Gino’s Arranged Bride

‘You could tell me now,’ she said softly.

‘You would be angry with me. I dreamed of holding you in my arms when we were naked-we made love-I had no right to think of you that way-’

‘Right has nothing to do with it,’ she said gently. ‘You love whom you love.’

‘That’s true. I couldn’t help loving you and I wanted everything with you. And when I held you, you were beautiful-as beautiful as I always knew you would be. And I told you that you were my love, for ever. I know I must never say that again, only think it. I can’t spend my life with you, but I can spend my life loving you.’

Through the mist he saw her shake her head.

‘That’s a long time,’ she said. ‘Time to forget and love again.’

His hands moved, holding hers.

‘You don’t understand. Why should I want to love again when I’ve found the perfect woman?’

‘No woman is perfect,’ she insisted, and he had the strange feeling that she was pleading with him. ‘There’s always someone else, who might be even better-’

‘Not for me.’

‘But suppose she loved you? Don’t you want to be loved as well as to give love-?’

‘Yes,’ he whispered, ‘I wanted that.’

‘Wouldn’t that be better than wasting your life on something that’s hopeless?’

‘Much better-common sense. But-not for me.’

He tightened his hand on hers, drawing it slowly up to his mouth so that his lips could lie against it.

‘Amor mio,’ he whispered. ‘Per tutta la vita.’

Her hand vanished as though she’d snatched it back. In the same moment her blurred face melted away, and he was alone in the burning darkness again.

It swirled around him, tossing him about violently, like a whirlwind. He tried to touch ground, but there was no ground, nothing to hold onto, no safety, no joy, only a world of fearsome nothingness.

Gradually the heat began to abate. The glowing Tuscan colours faded into hospital pastels, reality shuddered back into place, and he awoke to find himself in a cold world.

He saw the end of the bed, the pale green walls, and a mass of bleeping machinery. His neck hurt, but he managed to turn his head slowly, and saw Laura standing by the window, looking out.

‘Hello,’ he managed to say. The tube was gone from his neck but he was still hoarse.

She turned and smiled quickly, but her face was pale and distraught.

‘Hello,’ she said in a strained voice. ‘I’ll fetch someone.’

She left the room before he could speak, and from the corridor he heard her say, ‘He’s come round.’

There were footsteps, a nurse appearing, smiling with relief. ‘That’s better,’ she said. ‘You gave us a fright.’

‘Why, what happened?’

‘Just when we thought you were on the mend you took a bad turn. Your temperature shot right up again, and we called your wife back quickly, just in case. Let me check your temperature, although I can see it’s well down. Yes-that’s normal.’

After a few more checks the nurse left them. Gino wondered why Laura was keeping back from him, near the window.

‘Have you been with me all the time?’ he asked.

‘Most of it. They sent for me last night because Nikki said-er-she said you were her daddy, and they assumed we were either married or-’

‘Uh-huh! I guessed that.’

‘I didn’t tell them otherwise because if they think I’m your next of kin it makes things easier.’

‘Right. I’m glad they sent for you. I wouldn’t have liked to die alone.’

‘Gino, you’re not going to die.’

‘Not now. But I know how close to it I came.’

Laura nodded. ‘Yes, it got very scary. Would you like me to contact your family? After all, I’m not your next of kin, and maybe they should know?’

He was silent.

‘Give me a number to call,’ she suggested.

‘There’s no need,’ he said at last. ‘I’m past the worst now.’

‘But suppose you had died? How would I get in touch with them?’

‘There’s an address book in my room, but don’t use it now. I’m getting better and there’s no need.’ His voice was weak, but he spoke with a firmness that told her the subject was closed.

‘As you wish,’ she said. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Dreadful. My throat feels as though I’ve swallowed thorns, and my brain is off the planet. I’m so light-headed I’m floating between two worlds.’

‘You had a terrible fever. You were delirious.’

‘Did I talk much?’ He didn’t look at her as he spoke.

‘A bit, but don’t ask me what you said. It was in Italian.’

She saw that some of his tension eased.

‘Was it all in Italian?’ he asked, as casually as he could. ‘I didn’t say anything I shouldn’t, did I?’

‘Not that I noticed.’

He gave her his winning smile. ‘I just wondered if I’d offended you, and that was why you were keeping your distance.’

He stretched out his hand, and after a moment she came forward and took it, sitting carefully on the side of the bed.

‘What time is it?’ he asked.

‘Seven in the morning. I’d like to be home before Nikki awakes, so that she doesn’t need to know that I was ever away.’

‘Right.’ He tightened his hand. ‘Poor Laura. I’ve kept you up all night, and now you’ve got to start a day’s work. I’m sorry.’

‘Not your fault,’ she said gruffly.

‘You must rue the day you ever met me.’

‘You know I don’t. If anything had happened to you-well-’

‘Nikki,’ he said, understanding. ‘Well, tell Nikki I’m fine, thanks to her.’

‘I will. Goodbye for now.’

She squeezed his hand and left him.

Laura just made it home before Nikki was up. In a low voice she outlined events to the others, who promised to say nothing. They were acting normally by the time Nikki came bounding downstairs, eager for news of Gino.

‘We will go and see him tonight, won’t we?’ she demanded over breakfast. ‘Otherwise he’ll wonder what’s happened to us.’

‘We’ll go,’ Laura promised.

At last they all departed, Nikki and Mrs Baxter to school, Sadie and Claudia to the factory. Laura started the housework, but in Sadie’s bedroom she stopped, fighting with her conscience.

Sadie possessed a state-of-the-art computer, bought at cost price from the factory. She’d shown Laura how to use it, and get online.

She did so now. Searching feverishly she found what she wanted, a website that did translations. With shaking hands she typed in per tutta la vita. She could remember the words clearly. They were burned into her brain.

The translation came up. For all my life.

Gino had said, Amor mio, per tutta la vita.

‘My love, for all my life.’

But he had said it to Alex, not to her. She’d known that, even as he grasped her hands and babbled deliriously of love. None of it had been meant for herself. His eyes had been open but he’d seen only the woman he loved and always would, because no other woman existed for him. He’d poured out his heart to Alex in passionate words that