Seduced

She wouldn't expect him to. He wasn't a coward as she'd been. Ryan wanted answers, an explanation, and since he'd been nothing but sincere with her, he deserved her honesty in return. And maybe, if she was lucky, once their discussion was over he'd understand her position and they'd be able to part as friends.

He pounded on the door again, making the whole apartment seem to shake with the wrath that stood out in the hallway. Before he could wake her neighbors, she unlocked and opened her door, feeling surprisingly calm after having had two hours to purge herself of her tears and misery.

He brushed past her into the living room, then stopped, jammed his hands on his hips, andglared at her. Not only was he not happy, he wasfurious.

Judging by his appearance, she guessed he'd woken up, realized she was gone, and had grabbed the first article of clothing he'd come into contact with, which was the shirt and slacks he'd worn last night, now wrinkled from being tossed haphazardly to the floor. He'd been in such a hurry that he hadn't bothered to tuck in the tails, nor had he put on any socks. His dark hair was still tousled from her running her fingers through the strands last night, his unshaven jaw was clenched, and his eyes were dark, but rimmed in a bright shade of gold that seared her straight to her soul.

Praying that he wouldn't hate her for what she had to do, for what she'd done, she closed the door, leaned against it, and waited for him to unleash the anger raging just below the surface.

The tempest didn't take long to erupt. He swept a hand in the air, his expression thunderous, showing her a very different side to the sexy, teasing, tender man she knew. 'What the hell was that all about, you sneaking out in the middle of the night like I was some kind of one-night stand?'

Even though she knew his question was born of anger, she inwardly winced at his tawdry reference, when last night-the whole month they'd spent together-had been anything but a cheap tryst. The time with him had been magical, sensual, unforgettable.

And temporary.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered around the tight knot of emotion in her throat, belatedly realizing the apology was inadequate for her departure, which had been instigated by pure panic.

She drew a breath and flattened her palms against the cool door. 'I thought me leaving would be the easiest way to…'

'End things between us?' he finished for her.

The man was very perceptive, but she'd discovered that characteristic about him the past month, among others. 'Yes.'

'You thoughtwrong, Jessica,' he said, his tone vibrating with resentment, and a deeper layer of hurt. 'I don't take what we did last night lightly, not after wanting you for the past year. When I went to bed with you, when we madelove, I expected to wake up with you next to me. Instead, I find the key to my house, and a facsimile of a 'Dear John' letter on my nightstand.'

The pressure in her chest felt near unbearable, but she lifted her chin and clung to her convictions. 'I know I didn't handle this morning the best way-'

'No, you didn't,' he interrupted heatedly, and slowly stalked toward her, a ruthless light in his eyes. 'And I don't appreciate you making decisions for me when I'm capable of making them for myself.'

Her stomach clenched as he neared. She didn't fearhim, just his arguments. He was a man used to debating, and winning, and this was one issue on which she had to stand firm. 'I made the decision to leave, to end our affair, for myselfand for you.'

He stopped two feet away, the heat and energy radiating off him nearly palpable. 'How… considerate of you. But what makes you believe I want us to end?'

There was the rub in their situation. Right now, he was so caught up in the physical aspect of their relationship, the new and fresh emotions of love, that he didn't want the euphoria to end. Neither did she, but she was a realist and knew better, and sustaining what was between them now into the distant future was another matter altogether. And too huge a risk to her heart.

Before she could formulate a response, his gaze narrowed and he continued in a demanding tone. 'I want reasons, Jessica. Are you ending things because I'm a divorce attorney?'

His question wasn't unwarranted. From the first time she'd met him at Brooke's cabin a year ago she'd clung to that excuse to keep her attraction to him at bay. She'd been successful, until this month. During the course of the past four weeks, she'd discovered all her preconceived notions about him, about lawyers, had been a defense. She'd always felt the need to blame someone for destroying her family, and blaming her father, and his attorney, had been the easiest route.

There was so much more to Ryan than his profession, and that's what made her choice so difficult. She'd seen many facets to his personality, and beneath the charm and flirtatious manner was a good, kind, caring man. One who enjoyed his family and friends, but ultimately loved his job.

She shook her head in answer to his question, and tried to explain. 'No, it's not because you're a divorce attorney, but your career, your ambition and drive, don't leave much room in your life for a committed relationship.' The stable, secure kind of relationship she needed.

'How do youknow that?'

The challenge was unmistakable, and she couldn't help but think of what a formidable opponent he'd be in the courtroom. 'I've seen your dedication to your job. I know where you're heading in your firm, and what it's going to take to get there. Long hours. Personal sacrifices. Possibly no extra time to nurture a new relationship. Can you deny that?'

He stared at her for a long, hard moment, then exhaled a harsh breath. 'No, I can't deny any of that, but I'm willing to find some kind of balance.'

'Well, I can't risk that you might not be able to find that balance, that your goals won't mesh with what I need from a relationship, and that you'll decide after a few months or a year that it's so much easier and simpler remaining single and unattached. Which brings us back to ending our relationship now, before things get any more complicated.'

'I love you, Jessica,' he said, frustration and tenderness mingling in his voice. 'That's about as complicated as it gets.'

Her knees nearly buckled at the declaration, made in the light of morning. She didn't doubt his sincerity, not for one second, but the emotional blackmail was excruciating. 'I know you do.'

He shook his head in confusion. 'Doesn't that mean anything to you?'

She couldn't answer him, because his love meant too much. Rejecting it was the most difficult thing she'd ever had to do.

A low, frustrated sound erupted from his chest, and he spun around and paced to the other side of the small living room. Then he abruptly stopped and turned back to face her. 'I get it now,' he said, a dawning realization touching his features. 'You're leavingme before I can leaveyou, aren't you?'

Her heart thudded in her chest, and she moved away from the door, but kept her distance from Ryan. 'I have no idea what you're talking about.'

'Don't you?' A dark brow winged upward. 'I'm talking about the fact that you're scared I'll leave you at some point in our relationship, so you're doing it first. It's easier for you not to invest your emotions and not to believe what I feel for you is real, than to trust that I won't hurt you.'

She bristled defensively. 'You can't make that kind of promise.'

'Can anyone?' he countered. He waited a tension-filled minute for her to answer. Then he smiled grimly. 'Judging by your silence, I'm taking it that you agree the answer is no. Which means that although you're afraid of being abandoned and alone, that's exactly where you'll stay, because no man will be able to make you that promise. The only guarantee I can give you is how I feel about you. The rest is up to you to trust me.'

Despite loving him, she wasn't sure she had the strength and emotional fortitude to put her faith in his hands. Doubts and uncertainties overwhelmed her, tugging her in two different directions. Hot, scalding tears burned her eyes, and she valiantly blinked them back. She pressed her fingers to her trembling lips and turned away so he wouldn't witness her insecurities, even though he knew every single one of them.

A long moment passed, and she flinched when she heard the front door open then close behind Ryan, leaving her completely and utterly alone. The quiet and solitude wrapping around her was absolute, more so than it had