for Ryan to show up unless he skipped out on the worship service. I got up and glanced in the mirror. I still had dark circles under my eyes from crying so much last night.
“Ryan?” I called out as I emerged into the living room.
“He’s not here,” came a male voice from my kitchen area.
I screamed before I could stifle it as I turned and saw Micah standing inside my house. “Wha-what are you doing in here?”
“I came to see you,” he stated as if I should have expected him.
This wasn’t good. Ryan would be showing up in the next fifteen to twenty minutes and I could clearly see by his unzipped jacket that he was armed. I would have to be strong and I would have to get rid of him in a hurry. I couldn’t show any weakness and I couldn’t fall as easily as I did when I ended up in his arms last night.
“You need to leave,” I was trying to be firm, but not panicked.
“Why? Last night you were ready for me to take you and now you want me to go away?”
I studied his eyes. I could tell the level of danger by watching those green barometers. He was on an edge; anger was in place of the deadly emptiness that I feared more than anything.
“Please, leave Micah. We settled this last night.”
He began moving toward me as I backed slowly.
“Nothing was settled last night, Leese. You wanted me, you needed me, and then you ran away. All I want is to know why? Why Ryan? I don’t believe you love him.”
“Don’t doubt that, Micah. I do love him.”
“More than me?”
I could feel the stab to my heart, “I’m here.”
I couldn’t back anymore as I had reached the couch and was ready to turn and move around it when he swiftly reached out and grabbed my arm.
“
I could smell his breath and I knew he’d been drinking. He wasn’t drunk, but he was definitely not in his right mind. I had never seen Micah in this state, and fear was spiking inside me as I desperately tried to remain calm. “Please,” I re-asked. “Please don’t do this-I need you to leave.”
“Will he be home soon, Leese? What did he do? Did he go out to get you something to eat? Did you get your thrills with him last night?” He was so close to going over the edge, it was almost visible.
“Out! I want you out now,” I demanded with a shaky voice.
He grabbed my upper arms so hard that I could feel the bruising as he jerked me to his chest, covering my mouth with his. I could taste the alcohol; I could taste the hate and the need he had to kill someone. I pushed hard against his chest, breaking the kiss and slapping his cheek. It was as if I had placed the blade to my chest just as in my nightmare. To hurt him, was to kill myself.
I could see my reaction stunned him and then he seemed to unravel with fury as the back of his hand hit me hard in the face and I flew backward onto the coffee table sending the items on the table scattering. I rolled off the table to the floor and covered my cheek with my hand. It had been a powerful hit and it stung horribly. I could taste the blood in my mouth.
I was rising from the floor when I looked back into his eyes. I couldn’t tell who he was. He had given into the animal part of himself and he didn’t care that I had just been knocked across the room.
“Tell me why you left me,” he growled, snatching me by the wrist with a steel grip.
I tried to twist out of the weakest part of his hold, but at the moment there were no weaknesses. Again he was trying to kiss me, but his mouth was so hard and unyielding that I could feel my lips being cut by my teeth as he slammed into me.
“Stop it, Micah, please,” I begged as I pushed away from him.
“Why? Don’t you like this, baby
I was crying out for him to stop, but I could tell he wasn’t hearing my pleas as he pushed me violently back onto the couch. I was no longer dealing with Micah; I was dealing with pure rage. I was shocked that he was actually undoing his jeans as I rolled from the couch and scrambled on all fours to try to get away. He grabbed me brutally by my calves and jerked me back.
“No!” I screamed at him as he flipped me onto my back. I was kicking and sliding backwards as he continued to grab at me as if I was nothing more than a piece of meat. He was bruising my thighs as he pulled me to him. He lowered himself toward me and I took the only opening I had to punch toward his face. I was aiming for his nose, hoping to stun him enough that I could get out before his weight came down on me, but he was too skilled of a fighter as he turned his face and I hit his rock-hard jaw. His hand came around my throat and tightened so hard I thought he would crush my windpipe. He slapped my face twice, open handed, but shockingly hard.
I was passing out. I couldn’t breathe. His hand moved just before I lost consciousness. I gasped and sputtered for air. Then he was on me, his weight crushing my already air deprived lungs. He was tearing the last of my clothes and under garments, my body screaming in pain as the elastic on my bra cut into my skin. Then he was biting me, not the way he used to when he would make love to me, but literally sinking his teeth into skin. I was crying and pleading for him to stop. I was saying his name over and over, hoping it would shake him out of his inhuman state before he did the unthinkable.
It was too late. I screamed out in pain as his body tore into mine. I wasn’t prepared for his entrance and even if I had been, his aim was skewed and my body seemed to split under the punching drive of his hips. His massive hands were gripping my shoulders too hard and it felt as if he had bruised every inch of my body has he raped me on the floor.
I was convulsing with sobs, as the violence slowed. The rage was releasing its hold over him and he began to call out my name. He was becoming controlled as he found his rhythm inside me. “Leese, Leese, I’m sorry,” he cried, tears now coursing down his face as he continued to bring himself back to the human side. “I love you, baby- I’m so sorry-I need you so badly-please, please don’t cry.” He lifted slightly as he looked into my bloody, shocked face. His mouth came down again, but this time softly, kissing my eyes and my cheeks, my chin and my mouth.
My body was starting to respond to what was now turning gentle. I didn’t want to let my physical side win this battle, because that was what it had been, but the needs I’d had stored away for so long were now being brought to life.
His mouth was begging me to part my lips and respond. With tears rolling down my cheeks, I accepted the kiss; the taste of my blood mixing with the flavor of the alcohol. His hips were grinding so deliberately and I couldn’t fight the feeling any longer as I cried out and thrust my hips upward to meet his strokes. He cried out at the same moment and we crested together.
I didn’t want to open my eyes and look at him as he observed the damage he’d done to me. “God, Leese, why did it have to be this way?” he said with a stunned, choked sob, “I never meant… I didn’t want to hurt-”
At that moment, I heard the sound of the Javelin and terror flooded me. Micah raised himself, pulling up and refastening his jeans. His human side simply vanished as his eyes went blank; he reached in his jacket and pulled out his pistol.
“No,” I begged, gripping his arm, the gun pointing dangerously toward me, “Don’t hurt him, Micah. I swear if you hurt him then you might as well kill me right now.”
His eyes were still blank as I heard the engine turn off. He looked up and then looked back at me.
I grabbed the barrel and pressed it to my chest. “Go ahead,” I choked, “pull the trigger, Micah, because I won’t live if you hurt him.”
“I-I can’t.”
My finger went into the trigger guard and I was poised to finish this.
“Don’t Leese,” he said pushing the safety back on with his other hand, “He’s not worth it, is he?”
“He’s worth every breath left in my body. Take his life and you’ve ended mine, too.”
I could hear as the key was turning in the lock. Micah was up and away from me in an instant, the gun still gripped in his hand. The scream strangled in my throat as Ryan opened the door and Micah jerked him inside and slammed him against the wall so hard I thought he would knock him out.
