betrothal a real one. Her instinct was to do the reverse, and escape him as quickly as possible.
‘Please do not worry,’ he said soothingly, taking her hand in his. ‘Ross understands. Before I left, he suggested that you visit Olivia this afternoon to discuss the matter with her. Then we may announce our betrothal formally tonight at Lady Benedict’s ball.’
He felt Deborah’s hand tremble in his. She tried to withdraw it, but he held on to her, rubbing his fingers gently over the back of her hand. Her head was bent, a tiny frown wrinkling the skin between her brows. She looked very young.
‘I had not anticipated that we would make a public announcement,’ she said. ‘Surely that is not necessary? This was to be for my family’s benefit only.’
Richard nodded. ‘I understand that, but consider for a moment the questions that might arise if your parents were to have an acquaintance in this neighbourhood.’
Deb’s frown deepened. ‘I am sure that they do not.’
‘You cannot know for certain,’ Richard pointed out. ‘It is better not to take the risk. If everyone hereabouts is aware of our engagement, then there is no difficulty.’
He sensed that he was pushing too hard. A flame of resistance burned in Deb’s eyes. ‘I am sure that there is no such necessity,’ she said. ‘I would prefer to keep the matter secret.’
Richard let go of her hand and sat back in his chair, feigning unconcern. ‘If you wish. I should tell you though, Deborah, that one of the first things that I learned when I was involved in counter-espionage work was to prepare the ground carefully. If you do not, something is bound to go wrong.’
He saw that the frown was back in her eyes. ‘I suppose so. Yes, I can see that there is always the possibility of something going awry.’
It was a minor victory and Richard followed it up at once. ‘That being the case, I believe we should spend a great deal of time together over the next few weeks,’ he said. ‘We need to make it apparent to everyone that we are comfortable in each other’s company. No one will believe our betrothal otherwise.’
Deb’s brow was still puckered. ‘You have decided a great many things,’ she said.
Richard smiled impudently. ‘Did you expect me not to do so?’ he asked.
‘Oh, no,’ Deb said, ‘I expected it. It was just…not as I had planned.’
‘And you will spend time with me?’ Richard pressed. ‘I thought that we could go riding tomorrow afternoon.’
He saw by the flicker in her blue eyes that the idea held appeal.
‘I own that it will be pleasant to ride with someone who is so good at it,’ she said, with a small smile.
‘Good,’ Richard said. He kissed her hand. ‘Unfortunately I am engaged for the rest of the day or I would certainly ask you to spend it with me. I will see you this evening at Lady Benedict’s ball?’
Deb nodded. He had seen from the slight droop to her shoulders that she was disappointed they would not be spending the day together. The knowledge encouraged him. Although she had been initially resistant to his plans, he could feel her softening with each step. He allowed himself to be cautiously optimistic that with time and careful wooing he might persuade her to his point of view and gain her agreement to their marriage. He drew her a little closer and after an initial hesitation, she came. Richard scanned her face, noting the shadow that was still reflected in Deb’s pansy-blue eyes.
‘Are you in agreement that we announce our betrothal tonight?’ he asked softly.
Her lashes swept her cheek for a moment as she looked away. Richard fought a strong urge to kiss her. Repressing his most fundamental urges, he tried to concentrate. He knew that he could override her resistance, knew that she would respond to him, for she had been scrupulously honest about her attraction to him. That was not the way to succeed, however, for whilst he might gain a response from her body, emotionally she would slip further away from him. He took a deep breath and kept his eyes locked on hers and in a moment she looked up at him again.
‘I…yes, I am in agreement,’ she said.
Richard gave a silent sigh of relief. ‘Thank you. I am honoured.’
A shy smile lit her eyes. The urge to kiss her became stronger, so powerful that Richard had to take a step back.
‘I shall see you this evening,’ he said. ‘You have no idea how I look forward to it.’
He saw Deb take a breath as though she were about to speak. Richard frowned. He could sense some tension in her, some unresolved problem.
‘Is there something else that you wished to discuss?’ he asked.
Deb moved away from him and picked up her teacup. It rattled in her hands. Her face was averted from him, pink and feverish.
‘There is something that I wish to say but I find-’ she glanced at him, a fleeting look from those lavender blue eyes ‘-it is a little difficult…’
Richard took the teacup from her-she had not drunk any of it anyway-and placed it gently on the table before leading her back to the sofa and taking both her hands in his. Deb’s blue eyes were huge and apprehensive now and he leaned closer.
‘You are trembling,’ he said gently, ‘and you look terrified.’
‘That is because…’ she licked her lips nervously ‘…there is something I need to say to you and I am not accustomed to being in such close proximity to a gentleman.’
Ridiculous pleasure coursed through Richard at her words. He did not seem able to help himself. But the nervousness in her eyes puzzled him. He wanted to draw her into his arms and comfort her. He wanted to kiss her. Richard tried to concentrate.
‘Deborah,’ he said, ‘if you are wanting to change your mind because you still do not trust me, then I must remind you that I promised to do nothing that you did not desire and I will keep to that.’ His voice came out more roughly than he had intended and her gaze flew to his. Had she realised the difficulty he was having controlling his impulses? If she even guessed at the iron control he was exercising, then she would probably be so nervous she would not come near him again. He moderated his tone. ‘You have not reacted to my presence like this before,’ he said. ‘What is the matter?’
Her gaze touched his face and skittered away. ‘You do not understand,’ she said.
‘Then tell me,’ Richard said bluntly. ‘What is it?’
He was still touching her and now she looked down at their joined hands and swiftly away. There was high colour in her cheeks.
‘I have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you,’ she said. ‘When I said that I wished to change the terms of our betrothal you misunderstood me-’
She broke off.
‘Yes?’ Richard said.
Her gaze met his with all the straightness of a sword thrust.
‘I want you to make love to me,’ she said. ‘For the duration of our betrothal, I want you to be my lover.’
As soon as the words were out Deb was ready to sink with mortification, but she also felt a huge relief. She could scarce believe what she had just done. She had spent the entire night plagued with erotic thoughts and dreams until in the pale morning light she had finally admitted that matters could not carry on as they were. She wanted Richard Kestrel desperately. She wanted to give herself to him and experience the sensual bliss of physical love with him. She had starved herself of love and desire for so long that she was burning up. And if that made her a wanton who gave herself up to a man without the blessings of the church, then so be it. She had gone far beyond modesty and moral principle. She could not help herself.
Nevertheless, she was terrified. She knew that all the pretty phrases she had devised beforehand had deserted her and she had ended up speaking baldly and without finesse. It was no wonder that Richard was looking so stunned.
‘No.’
He got to his feet abruptly, dropping her hands in her lap. He thrust his fingers through his hair violently, then strode over to the window, where he turned and looked at her with incredulous eyes.
Deb drew on all her courage.
‘Do you mean no you will not do it?’ She asked.
