“You’re one of the good guys, Ryan. I think any girl can tell that about you once she gets past the tattoos and the wise-cracks. Did you do what I told you? Did you tell her why you’re hesitant?”
“Yeah, when she and I went for that drive Sunday before she went home, I told her. I thought it might freak her out a little bit, but she was-well, I think it was a turn on because she was all over me.”
“It is a turn on, you nit-wit,” I laughed, squeezing his arm tightly.
“Why? I’m not going to have a clue and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to start right out the gate being a rock star.”
Now I was really laughing. I never would have thought he would have stated it quite that way.
“What’s so funny,” he demanded.
“She’ll remember it for the rest of her life and I’m sure it won’t take you long to be her personal ‘rock star.’”
“So were you-were you Micah’s rock star that first night?” he whispered quietly in my ear.
“That’s a little personal, Ryan,” all my teasing evaporated.
“I have a feeling you were,” he continued, not realizing just how uncomfortable he was making me.
I pulled away from under his arm and got up and went into the bathroom. Washing my face and trying to keep from breaking down as I recalled my few days of heaven in Micah’s arms. I missed him so badly that, just like the love in his heart he described for me, it hurt, physically inside.
“I’m sorry, Leese,” he said, standing in the doorway. “I had no business asking you that.”
I broke into sobs as he wrapped his arms around me. “I miss him so badly. I thought it would get easier the longer we’re apart, but I swear I think I could actually let his family get slaughtered, just so I could have him again for a little while.”
“No, you wouldn’t. You’re stronger than that, but I hope someday you’ll realize you can’t keep going on alone. Micah would understand if you-”
“Only if he knew why. But, if he knew, he’d kill D’Angelo and then the mob would kill him and his family anyway. I can never tell him why,” I choked. “I hope I never have to face him because I don’t think I have enough strength to turn him away. You have no idea how hard it is to want to see someone with every ounce of your body and, at the same time, want to avoid that person just as badly.”
“I had a taste of it, but you’re right, I guess I don’t know what you’re really going through.”
I looked up into those penetrating blue eyes and searched, without words, for what he was referring to by saying he’d had a taste of it.
“When you got married, I knew my chance was gone. I had to force myself to go to the wedding and I nearly lost my courage to find you and dance with you, because I just knew it was pointless. Then when I saw your mom and his brother at the hotel and she invited me to have dinner, I opted to take your sister to a movie instead because, even though everything inside me wanted to see you again, I knew I couldn’t take it-I knew you’d been with him and… I just couldn’t take it.”
“And who knew we’d end up here, huh?” A small grin finally tugged at the edges of my quivering lips.
“That’s what we should do tonight!”
He was so enthusiastic about it, and I didn’t even know what ‘it’ was. “What?”
“Go dancing,” he beamed.
I winced and he noticed.
“You can’t tell me you don’t like to dance?”
“I love dancing, but… Well, it’s just that I… You’ll get the wrong idea and since we’re sharing a room, this might not be the smartest thing to do. Kind of like letting me kiss your neck.” I reminded him, hoping he would understand. He got the reference to his neck, but other than that he seemed mystified. “Okay, fine. I’ll just say it: I dance dirty.”
He busted out laughing, “You? Sweet, little innocent you? You dance-”
“Like a pole dancer,” I finished for him.
“This I gotta see. Now I wish I’d let you buy me that suit, or at least the slacks and a dress shirt.”
Before the afternoon was over, he had a pair of black silk slacks, dress shoes and a crisp white dress shirt. I still wasn’t convinced this was a good idea, but I bought a dress and heals to go clubbing in and away we went.
I called Don and asked, since I didn’t want to end up in the wrong club, where was a good place for a night of dancing; he told me to hit Hollywood. He recommended two clubs in particular and said to have fun. I called for a limo and away we went.
I wasn’t sure what to expect out of Ryan on the dance floor, but he stunned me with the fact that he could dance-I mean
“I don’t think there is any kid from Palm Beach that hasn’t been enrolled in a dance class-yeah, my mom insisted. I did it for a year just before my dad died. By the way, I don’t think you dance dirty. I’m guessing you aced expression dancing.”
I just laughed and pulled him back out onto the floor. By the end of the night he determined that we had a song that fit us, or at least from his perspective. It was new when we were both in elementary school, but it didn’t matter. The DJ played Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down and we burned up the dance floor with a variation of a fast jitterbug.
“So,” I asked as we rode in the limo back to the hotel, “How does the song fit us?”
“Okay when it says ‘I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon, after all I knew it had to be something to do with you.’ That’s the moment when I knew I had to help you run. And, ‘I really don’t mind what happens now and then, as long as you’ll be my friend at the end.’ That statement is fact as far as I’m concerned. I’ll keep your secrets, so we’ve got that one. I don’t honestly think you’ve taken me for granted, but the ‘if not for me then you’d be dead, I picked you up and put you back on solid ground,’ was getting you to Colorado Springs and helping you start over.”
“But I’m kryptonite to you then. Isn’t that something his enemies used against him?” I felt like we were back in AP English dissecting poetry.
“Definitely,” he grinned. He was exhausted as he leaned back into the plush seat and stretched out his long legs.
“I don’t actually get that.”
“You’re my weakness. I’m not a run-around, as you mentioned earlier today, and I’m falling hard for Candace, but you are the one person who could make me change everything-you are my weakness. I think I can handle almost anything, unless it involves you. If something happened to you, I-I couldn’t take it.” He dropped from fun and teasing to serious on that last sentence.
I guessed it would be wise to put a little humor back into this conversation before he went too deep on me, “And you can fly, and you can cut hair, and you can dance like a maniac-yes, I think you’re right; you are superman.”
“And, if Micah catches us, we’ll see if I’m faster than a speeding bullet!” he said, bursting into laughter.
The smile fell off my face, “That’s not funny.”
I was going to refuse to laugh, but he tickled me mercilessly until I was nearly in tears.
“So now that I’ve got you,” he panted, pinning me to the seat, “how about those three extra kisses?”
“I never agreed to that, Superman,” I stated as I tried to wiggle free from his hold.
His face descended, but I turned my cheek to him. He readjusted for my mouth, as I dodged for a second time.
“You aren’t serious?” I asked as I struggled to avoid him, “Ryan, stop.”
He pulled back slightly, but didn’t let me go, “Yes, I am. I don’t want you to keep blowing money on me and three kisses are what I want instead.”
“I’ll stop ‘blowing’ money on you then, but I don’t think we should get this-” I was going to finish by saying ‘close,’ but he had taken my chin in hand and wasn’t going to allow me to turn his last attempt away.
His mouth was on mine just as soft and gentle as the first time I kissed him. The tip of his tongue, like a piece of silk, stroked my lips, begging me to give in. I missed kissing almost as much as I missed sex and I felt defenseless to refuse. My lips parted as I accepted his invitation to share the intimacy of the moment. I’m not really sure how long the kiss lasted, but we were both breathless and wide-eyed when our lips parted. I don’t think he
