Wife 22

I knew it was the right thing to do, but I let myself be talked out of it). But mostly I’m sorry that it’s taken me twenty years to apologize.

And now, in a strange bit of comeuppance, I find myself in the uncomfortable position of asking you for a favor. I’m writing to you on behalf of William. I saw your job listing for the VP of Food and Beverage: William would be perfect for it. He’s too proud to apply himself, but I’m not too proud to ask you for a chance to throw his hat in the ring. I don’t want any special favors, I only ask that you don’t hold me against him.

I’ve attached William’s CV.

All the very best,

Alice Buckle

95

Alice?

Hi Dad.

I have something 2 tell u.

I have something to tell u 2.

Been clning house. Dump runs. Salvation Army. Pawnshop.

Pawnshop? Why?

Wanted 2 buy Conchita some jewelry.

In a pawnshop?

Don’t make fun. Pawnshop has many treasures. Asked Conchita move in w me.

You’re kidding!!

U don’t approve?

Of course I approve. I think it’s wonderful!

I thought I done with all this.

With all what?

U know what.

Romance?

Sex.

Love, Dad?

Yes, love.

:’(

Why u sad, sweetheart?

:-#

I’m your father. U don’t have to B embarrassed.

I haven’t always told you the truth, Dad.

I know that, honey.

Things are kind of hard around here.

I had a feeling something was going on. U been so far away.

I’m really sorry. I’m feeling a little lost.

Do not give up. U be found soon. Good thgs on their way 2 u.

Oh, Dad. How do you know?

Becos I sent them in the mail.

96

Pat Guardia

Can’t believe she almost didn’t do this. Loves her husband so much.

1 hour ago

Pat Guardia

Somebody kill me now.

3 hours ago

Pat Guardia

Hates her husband with all her heart.

4 hours ago

Pat Guardia

Water just broke. Going to the hospital! Have never been more in love.

6 hours ago

“Hello, baby,” I whisper, looking down at Pat and her newborn in the hospital bed.

“Go ahead,” says Pat. “Take off his hat. I know you want to smell him.”

I slip off the blue knit beanie and breathe in the sweet, milky new-baby-head smell.

“Oh, God, Pat. How can you stand it? He’s gorgeous. And he’s got a perfectly shaped head. How did you manage that?” I ask.

“Only twenty minutes of pushing,” says Tita proudly.

“Only because Liam is my third,” says Pat.

Shonda hands Pat a pink box wrapped in glittery ribbon. “I know I’m supposed to bring something for the baby, but tough. You’re the one who needs a present right now. Miracle Serum of Light Complexion Illuminator. Not that you need it, sweetheart.”

“It sounds like a church,” says Tita.

“Oh, it is,” says Shonda. “Once you start using it, you’ll be worshiping at MSLCI’s altar forever, trust me.”

“You finally got your boy,” I say.

“What am I going to do with a boy?” says Pat. “All I know is girls.”

“Cover his wee-wee when you change his diaper,” I tell her.

“And how long should she refer to it as a wee-wee?” asks Shonda.

“A month, two months tops,” I say. “Then you can graduate to penie.”

“None of this wee-wee and penie silliness. You should call it a penis from the beginning,” says Tita.

“You feel very strongly about that, Tita, don’t you,” says Shonda.

“I hate it when people make up ridiculous names for their hoo-hoos,” says Tita.

“Do you want to hold him?” Pat asks me.

“Could I? I already washed my hands.”

“Of course. Go sit in the rocker with him.”

She carefully hands me the baby. He’s asleep, so I tiptoe over to the rocker. Once I’m seated, I take a good look at him: the perfect bow-shaped lips, the tiny fist curled up against his cheek. I sigh happily.

“You could do it again, Alice,” says Pat. “You’re only forty-four. My friend just got pregnant and she’s forty- five.”

“God, no,” I whisper. “I’m done with all that. My babies are nearly grown. I’ll just have a baby vicariously through you. I’ll take him anytime you need a break. Day or night, you just call and I’ll take him,” I say. “I mean that, Pat. I’m not just saying it.”

“I know you’re not,” says Pat.

“You’re crying, Alice,” says Tita.

“I know,” I say. “Newborns always make me cry.”

“How come?” asks Shonda.

“They’re just so vulnerable. So defenseless. So pure.”

“Uh-huh,” says Shonda.