“Going back to Vail,” she said. “Pretending I belonged there. It reminded me that I will never be happy in that life.”
“That life is over,” I said. “The Keepers are gone now.” As much as I wanted my brother’s wolf restored, I needed to know Sabine could find happiness without the pack.
“I know, Calla,” she said. “And I’ve made my choice.”
Nev reached for Sabine, pulling her into an embrace. “Is this what you really want?”
She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder.
“We’ll miss you,” Nev said, kissing her on the cheek.
Sabine turned around, facing Anika. “It is of my own free will. Take the wolf from me and make Ansel a Guardian again.”
Bryn threw herself at Sabine, hugging her and sobbing.
“Oh, stop,” Sabine growled, but her eyes were glistening too. “You’re making a scene.”
Anika motioned to Tess. “We’ll need an Elixir for this task.”
Tess nodded, threading her way through Searchers and out of the library.
The Arrow scanned the assembled pack. “And if we do this, you’ll agree to the sealing of the Rift?”
My father and I exchanged a look.
I opened my mouth to speak, but Shay beat me to it.
“No.”
Anika and I both stared at him in shock.
“Why?” Anika asked.
Shay slowly shook his head, casting an apologetic glance in my direction. “There’s something else. Something I need to know before I agree to this.”
Anika stared at him, waiting.
“The Guardians will be wolves again,” he said.
Anika nodded.
His gaze hardened when it locked with mine. “But what happens to me?”
My pulse jumped as Anika went pale. I began to shiver, realizing why Shay had asked. He hadn’t been born a wolf; I’d turned him.
When I’d imagined spending the rest of my life as a wolf, Shay had been with me. It had never crossed my mind that when we left our human forms behind, Shay’s origins might mean he couldn’t follow.
But did he want to follow? Was his objection because he wouldn’t choose life as a wolf?
Anika still hadn’t answered him.
“I’m a wolf too,” he said. “But I wasn’t always.”
She nodded, still uneasy.
“What will happen to me when the Rift is sealed?”
I glanced at the faces of my Searcher companions. Connor, Ethan, and Adne were all watching Anika. I couldn’t find any clues about the answer in their expressions.
Anika gripped the medallion at her neck and sighed. “I’m sorry, Shay.”
Shay swallowed hard. “Why?”
“Because we simply don’t know.”
THIRTY
“HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW?” Shay’s teeth were clenched.
Anika held her ground, despite Shay’s glare. “We had no way of anticipating that you would be turned by a Guardian alpha.”
She glanced in my direction, making me wince.
“You were born human,” she said. “My guess is that you will remain with us.”
“Not a wolf,” he whispered. “Are you sure?”
Something inside me began to scream.
“How can you say that?” Mason said. “He’s a wolf. He’s one of us now.”
Nev nodded, gazing at Shay. “You’ve always been a wolf, man. The change was just a technicality.”
“Is that true?” Shay asked Anika. “Could I become a wolf instead?”
“When the Rift is sealed, you’ll become your true self,” Anika said. “That is the only answer we can give you.”
“I-” Shay’s voice faltered.
“Shay.” Sarah came forward, sliding her arm around his shoulders. “You know this must be done.”
He looked at his mother. Her eyes were kind, full of love.
My heart thudded, a heavy weight in my chest. If Shay remained human, he would be able to stay with her. To know the parents who’d been stolen from him. He would have a new life.
But I wouldn’t have the mate I longed for, hunting with me, leading our pack.
As if my thoughts drew his gaze, Shay’s eyes were on me. “Calla?”
I forced myself to swallow the hard lump in my throat. “Anika is right.” He flinched like my words hurt him, but he nodded.
Anika bowed her head. “Thank you.”
Shay didn’t answer.
“Wait a sec,” Connor said. “If Sabine could choose to be human, can’t all the Guardians stay human too?”
“Sabine gave her wolf essence to Ansel,” Anika said. “If the others chose a human life, it would mean we would have to destroy the part of them that remains ever a wolf.”
I shuddered. “Like the Keepers did to Ansel.”
She nodded.
“But you’d be human,” Connor said. “So-glass half full, right?”
“Dude,” Nev said. “You have obviously never been a wolf.”
“Sabine wanted to stay human,” Connor said.
“It’s different for me,” Sabine said with a shudder. “Pack life didn’t mean to me what it means to the others.”
“You saw Ansel after his wolf was destroyed,” I said. “It destroyed him, too. The wolf is who we are. There is no choice here.”
Ethan frowned at Sabine. “Will it hurt you?”
“Physically, yes,” she said. “I know it will be painful. But this is what I want. Ansel’s wolf was taken violently from him. He’s been grieving a stolen life. I’m choosing to become only human. It’s different.”
“And you all feel like Ansel?” Connor asked. “You’d rather be wolves?”
“We’re a pack,” Mason said. “We belong in the wild.”
“But what about your singing?” Adne was looking at Nev.
“What do you think howling is?” Nev grinned.
“I guess I don’t get it,” Connor said.
“I would never expect you to,” I said. “But if you could run with us, hunt with us. If the moon called you into the forest at midnight… then you would know how we feel.”
Connor looked at me, still puzzled, but I was watching Shay. His eyes were shadowed. I walked over to him.
“But you do,” I whispered. “You understand.”
He nodded, threading his fingers through mine. His grip was so tight it hurt. “I remember the first night after you turned me. We hunted under the moon. We ran for miles and I never felt tired. There is nothing on this earth like it.”
I stood facing him, letting memories slide over me. My mate. My alpha. I didn’t want to race through the woods without him at my side. But what I wanted paled in the face of what had to happen. I’d made the choice to follow
