Flashback

Oz said, “As enjoyable as literary criticism connected to your name is, Mr. Bottom, I imagine you want to ask me a few questions.”

“Just a few,” said Nick, realizing that his hand was already on the butt of the pistol under his loose shirt. It took an effort to relax his grip and bring the sweaty hand back up to the table. “Mostly I just wanted to see if you remembered anything else about the interview with Keigo Nakamura.”

Oz shook his head. “Totally banal… both the questions and my answers, I mean. Young Mr. Nakamura was interested in us… in me… in all of the Israeli refugees here, only in terms of our flashback use.”

“And you told him that you did use flashback,” said Nick.

Oz nodded. “One thing I was curious about six years ago but was too nervous to ask about, Mr. Bottom. You questioned all of us who’d been interviewed by Keigo Nakamura in his last days with a focus on what questions he’d asked in the interviews. Why didn’t you just view the video he shot? Or were you testing our memory for some reason? Or our honesty?”

“The camera and memory chips were stolen when Keigo Nakamura was murdered that night,” said Nick. “Other than some scribbled prep notes and the memory of some of his assistants, we had no idea what questions he asked you and the others in the final four days of interviews.”

“Ah,” said Oz. “That makes sense. You know, one thing that Keigo Nakamura asked me that I don’t believe I remembered in the police interviews years ago… it just came to me recently… he asked me if I would use F- two.”

“F-two?” said Nick, shocked. “Did he act as if he thought it was real?”

“That’s the strange thing, Mr. Bottom,” said Oz. “He did.”

F-two, Flashback-two, had been a rumor for more than a decade now. It was supposed to be an improvement on the drug flashback where one could not only relive one’s actual past, but live fantasy alternatives to one’s past reality. Those who kept insisting that the drug would appear on the streets any day now, and who had insisted this for almost fifteen years, said that F-two was a mixture of regular flashback and a complex hallucinogenic drug that keyed on endorphins, so the F-two fantasies would always be pleasurable, never nightmares. One would never feel pain in an F-two dream.

F-two believers compared the mythical drug to splicing an existing film—or editing video with special digital effects—so that the memories currently available to be relived through all one’s senses via flashback would be a sort of raw material for happy dreams with all of the sight, smell, taste, and touch of flashback, but directed by one’s fantasies. Until Nick had realized that F-two really was a myth, that it had never appeared on the street anywhere in the world, he’d imagined using it himself so that he could not only relive his past with Dara but live a new, imagination-structured future with her.

“What’d you tell Keigo when he asked?” said Nick.

“I said that I didn’t believe there ever was going to be a drug like F-two,” said Oz, inhaling deeply as he smoked, holding the smoke in, and exhaling almost regretfully. “And I told him that if there were such a drug in the future, I almost certainly wouldn’t use it, since I produced enough fantasies in my own mind. I told him that I used flashback to remember a single memory… over and over.” The poet’s cigarette was mostly ash now. “You might say that I’m obsessive.”

“Do you still use flashback?” asked Nick. He knew the answer, but he was curious if Oz would admit to it.

The poet laughed. “Oh, yes, Mr. Bottom. More than ever. I spend at least eight hours a day under the flash these days. I’ll probably be flashing when this prostate cancer finally kills me.”

Where do you get all the fucking money for the drugs? was Nick’s thought. But instead of asking that, he nodded and said, “In the interview six years ago, I don’t believe you told me what you were flashing on. You said that Keigo hadn’t asked you… although I would have thought that this would have been his focus with all flashback users.”

“He didn’t ask me,” said Oz. “Which was decidedly odd. But then it was odd that he chose me to interview at all.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because, as you know, Keigo Nakamura was making a video documentary about Americans’ use of flashback. His entire theme and central metaphor were about the decline of a once-great culture that had turned its face away from the future and sunken into obsession with its own past—with three hundred and forty million individual pasts. But I’m not an American, Mr. Bottom. I’m Israeli. Or was.”

This question of why Keigo had chosen to talk to Oz hadn’t come up in the interview and Nick didn’t know if it was important or not. But it was definitely odd.

“So what do you flash on, Mr. Oz?”

The poet lit a new cigarette from the butt of the last and ground the dying one out. “I lost all of my extended family in the attack, Mr. Bottom. Both my parents were still alive. Two brothers and two sisters. All married. All with families. My young second wife and our young boy and girl—David was six, Rebecca eight. My ex-wife, Leah, with whom I was on good terms, and our twenty-one-year-old son Lev. All gone in twenty minutes of nuclear fire or murdered later by the Arab invaders in their cheap Russian-made radiation suits.”

“So you flash to spend time with them all,” Nick said wearily. He was supposed to go to Boulder later this afternoon for the interview with Derek Dean at Naropa, but right now he didn’t have the energy to drive that far, much less do another interview.

“Never,” said Danny Oz.

Nick sat up and raised an eyebrow.

Oz smiled with almost infinite sadness and flicked ashes. “I’ve never once used the drug to go back to my family.”

“What then? What do you flash on, Mr. Oz?” Nick should have added an If you don’t mind me asking or some such polite phrase, but he’d forgotten that he was no longer a cop. That forgetting hadn’t happened for a while.

“The day of the attack,” said Danny Oz. “I replay the day my country died over and over and over. Every day of my life. Every time I go under the flash.”

Nick must have shown his skepticism.

Oz nodded as if he agreed with the skepticism and said, “I was with an archaeologist friend at a site in southern Israel called Tel Be’er Sheva. It was believed to be the remains of the biblical town Be’er Sheva or Beersheba.”

Nick had never heard of it, but then he hadn’t read anything from the Bible for thirty years or more and knew very little about the geography. There was no longer any reason to know the geography of that dead zone.

“Tel Be’er Sheva was just north of the Havat MaShash Experimental Agricultural Farm,” said Oz.

Nick had certainly heard of that. Havat MaShash Experimental Agricultural Farm, everyone had learned after the destruction of Israel, had been the cover location for an underground Israeli biowar lab where the aerosol drug now called flashback had been developed and mass-produced. Evidently forms of the original drug had been a neurological experiment to be used for interrogations. It had escaped the Havat MaShash lab and was being sold in Europe and elsewhere in the Mideast months before the destruction of Israel.

Nick mentioned this coincidence of geography.

The poet Danny Oz shook his head. “I don’t think there was any biolab there, Mr. Bottom. I’d spent years with my archaeologist friends in that region. I had other friends who worked on and who helped administrate the real Havat MaShash Agricultural Farm. There was no secret underground installation. They just worked on agricultural stuff—the closest they probably ever came to a secret drug were the chemicals they used in improving pesticides so they wouldn’t harm the environment.”

Nick shrugged. Let Oz deny it if he wanted to. After the bombs fell, everyone knew that flashback had originated at the Havat MaShash biological warfare lab. Some felt that the nuclear attack had been, at least in part, a punishment for letting that drug escape, be copied, and sold.

Nick didn’t care one way or the other.

“What was a poet doing at an archaeological site?” he asked. Nick felt in his sport coat pocket for the small notebook he’d carried all his years as a detective, but it wasn’t there.