considered the fact when he had kissed me that he still had me under him on the seat, but realizing it now we were both flushed with heat and need.
“I don’t think this is a-” I started to say.
“Good idea,” we finished together.
“Damn, Leese. I’d forgotten how awesome you are at this. If I go for two more, I’m afraid we won’t stop.”
“I agree-please, get up-I can’t take-”
He rose and took my hand, righting me in the seat.
We finished the trip in silence, went to our separate beds in our room, and tried to sleep. I watched the clock from one a.m. to three a.m. when I heard him whisper in the dark asking if I was awake.
“Yes,” came my quiet reply.
“If we don’t sleep together, we aren’t going to get any sleep.”
“Then stay up and watch the sunrise with me, but we aren’t getting into one bed.”
“Are you mad at me for kissing you?”
“Yes.”
“I wish I could tell you I was sorry, but I’m not.”
“Ryan.”
“Yeah?”
“You said earlier I’m your weakness, even though you’re falling for Candace.”
He rolled over in his bed and faced me, reaching across the short distance between them to touch my cheek, “You are, and I think I’m always going to love you no matter what happens between me and her.”
“I want you to know you’re my weakness. I’m not going to have you fly me back out here next week. I’ve found a place of my own-”
“Don’t, Annalisa-please, don’t put distance between us.”
“I’ll still be in Colorado Springs. It’s a nice place about two miles south of our-of your place,” I corrected. “I couldn’t get too far away from you. I’m just too damn weak for that right now.”
“When are you moving?” I could hear the deep sadness in his voice.
“If everything is worked out with the lease when I get back, I guess it will be sometime next week.”
“Don’t expect me to stay away from you,” he warned. “I’m not going to let my best friend be lonely.”
“I don’t want you to stay away. It’s just at night, when we’re alone, I’m-I’m just not strong enough to keep being this close.”
“Leese, I know the day you ran away you told me you loved me, but I also know it was for the camera, not for me. How do you really feel about me?”
I had to be honest with him, but I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I slid onto the floor, resting on my knees as I knelt beside his bed. I cupped his face in my hands and lowered my lips to his. I know he wasn’t expecting me to do this and all the while I was hoping I’d be able to stop, but I had to show him the emotions that were bottled up inside me. His arms encircled me, trying to pull me up onto the bed with him, but I couldn’t. I released him from the kiss. He tried to come back for another as I placed my fingers over his lips. “I love you so much, Ryan Faultz-but the last kiss can never happen. I guess you’ll just have to be happy with a piece of my heart.”
“I wish things weren’t so complicated between us.”
“Me too, but God has a purpose for everything.”
“I believe that too, but sometimes it’s really hard to accept.” He leaned toward me and kissed my forehead. “Sunrise isn’t far away; maybe we should try to get some sleep. I can be good, if you can,” he said sliding away from the edge of the bed and making enough room for me.
I told Candace I wouldn’t, but…
I lay down in the warm place he left when he moved over, turning my back to him and feeling the wonderful sensation of him holding me close, “Goodnight, Ryan.”
He kissed my shoulder and whispered, “Sleep tight.”
It was a good thing I wasn’t required to be in studio for the taping of the men’s show until four p.m. because it was after one in the afternoon before I finally stirred. It was the first time that Ryan actually woke before me. He was on his back staring at the ceiling when I rolled over.
“Good morning,” I yawned.
“Nope, baby girl, it’s afternoon.”
“What are you looking at?” I was trying to see what he was seeing in the ceiling tiles, because he seemed to be fixated.
He just kept looking up, ignoring my question.
“Okay,” I said, deciding to head for the shower, but just as my feet hit the floor he spoke.
“You scared me this morning,” came his simple statement.
I wasn’t sure exactly what he was talking about. I didn’t think it frightened him when I kissed him in the wee hours, nor when I finally told him how I really felt about him, so I was mystified, “About what?”
“You were talking in your sleep a little bit ago, but I thought you were awake.”
I knew I talked sometimes in my sleep, but I wondered what I could have said to scare him. “What did I say?”
“It was around eleven when I woke up because you were getting wiggly so I kissed your shoulder and you, very clearly said, ‘Make love to me.’” He swallowed, but continued, “It felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest, so I asked if you were sure.”
Now my heart was pounding with what I was obviously wanting in my sleep, “Go on.” Yet, I could tell he didn’t want to finish.
He took an unsteady breath. “You said, ‘Please, I need you so badly,’” he paused. “Then you were calling out his name, begging for him to take you and I realized you were still asleep.”
It was a strange sensation to be happy that Micah was still the man on my mind, and yet so sad to realize how it must have hurt Ryan to listen to me calling out for someone else.
I wanted to say I was sorry, but he’d known all along that I was deeply in love with Micah Gavarreen; I simply couldn’t apologize for that.
He stopped staring at the ceiling and got up and headed for the bathroom.
“Are you okay?” I asked softly as he walked away.
“You know I’ve only got one thing to say about this,” he turned and stared into my eyes.
I was a little concerned about the sharpness in his voice, but then I watched him wipe the corners of his eyes and I knew it wasn’t anger coming from him.
“He is one lucky son-of-a-bitch.”
Chapter Sixteen
“But I was told that the CIA wasn’t going to make an official presence in this latest skirmish,” the man said, studying the Americans with clear suspicion.
“We’re not,” David stated sternly, “but you can understand our concern about your success. You’ve managed to cut the flow of cocaine to the US dramatically, but when our operatives got a good lead about the latest effort to remove you from office, we decided to share the information. We are just here to offer you some suggestions.”
“Our informants tell us they are planning an attack on your personal residence in less than two hours,” Micah added. “I suggest you move your family to a safe house. We have a helicopter standing ready to take you there and you can order your forces to lay in wait for the attack. The first group will be small, just to see if you are trapped in the building. They are planning to send a second wave of five hundred men to surround the hillside by your home and they will cut down everyone who gets in their path.
“They aren’t planning on stopping this time until they have destroyed you or at least sent a clear message to the people that they are tired of you standing in the way of their business. If your men take out the first small contingent, and then move to an air attack, you’ll have the upper hand. The only ones who will be surprised will be their men,” Micah finished.
“My intelligence people say I should be more concerned about a pair of hit men from the states posing as CIA
