here because he got into some shit. But that’s like jumping from a train after flies. Can you imagine? You throw away everything you have—every last thing—and get out at the first stop.”
“And?” Veltsev propped himself up on one elbow.
“And, well, that’s it, all done.” Lana crushed her cigarette butt in the saucer, lowered her legs from the chair, went out into the front hall, and came back with a photograph, which she tossed down next to him on the bed.
In the crumpled glossy snapshot Veltsev saw a smiling Southern face with a unibrow. The photo had been taken with a flash, close-up, practically point-blank. The face had come out fuzzy, overlit; but above and behind him the little man hanging from the chandelier was etched down to the last detail. On the back of the photo, carefully, like a monogram, a capital
“What’s up with you?” Lana asked.
Slowly, not quite realizing what he was doing, he got out his wallet, opened it, and looked at its velvety layered insides.
“What’s up with you?” Lana repeated, coming closer.
Veltsev put his wallet away and stared at the floor again. The photograph had reminded him of something important that he’d lost sight of and burned the pit of his stomach, but nothing more specific, so that the next instant he couldn’t even say what exactly had made itself felt—a thing, a memory, a presentiment … ?
Lana picked up the photo, blew on it, and stuck it in the glass of the sideboard.
“Want some tea?” she asked, standing in the door. “Or maybe …”
Veltsev lay down again. “You do your thing there for now.
Turn off the light. I have to … just …”
“Crash, I know,” Lana finished for him, slapped the light switch, and shut herself up in the kitchen.
Collapsing on one elbow, Veltsev lit up and stretched out again. He held the cigarette in an outstretched hand, so the ashes would fall on the floor, and with the other fiddled with his lighter. Soon, he heard an amused muffled voice from the kitchen; Lana was talking on the phone. Veltsev tried to remember the girl’s clumsily made- up face, but instead he envisioned her sweet knee poking out from her robe.
A long time ago, about three years before, he’d come across an article on the Internet which tried to prove that a man’s disposition toward murder and women had their source in the same neurosis—which one exactly, Veltsev never did figure out, though he read the article twice. He was grateful to the author not for his murky verbiage but for the fact that a connection between his inclination for murder and his attraction to women had at least been given some kind of acknowledgment. That is, what he had previously considered something unique to him and had thought of as shameful, like a wet dream, had instantly stopped being either unique or unseemly. After his first contract, he languished a full day, sleepless, and then confessed at the Rozhdestvensky monastery. This act had no consequences for his soul’s salvation, but it had plenty of material results. On the way back from the monastery Veltsev fell asleep at the wheel and rolled his car. His first wife was a medical student who happened to be starting her residency that day at the Sklif. More in the dorm than the Sklif ER, she got Veltsev back on his feet. The next morning it was as if he’d woken up in a new world, and just one week later—with a light heart and even, really, a sense of selfless beneficence—he shot the drunk from Tula who’d been pestering her. He and Oksana got on like a house on fire for two and a half years, and Veltsev called what he brought home as his supposed pay as a personnel inspector for a private security agency their “family income.” Sex (not with any woman, of course, but with the one he considered
His second marriage, the marriage of Veltsev and Dasha, who did not love him, lasted longer, strangely enough, nearly four years, but fell apart overnight—flew apart in sprays of blood yesterday, at dawn, when, tipped off by an anonymous text message, Veltsev shot the traitor, her lover and his “employer,” Mityai, both of Mityai’s gorillas, Repa and Jack, and the couple sitting on the far side of the screen behind their table. Veltsev had had a bad feeling about this in the fall when he came back from a business trip to St. Petersburg. Dasha, previously willful and hot-tempered, had suddenly softened and become compliant and pleasant. The change in her behavior could have been considered a good sign had it not been simultaneously a sign of infidelity, which destroyed the only thing that tied Veltsev to his wife—the all-renewing and all-forgiving quality of their intimacy. It was amazing, but up until yesterday’s disaster he had laid the blame for the fact that he had ceased to perceive Dasha as
“Don’t hide. I can see you,” he sighed, crushing out his butt on the windowsill. “Come on out.”
The kitchen door, which had been opened just a crack so she could peek through, was flung open, and Lana walked right up to Veltsev. She wasn’t wearing the skullcap anymore and the clown makeup had been wiped clean, and in the thick shadow between the freely swinging sides of her untied robe he saw white, not of her clinging panties but her naked body. Slipping his hand under the robe, Veltsev felt her warm skin, which his touch covered in goose bumps. Lana leaned into him.
“Have you decided to tempt me?” Veltsev asked.
“I misled you,” she said.
“About what?”
“I … well, I’m not, I didn’t have plastic surgery.”
“So?”
Her belly tensed under his fingers. “You won’t laugh?”
Veltsev coughed thoughtfully. “Wait … You, that is, you mean you really are a virgin?”
Lana covered his hand with hers.
“Would you like to check?”
He didn’t say anything but neither did he take his hand away. Lana froze and stared at him, as if waiting for him to blink. Veltsev held her gaze, but the second the girl touched his zipper, he grabbed her wrist. Lana’s arm was so thin and frail he figured he was hurting her, though she didn’t think to stop him, let alone take offense. So, with one hand, she opened his fly, jerked his pants down over his hips, pulled down his underpants, took his prick, and stroked it, spellbound. For a minute, maybe more, they didn’t move, coalesced in a silent scene. Lana studied and fingered his quickly swelling manhood, and Veltsev, not thinking anything, kept holding her arm. Then she climbed on the bed and kneeled so that she was squeezing him between her thighs. The movements of her fingers, up until now cautious and even fearful, became brusquer by increments. Carried away, she began entertaining herself with the sensitivity of his flesh, as if it were a toy, and didn’t seem to notice when she scratched the tip with her nail. Gasping from pain, Veltsev crushed her small breast. “Now you …” she said, and let him go. Squeezing the burning spot with one hand, Veltsev caressed Lana with the other—just to distract her. “Not like that,” she sighed with annoyance. She hopped down and went to the sideboard and started digging around. Taking advantage of the break, Veltsev took his gun out of his holster, put it into his coat pocket, and slipped out of his heavy shirt. Lana came back with a jar of a fragrant ointment and mounted him again. With the cordiality of a hostess, generously, she rubbed it on his prick, as if it were a sandwich, guided it between her legs, and peered at Veltsev. He lingered a moment and didn’t press hard. Lana shrugged off her robe and tossed it aside. Seeing she was hurt and scared, Veltsev kept pressing—not leaning into her but pulling her toward him by the hips—softly, slowly, with the feeling that something awful was about to happen. But it didn’t, and Lana made no sound. It took a moment for Veltsev to
