Madame Lulu is so poor. The caravan of mine has leaky roof, and Madame Lulu needs money, please, to do repairs.'
'I've told you before,' Olaf said, 'once we get the Baudelaire fortune, the carnival will have plenty of money.'
'You said that about Quagmire fortune, my Olaf,' Madame Lulu said, 'and about Snicket fortune. But never a penny does Madame Lulu see. We must think, please, of something to make Caligari Carnival more popular. Madame Lulu was hoping that troupe of my Olaf could put on a big show like
'The boss can't get up on stage,' the bald man said. 'Planning schemes is a full-time job.'
'Besides,' Esmй said, 'I've retired from show business. All I want to be now is Count Olaf's girlfriend.'
There was a silence, and the only thing the Baudelaires could hear from Lulu's caravan was the crunch of someone chewing on chicken bones. Then there was a long sigh, and Lulu spoke very quietly. 'You did not tell me, my Olaf, that Esmй was the girlfriend of you. Perhaps Madame Lulu will not let you and troupe stay at the carnival of mine.'
'Now, now, Lulu,' Count Olaf said, and the children shivered as they eavesdropped. Olaf was talking in a tone of voice the Baudelaires had heard many times, when he was trying to fool someone into thinking he was a kind and decent person. Even with the curtains closed, the Baudelaires could tell that he was giving Madame Lulu a toothy grin, and that his eyes were shining brightly beneath his one eyebrow, as if he were about to tell a joke. 'Did I ever tell you how I began my career as an actor?'
'It's a fascinating story,' the hook-handed man said.
'It certainly is,' Olaf agreed. 'Give me some more wine, and I'll tell you. Now then, as a child, I was always the most handsome fellow at school, and one day a young director . . .'
The Baudelaires had heard enough. The three children had spent enough time with the villain to know that once he began talking about himself, he continued until the cows came home, a phrase which here means 'until there was no more wine,' and they tiptoed away from Madame Lulu's caravan and back toward Count Olaf's car so they could talk without being overheard. In the dark of night, the long, black automobile looked like an enormous hole, and the children felt as if they were about to fall into it as they tried to decide what to do.
'I guess we should leave,' Klaus said uncertainly. 'It's definitely not safe around here, but I don't know where we can go in the hinterlands. There's nothing for miles and miles but wilderness, and we could die of thirst, or be attacked by wild animals.'
Violet looked around quickly, as if something were about to attack them that very moment, but the only wild animal in view was the painted lion on the carnival sign. 'Even if we found someone else out there,' she said, 'they'd probably think we were murderers and call the police. Also, Madame Lulu promised to answer all of Olaf's questions tomorrow morning.'
'You don't think Madame Lulu's crystal ball really works, do you?' Klaus asked. 'I've never read any evidence that fortune-telling is real.'
'But Madame Lulu keeps telling Count Olaf where we are,' Violet pointed out. 'She must be getting her information from someplace. If she can really find out the location of the Snicket file, or learn if one of our parents is alive . . .'
Her voice trailed off, but she did not need to finish her sentence. All three Baudelaires knew that finding out if someone survived the fire was worth the risk of staying nearby.
'Sandover,' Sunny said, which meant 'So we're staying.'
'We should at least stay the night,' Klaus agreed. 'But where can we hide? If we don't stay out of sight, someone is likely to recognize us.'
'Karneez?' Sunny asked.
'The people in those caravans work for Madame Lulu,' Klaus said. 'Who knows if they'd help us or not?'
'I have an idea,' Violet said, and walked over to the back of Count Olaf's car. With a
'Nuts!' Sunny said, which meant 'I don't think that's such a good idea, Violet.'
'Sunny's right,' Klaus said. 'Olaf and his henchmen might come back any minute to unpack the trunk. We can't hide in there.'
'We're not going to hide in there,' Violet said. 'We're not going to hide at all. After all, Olaf and his troupe never hide, and they manage not to be recognized. We're going to disguise ourselves.'
'Gabrowha?' Sunny asked.
'Why wouldn't it work?' Violet replied. 'Olaf wears these disguises and he manages to fool everyone. If we fool Madame Lulu into thinking we're somebody else, we can stay around and find the answers to our questions.'
'It seems risky,' Klaus said, 'but I suppose
'It's just as risky as trying to hide someplace. Who should we pretend to be?'
'Let's look through the disguises,' Violet said, 'and see if we get any ideas.'
'We'll have to feel through them,' Klaus said. 'It's too dark to look through anything.'
The Baudelaires stood in front of the open trunk and reached inside to begin their search. As I'm sure you know, whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things about the person of which you were not previously aware. You might examine some letters your sister received recently, for instance, and learn that she was planning on running away with an archduke. You might examine the suitcases of another passenger on a train you are taking, and learn that he had been secretly photographing you for the past six months. I recently looked in the refrigerator of one of my enemies and learned she was a vegetarian, or at least pretending to be one, or had a vegetarian visiting her for a few days. And the Baudelaire orphans examined some of the objects in Olaf's trunk, they learned a great deal of unpleasant things. Violet found part of a brass lamp she remembered from living with Uncle Monty, and learned that Olaf had stolen from her poor guardian, in addition to murdering him. Klaus found a large shopping bag from the In Boutique, and learned that Esmй Squalor was just as obsessed with fashionable clothing as she ever was. And Sunny found a pair of pantyhose covered in sawdust, and learned that Olaf had not washed his receptionist disguise since he had used it last. But the most dismaying thing the children learned from searching the trunk of Olaf's car was just how many disguises he had at his disposal. They found the hat Olaf used to disguise himself as a ship captain, and the razor he had probably used to shave his head in order to resemble a lab assistant. They found the expensive running shoes he had worn to disguise himself as a gym teacher, and the plastic ones he had used when he was pretending to be a detective. But the siblings also found plenty of costumes they had never seen before, and it seemed as though Olaf could keep on disguising himself forever, following the Baudelaires to location after location, always appearing with a new identity and never getting caught.
'We could disguise ourselves as almost anybody,' Violet said. 'Look, here's a wig that makes me look like a clown, and here's one that makes me look like a judge.'
'I know,' Klaus said, holding up a large box with several drawers. 'This appears to be a makeup kit, complete with fake mustaches, fake eyebrows, and even a pair of glass eyes.'
'Twicho!' Sunny said, holding up a long white veil.
'No, thank you,' Violet said. 'I already had to wear that veil once, when Olaf nearly married me. I'd rather not wear it again. Besides, what would a bride be doing wandering around the hinterlands?'
'Look at this long robe,' Klaus said. 'It looks like something a rabbi would wear, but I don't know if Madame Lulu would believe that a rabbi would visit her in the middle of the night.'
'Ginawn!' Sunny said, using her teeth to wrap a pair of sweatpants around her. The youngest Baudelaire meant something like, 'All these clothes are too big for me,' and she was right.
'That's even bigger than that pinstripe suit Esmй bought you,' Klaus said, helping his sister get disentangled. 'No one would believe that a pair of sweatpants was walking around a carnival by itself.'
'All these clothes are too big,' Violet said. 'Look at this beige coat. If I tried to disguise myself in it, I'd only look freakish.'
'Freakish!' Klaus said. 'That's it!'
'Whazit?' Sunny asked.
'Madame Lulu said that she didn't have enough freaks in the House of Freaks. If we find disguises that make us look freakish, and tell Lulu that we're looking for work, she might hire us as part of the carnival.'
