'Huh!' says he, 'it's you. You're hame.' And he muttered something about another mouth to feed.
I gripped my temper as I gave my coat to Oswald, bade him good afternoon, and asked if Elspeth was at home.
'Oh, aye,' says he, looking me over sourly. 'She'll be glad tae see ye, nae doot. Ye're thinner,' he added, with some satisfaction. 'I take it Germany didnae agree wi' ye—if that's where ye've been.'
'Yes, it's where I've been,' says I. 'Where's Elspeth?'
'Oh, in the drawin'-room—takin' tea wi' her friends, I suppose. We have all the fashionable habits in this hoose—includin' your ain faither's intemperance.'
'He's well again?' I asked, and Oswald informed me that he was upstairs, lying down.
'His accustomed position,' says old Morrison. 'Weel, ye'd better go up, sir, and be reunited wi' the wife ye'll have been yearning for. If ye make haste ye'll be in time for tea, from her fine new silver service—aye, a' the luxuries o' the Saltmarket.' And to the sound of his whining I ran upstairs and into the drawing-rooni, feeling that tightness in my chest that I always felt when I was coming back again to Elspeth.
She gave a little cry at the sight of me, and rose, smiling, from behind the tray from which she had been dispensing tea to the females who were sitting about, all bonnets and gentility. She looked radiantly stupid, as ever, with her blonde hair done a different way, in ringlets that framed her cheeks.
'Oh, Harry!' She came forward, and stopped. 'Why—Harry! Whatever have you done to your head?'
I should have expected that, of course, and kept my hat on, or worn a wig, or anything to prevent the repetition of that damfool question. Oh, well, I was home again, and in one piece, and Elspeth was holding out her hands and smiling and asking:
'What did you bring me from Germany, Harry?'
(
APPENDIX I: THE PRISONER OF ZENDA
Whether Flashman's real-life experiences in Germany provided Anthony Hope with the basis of his famous romance,
APPENDIX II: LOLA MONTEZ
Although several of the notes following this appendix refer to Lola Montez, she deserves fuller mention than can be conveniently included there. She was, after all, one of the most remarkable adventuresses in history, with an intellect and personality to match her looks; for these gifts, rather than her capacity for scandalous behaviour, she is worth remembering.
Her real name was Marie Dolores Eliza Rosanna Gilbert, and she was born in Limerick in 1818, the daughter of a British Army officer. He was probably Scottish; her mother was part-Spanish, and Lola was brought up in India, in Scotland, and on the continent. When she was 18 she ran off with a Captain James, and after living in India, returned to England in 1841. She seems to have begun on her long succession of lovers while still in her 'teens, and James divorced her in 1842. Her career as a Spanish dancer followed, and after a series of Continental appearances, lovers, and scandals, she became the mistress of Ludwig of Bavaria. It has been suggested that his interest in her was purely intellectual; that is a matter of opinion. What is not to be doubted is that she was the ruler of Bavaria— and there have been worse governors of nations—until the revolution of 1848 forced her to leave the country. She later went to America, where she lectured on such subjects as beauty and fashion, and died in New York in 1861, when she was only 43.
Apart from Captain James she had two other husbands, a young officer named Heald, who died, and a San Francisco editor, Patrick Hall, who divorced her.
This is the briefest outline of her short life; there is no room to include all the lovers, real and reputed (apart from those mentioned by Flashman, gossip included even Lord Palmerston), or the endless catalogue of scandals, scenes, escapes, and triumphs. These can be found in her biographies, of which
Flashman's account of Lola's behaviour, and his assessment of her character, seem both authentic and fair. His enthusiasm for her looks and personality were generally shared (even by his old Indian acquaintance, the Hon. Emily Eden); there is ample evidence of her promiscuity, her optimistic cheerfulness, her sudden furious rages, and her tendency to physical violence—the men she horse-whipped included a Berlin policeman, the boots of a Munich hotel, and the editor of the
NOTES
1 The Minor St James Club may have been new to Flashman in 1842, but it was notorious to fashionable London. Its proprietor, a Mr Bond, was successfully sued in that year by a disgruntled punter who received ?3500 in respect of his losses. (See L. J. Ludovici's
2 Mr Wilson's performances were a great success all over England, especially with exiled Scots like Mrs Flashman. His repertoire included 'A Nicht wi' Burns', and a lecture on the '45 Rebellion, as well as popular songs. He died during a tour of the United States.
3 Horse-drawn omnibuses had been running in London since Flashman was a small boy; possibly he is referring to a new service. Their con ductors, or 'cads', had a reputation for violence and obscenity which lingers in the word to this day.
4 Raiding of gambling-hells was common after the Police Act of 1839, which permitted forced entry. Flashman's observations on the proprietors' precautions and their right to sue the police are accurate. (See Ludovici.)
5 Hughes' passing reference to Speedicut certainly brackets him with Flashman, and can therefore be taken to be highly uncomplimentary. Flashman shows him in a new light, which prompts the thought that Speedicut may have been one (or both) of the anonymous companions in 'Tom Brown' who spared the fags in the blanket-tossing episode and was later in favour of only partially roasting Tom before the fire.
6 The 'barbed wire' comparison must have occurred to Flashman at some later date; it was not in common use before the 1870's.
7 Nick Ward claimed the championship of England after beating Deaf James Burke in September, 1840, and Ben Caunt in February, 1841. He lost a return bout with Caunt three months later.
8 The second Marquis of Conyngham was among the victims fleeced at Mr Bond's Minor Club; he lost at least ?500 on two occasions in 1842.
9 Flashman's description of Bismarck evokes a different picture from the popular impression of the Iron Chancellor, but it tallies with those details of his early life which biographers seldom dwell on at length. Bismarck's taste for playful violence, his boorish conduct in public places, his whoring, carousing, and riotous behaviour (the habit of firing a pistol into the ceiling to announce his arrival to friends, for example), and his 25 duels in his first term at Gottingen, all testify to a nature not invariably statesmanlike. He appears, in fact, to have been an unpleasant young man, brilliant beyond his years but given to cynicism and arrogance. He was as tall, strong, and handsome as Flashman remembers him, with blond-red hair and an aristocratic bearing.
As to his presence in London in 1842, he did indeed travel extensively in Britain that year, and was rebuked for whistling in the streets of Leith on a Sunday. He is said to have liked the British; his affection encompassed at least one beautiful English girl, Laura Russell, with whom he had been infatuated some years earlier, but who had broken their engagement to marry an older man. Possibly this prejudiced him in later life.
10 Peel's introduction in 1842 of an income tax of 7d in the pound on all incomes above ?150 was regarded as iniquitous. Lord Brougham argued (with what effect we all know) that 'such a tax ought on no account to form a part of the ordinary revenue … but should cease with the necessity which alone could justify
