'Wasn't that incredible?' Mariah was still filled with excitement as she and Jade exited her obstetrician's office and walked across the parking lot to her car. She'd just had her five-month checkup and ultrasound, and was thrilled and relieved to find out the baby was healthy.
'Yeah, it was,' Jade agreed, smiling. 'It's amazing to hear that little heart beat and see the baby actually moving inside you.' She gazed at the ultrasound picture the doctor had given Mariah, an X ray that outlined the baby's head and body. In this particular pose, the baby was sucking its thumb. 'Too bad the little critter wouldn't open up its legs so we could get a peek.'
'Just think what a surprise it'll be when the baby is born.' Mariah dug her car keys from her purse. 'And you'll be right there in the delivery room when it happens.'
'I don't know about this coaching stuff,' Jade said as they slipped into the car. 'You know the sight of blood makes me queasy.'
'You'll be fine.' Mariah buckled her seat belt over her rounded, ever-expanding waistline and gave her sister a reassuring pat on the knee. 'I'll be the one in pain.'
'Grey should have been here today, not me,' Jade said quietly.
Mariah sighed, staring out the windshield at nothing in particular. She'd thought the same thing. When she'd seen and felt the baby move within her body she'd been breathless with wonder, and on the heels of that came a twinge of sadness that wrapped around her heart and squeezed tight.
She couldn't help but feel doubts and sometimes guilt for keeping Grey's baby a secret. He was the father of this baby, but her arguments always whittled down to one plain and simple issue. Grey didn't want children. Ever. Oh, she didn't doubt he'd take responsibility for the baby, but she didn't want his acceptance to be one of financial obligation. She wanted it to be borne of unconditional love for the child.
There was no question in her mind that he'd make a good, caring father. She'd told him as much. But the awful, bitter memories of Grey's father's abuse shadowed his confidence. And there was no way she could prove him wrong, not until he was ready to believe in himself, and in his strength and ability to be a better man than his father was. She seriously doubted anything had happened in the past rive months to change his way of thinking.
Wrapping her fingers around the steering wheel, she waited for the tightness in her chest to ease. Although the emotional ups and downs had subsided over the months, along with the morning sickness, there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think about Grey. She was desperately trying to put him and their relationship behind her and focus on her future with their child. But forgetting Grey was impossible. Whenever she looked in the mirror and saw the changes to her body, she thought of the man who'd helped create the baby inside her. And she remembered the love they'd shared for one perfect week.
Finally she glanced at Jade. Her sister expected a response to her statement, she could tell, but she wasn't up to defending her decision. She did that often enough with her father, though her parents had come to accept her choice.
'I've got a craving for a Monte Cristo,' she said instead, forcing a smile. 'How about lunch on me at Maxine's?'
Jade lifted a dark brow. 'That's way across town.'
Mariah shrugged and started the car. 'But it's my favorite place. I haven't been there since…'
Jade held her hands up in surrender. 'Who am I to stand in the way of a pregnant woman's craving?'
Mariah grinned at her sister and lovingly patted her swollen belly. 'You're a smart woman.'
'Well, I do have to say that your prices are more than fair, and your references are impeccable.' Sam Haight set Grey's five-page proposal back on the table and leaned back in the Naugahyde booth with a satisfied smile on his face. 'I've put off a new security system long enough. The job is yours if you want it.'
Grey stared at the older man for a moment, unable to drum up any excitement for the six-figure deal Sam Haight had accepted so effortlessly. The man hadn't quibbled on the high-tech security system Grey had recommended for his plush offices, and he hadn't tried dickering on the cost. Where was the elation that came from such an easy victory?
'Well, Grey, do we have a deal or not?' Sam asked. 'I'm anxious to get the security system installed.' He rubbed his hands together, as if this security system was a new toy and he couldn't wait to play with it.
He'd be crazy to turn down such an easy, profitable job. Grey motioned to their waitress to bring the check for their lunch, then turned back to Sam. 'I'll have the contract drawn up and to you by the end of the week. Installation can start as soon as next Monday.'
'Fabulous. I'm looking forward to doing business with you.'
'I'm looking forward to doing the job.' Grey's reply came automatically, considering he didn't look forward to doing much these days. Since his breakup with Mariah, work had become an escape, a way to keep his mind off what he'd let slip though his fingers. Even the ruthless drive he once had to build his security firm into a Fortune 500 company had lost its appeal and excitement.
One night, while sitting alone in the dark in his living room nursing a beer, he'd come to the realization that his life had no real purpose or direction. Oh, sure, he was wealthy enough that he could purchase anything money could buy, but it wasn't material items he wanted. No, his longing went much deeper than purchasing something on a whim. The yearning had settled in his soul, making him feel restless, lonely and miserable.
Certainly the deep ache would fade in time, he kept telling himself. But, dammit, how long would he have to wait until his heart didn't hurt anymore? How long before he could look at another woman and not see something about her that reminded him of Mariah? How long before the deep regret of letting her walk out of his life would fade?
The waitress arrived with the check, and Grey mentally shoved his disturbing thoughts back into the dark, secluded spot in his soul where he kept them hidden. After paying the bill, he grabbed his briefcase, and he and Sam slid from the booth, heading toward the entrance of Maxine's.
Grey passed a young, pretty hostess as she led a couple to a table, and she gave him a seductive smile that made her interest in him clear. He waited for a stirring of attraction, a spark of desire, but none came. He shook his head in frustration and anger. He'd become a goddamned monk since Mariah.
The waiting area was crowded with lunchtime patrons waiting for a table, forcing him to cut through the lounge. His steps slowed as his gaze slid over silky blond hair cut into a shoulder-length style that reminded him of Mariah's. He could have sworn he caught a whiff of the light floral fragrance she sometimes wore.
He shook his head. Hard. He couldn't see the woman's face, but then he already knew it wasn't her. It never was. One time he'd made a fool of himself in public, running after a woman who'd looked so much like Mariah from behind, only to grab her arm, turn her around, and have the strange woman stare at him as if he was crazy.
Some days he thought he
Keeping his eye on the neon Exit sign over the front doors of the establishment, he fumbled for the open roll of Turns in his slacks' pocket.
He heard husky laughter, so much like Mariah's. Grey swore beneath his breath as he crunched into a chalky tablet. Impatient to be gone from the restaurant and the memories that were beginning to crowd his mind, he pushed open the heavy carved doors, let Sam precede him, and started out behind him.
'Mariah Stevens, party of two, please,' the hostess announced over the intercom.
Grey froze. His heart thundered in his ears, and his chest tightened painfully. He had to have misheard the page. Either that or he was closer to insanity than he'd originally thought.
'How long do I have to put up with these cravings of yours?' Grey heard a familiar voice ask from behind him. A sassy voice from the past.
That sweet laughter again. 'Only four more months.'
The woman groaned. 'This I can handle, but I draw the line at pickles and ice cream.'
The exchange seemed surreal to Grey, but he found himself slowly turning around. He let the door shut, rudely leaving Sam outside by himself. Grey couldn't bring himself to care, because this was probably some sort of dream anyway.
He saw the blonde and brunette heading toward the waiting hostess. Before he lost his nerve, he called, 'Mariah?'
