and slippers.’
She gave a crack of laughter and buried her face in the pillow to muffle the sound.
‘Middle-aged,’ she gasped. ‘There’s nothing middle-aged about you,
‘I’m glad you think so,
‘Ah, yes,’ she said with a melancholy sigh. ‘That’s going to be a big problem soon, isn’t it? I should have remembered.’
‘Hey, don’t be like that,’ he said, instantly concerned. ‘I was only joking.’
‘I know,’ she said sadly, ‘but it’s just that-oh, well, I’ll get used to it.’
‘But I didn’t mean it that way,’ he said desperately. ‘Laura, please don’t be hurt-’
She raised her head to look at him, her face brimful of laughter. ‘I’m not,’ she chuckled. ‘Ever been had?’
‘Why you-!’ He pulled her into his arms, laughing. ‘You wait,’ he threatened. ‘I’ll get my own back.’
‘Is that a promise?’
‘That’s a promise?’
‘Now?’
‘Think I can’t?’
‘Well, you’ve done all right so far-for a middle-aged man. But three times in one night is a bit much to-’
Her words were cut off by his mouth on hers. Gino had never been a man to duck a challenge and he threw himself into this one with all his heart and all his considerable strength. Their two previous encounters had only taken the edge off his desire, not satisfied it completely.
This mating was vigorous, unsubtle and joyful, leaving them both gasping and drained, clasping each other until the last moment, unwilling to let it go. But when it had finally slipped away, Gino fell asleep at once, and Laura found herself mysteriously alone again.
It shouldn’t have happened after their closeness, she thought with a little ache. For a while they had been as united as any two people ever were on earth. And yet, as she watched his sleeping face, she saw that he was still, in many essential respects, a stranger.
She had never really known him, except for the glimpse of the truth she’d had in the hospital, when he’d held her hands and poured out his heart to another woman. Tonight one part of him had reached out to her, but she knew the essential part was as far away as ever.
They had lived in the same house for months, shared jokes, confided troubles-or at least, she had confided hers. But in all that time she’d known only what he wanted her to know. Tonight the mask had slipped, or he’d chosen to discard it, and she’d met a man who was moody, unpredictable and dangerously sexy. She could hardly believe that she’d ever thought of him as a brother.
She leaned over and kissed him so gently that he didn’t wake. Snuggling down to sleep, she reflected that this was only the beginning. He wouldn’t always turn away from her. Now that they had started to find each other there was much more to hope for.
On the surface nothing had changed. To the world they presented the appearance of a sedate married couple, working hard at their jobs and their stolid, virtuous family life.
But behind their closed door life had changed completely, being neither sedate nor stolid. And if they were virtuous, it was only in the sense that, as a married couple, their fevered couplings were, as Gino hilariously put it, sanctioned by law.
There was almost as much humour as sensuality in their lovemaking. Laura would cherish for ever the moment when the two single beds slid apart, causing Gino to fall off her and down the gap. He had climbed out, cursing horribly, and resumed his occupation almost without a pause.
After that they bought a double bed.
Nikki was still their priority. Gino was the father Laura had hoped he would be, and if she had any doubt that he made the child happy those doubts were set to rest one evening in an unexpected way.
It was a Saturday, they had the house to themselves, and Nikki was allowed to stay up an extra hour. They were watching television, channel hopping, when suddenly Laura heard a voice she had thought she would never hear again.
‘Of course the people have changed, but the audiences-’
It was like listening to a ghost to hear Jack Gray’s voice again. Since the day he’d left her they’d talked only twice, on the telephone. The divorce had been conducted through letters and lawyers.
Now there he was on the screen, still handsome in a lardy way, a few years older and more bloated. His teeth were too large, white and even, as though he’d had them ‘done’.
It was too late to switch channels. Nikki, sitting on the floor, had already seen him and was watching the screen intently. When the commentator gave his name Gino looked at Nikki, then at Laura, who nodded in despair.
Since the night Nikki had passionately insisted that her father was dead, there had been no more mention of him. She seemed to have forgotten all about it, and Laura hadn’t dared to raise the subject, fearing to upset her again.
But the programme made it clear that he was alive now. Laura snatched up the television guide and discovered that this was a programme about theatrical agents, especially those who were becoming well known.
Now they were talking about Jack’s new wife and toddler. He was sitting there with a little girl on his knees, a perfect, beautiful child.
Laura held her breath as Nikki watched the pictures flashing across the screen, underlying the full scope of her father’s betrayal. It was almost eerie the way Nikki didn’t react.
But then she did react, so subtly that it would have been easy to miss. It was the slightest movement, shifting across the floor in Gino’s direction, so that she was leaning against him. He reached down, she clasped his hand in hers, and they sat like that for a moment, until Nikki looked up.
‘Can I have some toast before I go to bed?’
‘Want me to make it for you?’
‘Yes, please, Daddy.’
That was all it took, and all it needed.
Laura would have been happy now if only she could have felt free to tell Gino that she loved him. At night they lay in each other’s arms, exchanging warmth and pleasure. By day he treated her with affection.
But he never told her that he loved her.
She reasoned with herself that his behaviour implied love, but she knew better. He was a warm-hearted man whose sweet temper and sensual gifts would have won over any woman. He gave her what he could of himself, and if he could not give more, she knew the reason.
She tried not to brood, knowing how quickly that could destroy her and everything she’d won. But at night she listened jealously to hear if he talked in his sleep, and which name he spoke. He never did utter the name she feared, but neither did he utter hers.
He would never really be hers, she thought wistfully, not in the way that she had become his. She must try to be content with what she had.
One evening he went out, saying that he was taking a walk, although it was raining heavily. He was gone for many hours, returning, very wet, when Laura had already gone to bed, past one in the morning.
‘I’m sorry if I disturbed you,’ he told her, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing his hair.
She didn’t tell him that she’d been lying anxiously awake. She didn’t want him to feel spied on.
‘Shall I get you a hot drink?’ she asked pleasantly.
‘No, thanks. I never catch cold. Laura, I want you to leave the pub. You do too much.’
‘But the money’s so useful.’
‘There’s another way to get money, enough for you to stop being a barmaid, and hire people to help with this place.’
‘That sounds expensive. Where can we get enough to do that?’
‘I’m going to sell my half of Belluna.’
She sat up. ‘Your farm in Tuscany?’
‘Half mine. Rinaldo owns the other half and I think he’ll be glad to buy my share from me. It’ll make all the difference to us.’
