kitchen table when Annie returned.

'You cook and clean up after yourself,' she marveled. 'A miracle.'

'And your loose change is still around.'

Annie laughed, producing two glasses and a bottle of red wine. Frank watched her put the glasses on the table and pull the cork. It made a familiar pop and as Annie tipped the bottle Frank laid a hand over her glass.

'No, thanks.'

'You don't drink?'

Frank shook her head, admiring the carnelian stream Annie poured into the other glass.

'Only three reasons cops don't drink. They're health nuts, they've found Jesus or they're drunks. Which are you?'

'You're the detective. You figure it out.'

Annie grinned, corking the bottle. The wine's scent tickled every cell in Frank's body. Each one leaned toward Annie's glass like eavesdroppers in the old E.F. Hutton commercials.

'All right, Miss Hotshot LAPD lieutenant. You can't be a vegan else you wouldn't a made spaghetti sauce with meat, and it tastes like real butter on this bread. Plus, I saw the dressing came out of a bottle. Too many chemicals for a health nut. So I don't think it's that. Still, it's a better shot than the Jesus freak. A Jesus freak wouldn't a asked if praying to Mary was idolatrous. And I've heard what comes outta your mouth. No Jesus freak talks like that.'

Frank grinned.

Wiping spaghetti off her chin, Annie went on. 'And the way your hand shot out over that wineglass makes me think you don't even want to be tempted to drink. How'm I doin'?'

'I think you should get promoted.'

'How long you been sober?' Annie asked around a mouthful.

'Couple months.'

Annie lifted an eyebrow toward her glass. 'This bother you?'

'No,' Frank lied. As the silence unfolded she added, 'I appreciate your letting me stay here. You're right. It's a lot nicer than a hotel.'

'Heck, I'm the one who's glad. This is delicious.'

'Glad you like it.'

'Who's the lucky person you cook for at home?'

'No lucky person right now.'

Annie nodded. 'It's hard to keep 'em around. Men expect you to be secondary to their careers, but turn the tables and their egos can't handle it.'

Deciding to extend the candor, Frank admitted, 'I get around that by dating women. Been lucky so far. Been with cops and an M.E. They know what the job demands so they aren't pissed off— well, too pissed off—when they don't see you for days on end.'

'Smart.' Annie tapped her temple with a fingertip. 'Why didn't I think a that?'

' 'Cause your mother would've really had a fit.'

Annie laughed, choking on her spaghetti. Washing it down with wine she sputtered, 'Oh, God forbid! Bad enough I'm a cop, huh, but a lesbian? She'd come unglued. She would just come unglued. God bless her, she'd starve to death, she'd be so busy lighting candles for me. I guess you didn't have to deal with that, huh?'

'Nope. Advantages to dead parents. They'd have probably been all right with it. My mom for sure, and probably my dad, too. They were pretty laid back.'

Frank asked if Annie had caught any more bad guys and she answered, 'Thought I'd take a break. But I gotta say, you're my good luck charm. You show up on Sunday and by Tuesday I got three collars. I ain't lettin' you go home.'

'I've seen how you work. You make your own luck.'