Daredevil’s Run

she, hovering over him, begging him not to die.

He had a sudden bright flash of empathy, or insight, and it struck him that of all things Alex hated most, to be afraid must top the list. Was that why she hadn’t fought for him, argued with him when he’d told her he didn’t want her in his life? Was that why she couldn’t let herself love him? Because to love someone is to know the worst kind of fear?

He looked at her and smiled, his heart sore with wanting to take her hand and tell her it was okay, and not to be afraid. Or, not to be afraid of being afraid, because that was part of being alive, after all. Take my hand, Alex, dance the river with me, like the song says.

He wanted to tell her that, and maybe he’d have a chance to, someday. But right now, there were the last of the rapids yet to run. Carson Falls.

So he nodded at her to tell her he was ready, and picked up his paddle. She nodded back but didn’t smile, and he saw her fingers flex on the handles of her oars. “Okay, let’s do this!” he yelled.

As he twisted to face front again, he felt the river surge under him, felt it in his chest and in his arms, and even in the part of him that no longer had feeling. The river’s music swelled louder, louder, and the banks rushed by in a blur. High on her seat in the back of the boat, he knew Alex was focused on the water ahead, working her oars, calling orders to him and to Sam. He wished he could just stop for a moment and watch her. In his mind’s eye he could see her-cheeks flushed and braid flying, her eyes fierce as a warrior’s, riding headlong into battle, her hard- muscled little body taut as a bow. God, how he loved her.

He wanted to shout it.

Yeah, I love her! Always have…always will. How did I think I could turn my back on that? I love her. Why didn’t I have the guts to fight for it? For us?

As the boat plunged over the falls, he gave a whoop that was part joy, part adrenaline, and maybe there was some sort of promise in there, too. I’m not giving up on us. Hell no. I’m comin’ for you, Alex Penny!

Then they were chest-deep in snowmelt surf and the hydraulics of the river took over, tossed them back toward the sky as if they were no more than leaves, twigs, bits of flotsam. Matt hung on to the tube with one elbow and thrust his paddle high in the air, riding the water like a rodeo cowboy on a bucking bull. He heard yells and whoops from the others in the boat and his heart soared as he recognized one of the voices as Alex’s.

Helluva ride, huh, Alex? One helluva dance…

And just like that, it was over. The river flowed along as if the turbulence had never happened, chuckling to itself as if enjoying a secret joke at their expense. Everyone in the boat was drenched and laughing, slapping high fives-even Cory, with his good arm. And Alex tumbled headlong off her perch and dove straight into Matt’s arms.

It was feeling that drove her. Sheer overabundance of feeling she didn’t know what else to do with. If she’d thought about it, she probably wouldn’t have done it, but at the time it seemed the only possible thing to do. And then his arms came around her-hard around her-and his hands framed her face and wiped the water away, and she did the same to him, both of them laughing and shaking the way they used to after mind-blowing sex. The laughter grew faint and fitful, and she felt his hand grip the back of her head, his fingers push into the loose wet mass of her hair. He looked into her eyes for an instant, then brought her face to his and kissed her.

She gasped a breath and found he’d become a part of it. Her fingers curled in the shoulders of his life vest as she opened her mouth and drank him in. She forgot her anger and humiliation as completely as the river forgets its rapids once past them. His mouth meshed with hers, his body solid beneath her hands-they felt so familiar to her, had been so achingly missed for so long. She felt like an exile finally allowed to come home.

And it was over too quickly. He released her mouth so suddenly her eyes smarted with tears and her lips felt bruised, cold and bereft.

“We’re here, babe-we made it.” His voice was a hoarse and ragged whisper. He gave her head an intense little shake, then let go of her hair and picked up his paddle.

She heard it then: yelling and cheering coming from far off. She lifted her head and through a haze of tears saw the bridge up above, and a line of fire crew vehicles parked all along the road, and the Penny Tours bus was there, too. And up ahead, at the take-out spot, Booker T and half a dozen of her guides and crew-even Tahoe, sporting an arm sling-were waving and cheering, waiting to bring them in.

Sam had her paddle in the air and kept yelling, “My God, we made it, Pearse. I can’t believe we made it.” And Cory was grinning, too, not seeming to mind, now, being injured and in pain.

Aware that Matt was watching her, Alex encompassed them all with the best congratulatory smile she could muster, and concentrated on breathing through the dull ache that had crept in to fill her throat, her chest, her stomach, her whole inside. “Hey, guys, you did it-you ran the Forks of the Kern! Great job!”

And inside her mind was wailing, It’s over. It’s over. It’s over.

The bus was winding cautiously down the mountain road-slower going than usual because of the stream of firefighting vehicles clogging up the road in both directions-when Alex left her customary seat up in front and made her way to the back of the bus, where Matt sat in his chair, locked in place on the lift.

He grinned when he saw her. “Hey-I was wondering when somebody was gonna come back and keep me company.” And his tone was the husky, low-in-the-throat one he used for seduction, the one that once had made pulses start up in all the feminine response outposts in her body.

She gave him a look that warned him she was onto him and in no mood to be wooed. She took the seat nearest the chairlift and said bluntly, “Matthew, we need to talk.”

His eyes darkened and his smile slipped sideways. “Yeah, we do.”

She made an impatient motion with her hand. “Not…that. Not about us.” Then she closed her eyes. “Okay, we do, but not now. That’s not what I meant.” She opened her eyes and let out a breath. “Doesn’t it strike you as strange that so many bad things happened on this run? I mean, we’ve had accidents before, but jeez-it seems like everything that could happen did. So, I’m wondering…why right now?”

“I’m not sure what you’re asking.” But he was looking at her intently, not smiling at all now. “What are you thinking? Thought we agreed the notion that somebody sabotaged-that’s just crazy, Alex.”

She looked away, waited a moment, then brought her eyes back to him. “I didn’t tell you before, but Dave told me the fire was set.”

“What-you mean, on purpose?”

“They’re pretty sure. Think about it-why on earth would anybody set a fire up here? In just the right place for it to spread up the river canyon, where we just happen to be?” She shook her head and looked away again. “I don’t know what to think. But what can I think?” She paused and lowered her voice to a murmur. “How much do you know about your brother? Or Sam? Maybe somebody has something-”

Matt was making frantic gestures to shut up, so she wasn’t all that surprised when Sam spoke from close behind her.

“It’s okay, Matt,” she said as she took the seat across from Alex. “Cory and I have been talking about it, too, actually. Too many things going wrong, it stops being coincidence and becomes…”

“Enemy action,” Cory finished in a croaking voice as he eased carefully into the next seat down. He grinned wryly. “That’s James Bond-from a book, not a movie. So,” he said after a pause, “the question is, which one of us has an enemy who might have taken action?”

They all looked at each other, then shrugged, one by one, and shook their heads. Matt rubbed the back of his neck and muttered, “Hell, I’m just a schoolteacher, man.”

Sam looked at Cory and said softly, “I told you, Pearse. It’s not me, I swear.”

He let out a breath that sounded oddly relieved. “Right.”

“Alex?” Matt was looking at her-they all were.

She reared back, holding up her hands. “Come on, guys.”

“If it was sabotage,” he said quietly, “it would almost have to be somebody with access to the equipment. Wouldn’t it?”

“One of my-” She broke off to stare at him, cold in the pit of her stomach. Then shook her head. “No. No way. We’re like a family. Nobody would do such a thing. Not to me, not to the company.”

Matt shrugged.

Cory nodded.