Wife 22

at me, we took off, and he didn’t say a word for the entire run. I, on the other hand, didn’t shut up-at least in my head. Asics, huh; must have wide feet. Why isn’t he talking? Does he hate me? Are we doing something wrong? Am I supposed to pretend we’re not running together? Why doesn’t he run with Helen? Helen of Troy? What is he listening to? Is this a date? Jesus, he’s cute. What kind of game is he playing? He smells like Coast soap. Are my thighs jiggling? Yep, he just touched my breast with his elbow accidentally. Does he know it was my breast? Was it on purpose? Why isn’t he saying anything? Well, screw him, I’m not saying anything either.

We ran five miles in forty-one minutes. When we got back to Peavey Patterson he nodded once more, then went left, to the executive washroom. I turned right, to the employee bathroom. When I got back to my desk, my hair stuck up in a messy, limp ponytail, there was an email waiting for me. You run fast.

32. That if we weren’t careful, it was possible to forget one another.

22

From: Wife 22 ‹[email protected]›

Subject: Hello

Date: May 20, 11:50 AM

To: researcher101 ‹[email protected]›

Researcher 101,

Sorry it took so long to get back to you. Things haven’t been great between my husband and me, which makes it hard to answer the questions. Especially the ones about us falling in love.

All the best,

Wife 22

From: researcher101 ‹[email protected]›

Subject: Re: Hello

Date: May 20, 11:53 AM

To: Wife 22 ‹[email protected]›

Wife 22,

That’s completely understandable given the circumstances, although I have to say you do a wonderful job with the questions. You seem to remember all the details, which, come to think of it, may have something to do with the difficulty you’re experiencing. You recall your past so vividly. When I read your #31 I almost felt like I was there. I’m curious. Are you able to experience the present with the same sort of attention to detail?

I hope things have improved with your husband’s job situation.

Sincerely,

Researcher 101

From: Wife 22 ‹[email protected]›

Subject: Re: Hello

Date: May 20, 11:55 AM

To: researcher101 ‹[email protected]›

Researcher 101,

I’m not sure they’ve improved, but at least I’ve cut down the time I spend in the grocery store trying to choose between Minute Maid or Tropicana. Now I just grab the SunnyD. And no, I am not capable of experiencing the present with the same sort of attention to detail. But once the present becomes the past I seem to have no problem attending to it obsessively.:)

Wife 22

From: researcher101 ‹[email protected]›

Subject: Re: Hello

Date: May 20, 11:57 AM

To: Wife 22 ‹[email protected]›

Wife 22,

What ever happened to Tang?

Researcher 101

From: Wife 22 ‹[email protected]›

Subject: Re: Hello

Date: May 20, 12:01 PM

To: researcher101 ‹[email protected]›

Researcher 101,

You know, I can’t help playing “what if” right now. What if I had been a biker, not a runner? What if William had married Helen of Troy instead of me?

Sincerely,

Wife 22

From: researcher101 ‹[email protected]›

Subject: Re: Hello

Date: May 21, 1:42 PM

To: Wife 22 ‹[email protected]›

Wife 22,

In my experience “what if” is a very dangerous game.

All the best,

Researcher 101

23

I’m sitting on a bench, my phone in my hand, while a hundred or so children run circles around me. I’m on recess duty. Some of the teachers hate recess duty, they say it’s exhausting and mind-numbingly tedious, but I don’t mind it. I’m excellent at scanning the sea of kids, reading their body language, listening to the pitch of their voices, and getting to them moments before the illegal hair-pulling, Pokemon card trading, or Hello Kitty glitter lip gloss application begins. This kind of intuition can be either a gift or a curse, but I like to think of it as a gift. Recess duty is like driving. The surface is hyper-alert, leaving the rest of me free to process what’s going on in my life.

I took Nedra’s advice and never told William that I went behind his back and spoke to Kelly Cho. That makes two secrets I’m keeping from him now-the marriage study and my viewing the Cialis focus group tape. I did get a little hysterical while sharing my budget spreadsheets with him and said something along the lines of you have to try harder. He says he’s investigating openings at other ad agencies in the city, but I’m afraid it’s futile. Things are bad everywhere. Shops are closing and ad budgets are shrinking or disappearing altogether. He has to make it work at KKM. As far as the Cialis focus group, I’ve decided I will never go to another KKM product launch again.

And my job? I’m lucky to have one. When the school year ends, I’m going to approach the Parents’ Association about the possibility of making my job full-time in the fall. If that doesn’t happen, I’ll have to look for a higher-paying job. I need to bring in more income.

The bell rings and the kids start running back into the building. I open my Facebook app quickly.

Shonda Perkins Alice Buckle

Definition of friend: Somebody you’ve actually had a meal with in the last year.

43 minutes ago

John F. Kennedy Middle School