than I’d have had the energy to sock you.’
She was laughing contentedly as she spoke and he relaxed, also laughing.
Suddenly he said, ‘What on earth is that?’
He’d noticed the shabby toy on her bedside table. Now he reached out and took it.
‘That belonged to my Gran-the one in that photo,’ she said. ‘She called him her Mad Bruin, and I think he represented Grandpa to her. After he died she cuddled Bruin and talked to him all the time.’
Roscoe surveyed Bruin, not with the scorn she would once have expected from him, but with fascination.
‘I’ll bet you could tell a secret or two,’ he said.
Pippa choked with laughter and he drew her close, laying the little bear aside as carefully as though he had feelings.
‘Will you believe me if I say I never meant this to happen?’ he murmured against her hair.
‘Of course. If you’d had anything else in mind you would have gone to Teresa.’
‘Teresa isn’t you,’ he said, as though that explained everything.
‘Ah, yes, you couldn’t have talked stern practicalities with her.’
‘As a matter of fact, I could. She’s my oldest friend.’
‘She’s a great beauty,’ Pippa mused. ‘Useful kind of “friend”.’
‘The best. She’s helped me out of several awkward situations. Her husband was also my friend. In fact I introduced them. He died a few years ago but she’s never looked at anyone else, and I don’t think she ever will. She’s still in love with his memory.’
Roscoe wondered why he was telling her all this. Why should he care what she thought? Then he remembered her with Charlie the other night, holding his face tenderly between her hands. And he knew why.
He waited for her to say something, and was disappointed when she didn’t. He couldn’t see that she was smiling to herself.
CHAPTER NINE
AFTER a moment Pippa summoned up her courage and said, as casually as she could manage, ‘So you went on being friends with her husband? He didn’t steal her from you?’
‘Goodness, no! Teresa and I had just about reached the end of the line by then. She was a lovely person-still is-but that connection wasn’t there. I don’t know how else to put it. I enjoyed our outings, but I wasn’t agog with eagerness for them.’
‘Now that’s something I can’t imagine; you, agog with eagerness-not over a woman. A new client, yes. A leap in the exchange rates, yes. But a mere female? Don’t make me laugh.’
He was silent and she feared she’d offended him, but then he said quietly, ‘It might really make you laugh if you knew how wrong you were.’
The proper response to this was,
But she couldn’t say it. She wanted him to go on. If this lonely, isolated man was about to invite her into his secret world then, with all her heart, she wanted to follow him inside. If he would stretch out his hand and trust her with his privacy it would be like a light dawning in her life.
‘Well, I’ve been wrong in the past,’ she mused, going carefully, not to alarm him. ‘If you knew the things I was thinking about you that first day, and even worse on the second day.’
‘But I do know,’ he said, and even from over her head she could hear the grin in his voice. ‘You didn’t bother to hide your terrible opinion of me-grim, gruff, objectionable. And that was when you were thanking me for helping you over those lost papers. When I landed you the job from hell with Charlie your face had to be seen to be believed.’
‘But I soon realised that you were right,’ she said. ‘I’m the ideal person to do it because I can enjoy the game. A woman with a heart would be in danger.’
‘And you don’t have a heart?’
‘I told you, my fiance finished all that.’
‘I’ve begun to understand you,’ Roscoe said slowly. ‘You come on like a seductive siren but it’s all a mask. Behind it-’
‘Behind it there’s nothing,’ she said lightly. ‘No feeling, no hopes, no regrets. Nothing. Just a heartless piece, me.’
‘No!’ he said fiercely. ‘Don’t say that about yourself. It’s not true. Once I thought it was but now I know you better.’
‘You don’t know me at all,’ she said, fighting the alarm caused by his insight. ‘You know nothing about me.’
‘You’re wrong; I do know. I know you’re kind and sweet, gentle and generous, loving and vulnerable-all the things you’ve tried to prevent me discovering, prevent
‘Nonsense!’ she said desperately. ‘You’re creating a sentimental fantasy but the truth is what’s on the surface. I have no heart because I’ve no use for one. Who needs it?’
‘That’s your defence, is it?’ he asked slowly. ‘Who needs a heart? I think you do, Pippa.’
‘Mr Havering, I am a lawyer; you are my client. My private life does not concern you.’
Her voice was soft but he heard something in it that was almost a threat, and he backed off, worried more for her than for himself. There seemed no end to the things he was discovering about her, but he feared to put a foot wrong, lest he harm her.
‘All right, I’m sorry,’ he said in a soothing voice. ‘It’s none of my business, after all. Don’t cry.’ He could feel her shaking against him.
‘I’m not crying,’ she said. ‘I’m laughing. Me, saying I’m a lawyer and you’re a client, when we’re lying here-’
‘Yes, we’ve got a bit beyond that point, haven’t we?’ he said. ‘We’ve both experienced things to make us bitter. Like the way when someone has promised to marry you, they become the person above all others you have to beware of.’
‘That’s true,’ she said in a voice of discovery. ‘Once you start twining your life with theirs, they have a whole sheaf of weapons in their hands-the house you chose together, the secrets you tell each other-all the things they know about you that you desperately wish they didn’t. Ouch!’
She gasped for Roscoe’s hands had suddenly tightened.
‘Sorry,’ he said.
‘Did that last one-?’
‘Struck right home,’ he agreed, drawing her head down against his chest once more. ‘You brood about it, which is nonsense because she and her new love have other things to talk about apart from you. But you picture them laughing, and wonder how you could ever have trusted her so much.’
‘And then you don’t want to trust anyone again,’ she whispered. ‘So you promise yourself that you won’t.’
‘But it isn’t so easy. If you go through life drawing away from people, at last you turn into a monster. I don’t want to turn into a monster, although several people would probably tell you that’s what I am.’
‘Sometimes it feels safer,’ she agreed.
‘I won’t believe anyone’s ever said it of you.’
‘Why? Because I’ve got a pretty face? Haven’t you ever heard of a pretty monster? It’s all part of the performance, you see. The lad who was here the first night, the one I half crippled, don’t you think he sees me as a monster?’
‘That doesn’t mean you are one,’ he said with a touch of anger in his voice. ‘Stop this.’
‘I led him on, didn’t I? You’d think I’d know better by now, but a girl must have some fun in her life. You knew that, even then. That’s why you hired me.’
He groaned and raised his hands to cover his eyes. ‘And this is what he did to you? Your fiance?’
‘Or maybe I was always like that. It’s hard-wired into me and it took him to bring it out.’
‘You don’t really believe any of that stuff.’
