‘I can, but it’s mostly pointless. I like a quiet life.’
‘No, you don’t,’ she said suddenly. ‘You’ve
He was silent for a moment. ‘You’re very astute.’
‘Gino,’ she said impulsively, ‘what is it that you do want? If you could have your perfect life, what would it be?’
‘Oh-I don’t know-’ he murmured.
She caught a look on his face that had never been there before. Tension, wistfulness, desolation, they were all there, and for a moment she thought he would answer. But then the look was gone, leaving only blandness behind.
‘If all your dreams came true,’ she persisted, ‘what would they be?’
‘That’s not the point of dreams,’ he said.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Dreams aren’t for coming true, they’re for dreaming. If they come true you’ve lost them, and you have to find another dream.’
‘But that’s not what happened to you, is it?’ she asked. ‘You didn’t get what you dreamed of.’
He smiled at her but he was looking into the distance.
‘Maybe the things I dreamed about were things I had no right to,’ he said.
‘But they were still your dreams. Were they beautiful?’
‘Yes, they were beautiful,’ he said softly. ‘But forbidden, although I didn’t know it then. I know it now.’
‘Aren’t there other things to dream of?’ she asked quietly.
He shook his head. ‘It’s better not to. You just end up wasting a lot of time. You asked about my ideal life. I suppose it would be much like the one I have.’
So he wasn’t going to let her in, she thought. Tonight he’d let her creep nearer to his confidence than ever before, but even so the door had swung shut at the last minute, leaving her with the frustrating feeling that Gino was like an iceberg. Not in his nature, for a more warm-hearted, sweet-tempered man never lived, but in the way he concealed nine-tenths of himself beneath a smiling surface.
CHAPTER SIX
GINO was getting used to hearing Steve’s car draw up late at night, then pause, then the front door. He no longer went to the window, but sometimes he would join Laura in the kitchen afterwards, trying to read the progress of the relationship in her face.
He knew he should be glad for her, since she seemed to have found the ideal man, but he couldn’t make himself do it. Trying to analyse his unease was frustrating, because the best he could come up with was that Steve bore a marked resemblance to Laura’s ex-husband. And that made him more uneasy than ever.
One night, after she had returned, he emerged into the dark corridor in time to hear Laura and Nikki talking in the child’s room.
‘Go to sleep, now,’ he heard Laura say from the door.
‘But you did have a lovely time, didn’t you, Mummy?’
‘Yes, I did, and it’s time you were asleep.’
‘But-’
‘Goodnight,’ Laura said, laughing but firm as she closed the door.
‘She’s a little monkey,’ Gino observed as they went downstairs together.
In the kitchen they settled down to have one of their late-night chats over a cup of tea. Gino wondered how many more times this would happen.
‘You’re bursting with news,’ he said, looking at her glowing face.
‘I told him about Nikki. Everything’s wonderful.’
Something hit him in the stomach. ‘That’s great.’
‘He was so supportive and understanding. Oh, Gino, I’m so happy-’
The doorbell rang.
‘Who’s that at this hour?’ Gino muttered, rising and making his way towards the door.
Afterwards he realised that he should have guessed, or at least been on the alert. But he was off guard, and it came as a total surprise when he opened the door and saw Steve Deyton.
‘Hi!’ Steve said cheerily. ‘You must be Gino. Laura’s told me about you.’
He grasped Gino’s hand and pumped it up and down, while contriving to slip past him into the hall.
‘Laura left her scarf in the car,’ he said, ‘so I thought I’d bring it back. Hello, darling!’
This was to Laura who’d come out into the hall, smiling as she saw him, opening her arms to be enclosed in his.
Then it happened.
There was the sound of footsteps scampering downstairs, an eager cry of-
‘Mummy, is that-?’
Steve, facing the stairs, raised his eyes and caught his first glimpse of Nikki. Time seemed to stop. From where he was standing Gino saw everything in his face, the frozen shock, the horror, the revulsion.
What broke Gino’s heart was that Nikki saw it too.
Laura, facing the other direction, didn’t know what was happening. But she heard Nikki check, felt Steve grow tense, and drew back to look at his face, just in time to see him adjust his expression.
She knew at once. She’d seen that hasty adjustment too often to be mistaken about it. She stepped back from him as though he were poison.
Incredibly, Gino thought, the only one not stunned to silence was Nikki. She descended the last stairs and came forward to Steve.
‘Hello,’ she said calmly. ‘I’m Nikki.’
‘Hello, Nikki,’ he said mechanically.
His eyes moved from side to side like a man desperately seeking a way out. Nikki, watching him, knew everything.
She took a step closer to Gino. Her hand slipped into his and squeezed it hard. He squeezed back.
‘What are you doing down here you rascal?’ Gino asked, hoping his voice didn’t shake. ‘You were supposed to be asleep ages ago. Come on. Upstairs with you.’
Without a word she went with him. Hand in hand they went up together, and along to her room. Nikki kept a tight hold of his hand until she was in bed and he was tucking her up.
They looked at each other. There was a calm determination about the child that he had to respect, and no way was he going to insult her with comforting platitudes that she was too intelligent to believe.
‘He isn’t magic, like you,’ she said at last in a voice that was too grim for a child.
‘I guess not everyone can be magic,’ he said gently. ‘Maybe we should feel sorry for people who aren’t. They’re not special, like us.’
She nodded.
‘I suppose you meet a lot like him,’ he ventured.
‘Yes. I don’t really mind-’ her voice wobbled.
Gino abandoned words and enfolded her in a bear hug. They were sitting like that when Laura came in. Her face was tight, angry, and she looked as if she’d been crying.
‘Here’s Mummy,’ Gino said softly.
There was no movement from Nikki.
‘Nikki?’ he whispered, leaning over slightly, trying to see her face.
Still there was no answer, except her deep, regular breathing.
‘She’s gone to sleep,’ he said.
Gently they lowered Nikki back onto the pillows. Somehow she’d taken hold of Gino’s hand again and he had to ease away carefully. But he managed it without waking her, and they crept out of the room.
