firing the engine precisely on time for the long burn that had launched them on their journey to Mercury.
There was something else however, deep inside Clare, something that seemed to gnaw at her spirit. He guessed it some issue related to her previous suspension. Whatever it was, Matt hoped that the mission would bring some respite.
With a strange, sinking feeling, he realised that he could have applied the same sentiment to himself. He wondered what he would find in the mine, and whether it would bring him any closer to closure – or just more unanswered questions.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Later, Matt was using the rowing machine in the small gym area, situated in the curve of wall next to the bathroom on the command deck. Abrams was seated at the flight deck, taking his turn on duty.
Even in the twenty-second century, there was no way round the need for strenuous daily exercise to reduce bone loss in low gravity. Everyone on board had to spend their allotted time in the gym, doing a variety of exercises. If a urine test showed that they were losing too much calcium, the exercise programme had to be increased.
It was mind-numbingly tedious; endless sets and repetitions on the equipment, and kilometres of going nowhere on the exercise bike and rowing machine, but they had to do it; none of them could risk a bone fracture when they were on Mercury.
The curved viewscreen on the wall of the gym area could show movies and news broadcasts to help alleviate the boredom, but Matt had seen enough of the news today, and the viewscreen showed a tranquil river scene that moved past as he rowed.
The rowing machine beeped, indicating that he was coming to the end of the set course, and could start slowing down. The air-conditioning duct was right above him, and it provided a welcome breeze as the machine’s resistance setting lowered, allowing Matt to maintain a steady action as he cooled down.
He was looking forward to a shower. One of the luxuries afforded by the tug’s rotational gravity was a proper shower, and Matt intended to make as much use of it while he could. Later in the voyage, when the tug’s rotation was halted, they would have to go back to using moist towels again; the environmental systems couldn’t cope with the thousands of floating water droplets that showers created in zero gravity.
The machine gave a double beep, and displayed the amount of work that he had done today. Matt released the handle of the machine with relief and sat back, letting the cool breeze run over his body.
He heard someone coming down the ladder in the centre of the command deck as he got off the machine. He flung a towel round his neck and raised a hand as Clare came into view. She looked up briefly and nodded, but continued downward, into the airlock and docking adapter that led to the spaceplane. Matt guessed that she was having trouble sleeping again, and was heading for the spaceplane cockpit, which was a good place if you wanted some privacy and some quiet.
She looked up again. Her eyes met Matt’s, and she held his gaze for a fraction longer than was necessary before she disappeared from view.
Matt didn’t know quite how it started, but he had begun to spend time with Clare. It wasn’t a regular thing, just something that they had grown into when they were both off duty. He was very careful not to intrude; privacy on a long flight was too important to take lightly, but she seemed to welcome his presence, especially when she couldn’t sleep.
He left a good half an hour before he followed her down the ladder. The spaceplane cockpit had become her favourite retreat of late, and by unspoken consent was her territory; she was the captain after all.
The ladder led down, through the tug’s docking adapter, where four airlocks opened into a central space, and through the opening of the spaceplane’s docking mechanism. A narrow tube, with steps recessed into the walls, then led underneath the flight deck. A featureless space, and cold; the tug’s warmth never seemed to be able to penetrate here.
Matt emerged towards the rear of the spaceplane’s crew compartment, from an opening in what had been the floor of the cabin. Because of the tug’s rotation, the cabin appeared to be stood on its rear end, rising up above Matt, with the seats fixed to a vertical wall.
Music played quietly in the background, something classical that Matt didn’t recognise.
‘Hey,’ he said in a soft voice, just loud enough to be heard above the music.
For a moment, he thought she had fallen asleep, but then Clare turned in her seat high above and looked down at him, her face lit by the soft glow of the cockpit displays. She had been reading; a paperback book was open in her hand.
‘Mind if I come up?’
‘Sure.’ Clare put her book down, and reached up to the cockpit console. The music stopped.
Matt climbed up the length of the cabin, using the built-in steps in the sides of the seats, until he was at the front. He flopped into the copilot’s seat. The spaceplane was running in flight idle mode, and most of the displays were dark, but a few of them showed the status of various systems, and a copy of the tug’s flight display.
Clare looked at him quizzically, but there was a smile behind her eyes. She had been hoping that he would come and join her.
‘So.’
‘So – are we there yet?’ Matt grinned.
Clare smiled, and for answer pointed at one of the cockpit displays, which showed the tug’s in-transit trajectory. A tiny icon of the ship followed a faint white line against the stars, accompanied by strings of figures showing course, velocity and other data.
She zoomed the display out, to show the white trajectory line intercepting the orbit of Mercury, and pointed at the figure showing orbit insertion in 87 day’s time. She looked back at Matt.
‘Couldn’t sleep?’ Matt asked.
‘Couldn’t sleep.’ She lay back in her seat and shook her head slowly. ‘My Mother always told me that if I couldn’t get to sleep, I should read a book until I did. I guess she’d never been in a spacecraft.’
‘Mine just told me to go back upstairs, or else.’
Clare smiled again.
‘I can’t imagine you as a child,’ she said after a pause. ‘I’ve only ever seen you in meetings, or in training, taking things seriously. Don’t you lighten up at all?’
Matt’s mouth opened in surprise, and his expression was so comical that Clare laughed. For a moment, Matt stared back at her, then his face relaxed, and he fell into laughter himself. He lay back in his seat.
‘I suppose – I’ve been thinking too much about the mission. About going into the mine again. It’s all I’ve thought about for the last few months.’
Clare nodded. Her work would be halfway complete once she had delivered the mission team to Mercury, but Matt’s troubles would then just be beginning.
‘What are you most afraid of?’ she asked suddenly.
‘What?’
‘What are you most afraid of? When you get into the mine?’
Matt thought a moment, staring upwards, looking at the cockpit displays.
‘I guess it’s coming across the bodies – in the dark, without any warning. I know we’ll come across them sooner or later, but the thought of just turning a corner and seeing them there, that’s scary.’
‘I thought you said, way back when we first met – I thought you said you needed to see them?’
‘I did. I do. I need to see them, and I’m – afraid of seeing them.’ He sighed. ‘You asked.’
‘I did.’
‘How about yourself. What are you afraid of?’
Clare glanced back at Matt.
‘Failure.’ She said it in a matter-of-fact voice, as if it was something he should have known.
‘The mission’s gone like clockwork so far. You’re not going to fail.’
‘You have no—’ she started, then just shook her head. A wisp of hair fell across one eye.
‘No what?’
