Anthony had unwittingly dragged her into, but she’d dealt with Carranza and Bridget with an intrepidness that had made him proud.
Oh, yeah, she had more courage than she realized, or gave herself credit for. But it was up to Paige to see that strength within herself. Embrace it. Believe in it. It wasn’t something he could force upon her.
Nick looped Desiree’s reins around the second rung of the fence bordering the corral as they waited for Paige to arrive. “Your mother and I have gone through our share of problems,” Nick went on, gazing up at the house. “Some of them stemmed from my job as a cop, but when you love someone as much as I love your mother, you put your priorities in order and make it work.”
Josh had watched Paige struggle to keep her marriage to Anthony together, but without two people striving toward a common goal, it had been impossible. And as the old saying went, she was once burned, twice shy.
Lacey snorted softly and nudged Josh in the shoulder for some attention. Josh scratched her behind the ear. A few minutes later, Paige came out of the house and headed toward the stable, a relaxed smile on her face. Black stirrup pants molded to her slender legs, and an over-sized T-shirt reached to mid-thigh, hiding the more generous curves of her body. She’d pulled her auburn hair into a ponytail and wore little makeup. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked so refreshed and beautiful, and knew the easy, unhurried atmosphere was the reason.
Having grown up with horses, Paige slid gracefully into Desiree’s saddle. Josh followed suit with Lacey.
“Have a good time, you two,” his father said with a wave, then headed back toward the house.
Josh guided the horses toward a dirt path that led to the edge of the wooded area surrounding his parents’ house. The sun shone bright and warm, the air fresh and sweet as it carried on the slight breeze.
Paige drew a deep breath and let it out on a blissful sigh. Her body rocked in the saddle, flowing with the horse’s movements. “Can we stay here forever?”
Josh was tempted to say yes, just to keep that dazzling smile on her lips. “We can always come back. Anytime.”
She glanced at him, regret clouding her gaze, telling him she still planned on leaving him after her part in the case was over. “Your parents’ place reminds me of home. Laid-back. Casual. None of the hustle of the city. I can’t tell you how much I miss that.” Reaching down, she stroked Desiree’s withers. “I always thought I’d marry someone from Connecticut, maybe settle down on a farm, have half a dozen kids…” Her voice trailed off wistfully.
“And instead you moved to Miami and married Anthony.”
“Didn’t think twice about it, either,” she said, not without a note of self-recrimination. “I loved him, Josh, and I honestly believed he loved me, too. I wouldn’t have married him otherwise.” She gave a humorless laugh. “Unfortunately, I was wrong about Anthony’s intentions.”
Josh’s jaw tightened. “Anthony didn’t know how to appreciate what he had.”
She shrugged, resignation in her expression. “What I wanted was so simple, really. A faithful husband, a warm home filled with love and laughter, a family of my own. The kind of things most women want, I suppose.”
“I want to give you those things, Paige.”
Her fingers tightened on the reins. “And I want those things with you, too, Josh, but I hate what you do for a living, the danger, the uncertainties-”
“Then I’ll find another job.” The words spilled out automatically, desperately, without thought. His heart thudded as he waited for her answer, because he wasn’t sure if he could give up something that was so much a part of him.
She understood. “No, you won’t, because I’d never ask you to do that for me. You honestly love what you do, and I respect that, but I can’t live with it again. The long hours, the sleepless nights…the fear of loving someone I might lose.”
Frustration twisted inside him. “Life, or marriage, doesn’t come with guarantees. You won’t find them with me or anyone else.”
Sadness dimmed her green eyes. “Oh, I know that, but I can lessen the risk.”
Josh’s mood veered sharply to anger. He damned Anthony for tainting her perception of being a cop’s wife. Mostly, he damned himself for not being more assertive three years ago and laying his own claim to Paige.
Now it was too late.
“Josh…I started my period this morning,” she said quietly.
The finality of her statement sent a shaft of disappointment straight through his heart. In the deepest recesses of his soul, he realized he’d been hoping that she’d be pregnant with their baby, which would have kept her bound to him in ways his declaration of love couldn’t. Selfish, yes, but the thought of losing her tied him up in knots.
He tried to separate his anticipation from more immediate concerns. “Do we need to make a quick trip to the store?”
A small smile played around the corners of her mouth, but didn’t diminish the shadows in her eyes. “I had a feeling I was going to start soon and came prepared. I think getting away from everything finally alleviated the stress my mind and body have been under.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” His voice was rough, and he swallowed to ease the dryness.
“It’s for the best, Josh.”
He forced himself to nod. “You certainly don’t need the worry of being pregnant right now.”
“No, I don’t,” she agreed, staring toward the open field of tall grass and wildflowers stretching ahead. “Another week, two at the most, and I’ll be back in Connecticut.”
He didn’t voice any of them. If he pressured her to stay, she’d be miserable, possibly grow to resent him, and he’d be no better than Anthony, who’d had no qualms about manipulating her emotions.
The decision to remain had to be made of her own free will.
He loved her and there was only one thing he could do to prove how much he cared.
He’d let her go.
10
PAIGE HUNG UP the phone in her office, her hand amazingly steady considering her insides were trembling with an abundance of nerves. Remaining behind her lesk, she glanced over at Josh and the high-tech recording equipment he’d set up to monitor every incoming md outgoing call on her business line since Monday. Wednesday had finally produced the results they’d been anticipating.
They’d been expecting the call from Carranza. Josh had briefed her on possible situations and answers, so she’d been prepared to handle whatever direction Victor chose to take the conversation. She’d been calm and poised during their verbal exchange, had even managed to interject light laughter at the appropriate times. The man had been charming and straightforward in his approach, stating a further interest in the Wild Rose, and the diamond-and-emerald necklace she had in her possession. He wanted to discuss both at the dinner party he’d invited her and her “companion” to.
His interest in her boutique was merely a smoke screen, she knew, and the idle comment he’d made about having his jeweler duplicate the emerald neckace if she wasn’t willing to part with hers was a nice, eassuring touch, she thought.
Josh pushed a button to stop the recording tape and slipped off the headset he wore. His gaze met hers warm and encouraging. “You did great, Paige.”
“Well, it sounds like we have ourselves a date for Saturday evening. A black-tie affair, no less. I guess this means I’ll be getting a new dress for the occasion.” A forced smile curved her lips, but did nothing to veil the edge of sarcasm in her voice. “And I thought it was quite generous of Carranza to offer us weekend access to his guest cottage, didn’t you?”
Josh stood and stretched, his gaze turning cautious “If everything goes as planned, we won’t be there beyond Saturday evening.”
She gathered the inventory sheets she’d been working on before Carranza had called and stuffed them into a
