His Pretend Wife

darkness.

It was Andrew who noticed that there was a funfair about a mile away, and he who suggested that they should go. He was also the one to set the date.

‘The day after tomorrow,’ he said, ‘because that’s Ellie’s birthday.’

Hetta stared. ‘How did you know? I didn’t tell you.’

‘I’m a magician,’ he said, and that satisfied her.

‘I don’t want to make a fuss about my birthday,’ she muttered as soon as they were alone.

‘Too late. Give your friend Daisy a call and ask her to stay with us that night.’

It would be good to see Daisy again, but she would inevitably take over the children, leaving her too much with Andrew. She’d been steering clear of him ever since he’d made her that insulting offer of marriage, but it was hard now he was at home for the week. He strode off without waiting for an answer, and a few minutes later he departed on a gift-buying expedition with the children.

When her birthday came they all made the breakfast, then plied her with gifts. From Hetta there was a brooch in the shape of a heart, and from Simon a pair of slippers. Andrew’s gift was a scarf, made of wool and silk. It was exquisite and expensive, but not so much as to invite comment. She thanked him quietly, and promised to wear it that evening.

The taxi arrived with Daisy, and now she was glad her old friend was there to shield her from the attention. Her thoughts had been in turmoil ever since the other night. There had been a brief temptation to say yes, marry him anyway and count on her own love to be enough.

Try as she might, she couldn’t stop her thoughts wandering down that path. To the outside world they looked like a family, two parents and two children. It was tempting to think that they really were a family, to pretend that she were his wife, as she might once have been.

These days, when he took the children into the village, and the three of them returned to find her getting them a snack in the kitchen, they would greet each other with smiles, and for a moment she could think, This is how it would be if we were married.

And it could still happen. She could tell him she’d reconsidered and decided that it was a sensible idea. But the word ‘sensible’ checked her. Her love alone would never be enough for the two of them, and only misery could come from trying to make it.

On the afternoon of her birthday the phone rang. Elinor was alone when she answered it, and she was immediately glad.

‘Hi, sweetie,’ came Myra’s voice singing down the line. ‘How’s tricks?’

‘We’re doing very well,’ Elinor said. ‘Do you want to talk to Simon?’

‘Thanks, but I just got off the line to him an hour ago.’

‘How’s Detroit?’

‘Hot. Muggy. But Cyrus is letting me have the swimming pool enlarged. I thought of making it like a Roman bath house. What do you think?’

‘I think it’ll be very “you”,’ Elinor said.

Myra’s crack of laughter showed that she fully understood this tact. ‘I called to say happy birthday!’ she said.

‘Thank you. How did you know?’

‘Simon told me. He says you’re going out on this great party. Big funfair.’

‘That’s right. An old friend of mine is here, so there’ll be three of us looking out for the children.’

‘Good, have a great time. And listen, I have a birthday gift for you.’

‘That’s very kind. I’ll look forward to it.’

‘No, I’m going to give it to you now. I knew I’d seen you somewhere before as soon as we met, and now it’s come to me. It’s you in that photograph.’

‘What photograph?’

‘The one Andrew keeps with him. Or I should say one of the ones he keeps with him. There’s about a dozen of them. Him and this girl with masses of blonde hair, sitting together, their arms around each other, kissing. And sometimes just her on her own. He didn’t know that I knew. I found them in his desk drawer one day, and I never told him. So you were the ghost.’

‘The ghost?’

‘Andrew’s ghost, the one that’s always haunted him. I knew soon after we married that there was someone else. I don’t mean another woman in the conventional sense, but a secret ghost in his heart that he visited sometimes, and came back looking sad. I was arrogant enough to think I could drive her away, but I never could, because she was the one he loved.’

‘Myra, I’m sure you’re wrong about this-’

‘No, I’m not wrong. It’s your face.’

‘Yes, it’s me, but the rest-we were children. At least, I was.’

‘But he wasn’t,’ Myra said shrewdly. ‘One thing I know about Andrew, he gives all of himself to everything. It’s exhausting to live with, but the one who really gets dragged through the mill is Andrew.’

‘Yes,’ Elinor murmured. ‘It was like that. I did love him but I was seventeen and all of him was more than I could cope with. If we’d met later-’ She sighed.

‘Has he been a ghost for you too, then?’

‘All the time,’ she said slowly, realising that it was true. ‘I never meant to keep thinking of him, but somehow he wouldn’t go away. I could never forget how badly I’d treated him and it spoiled everything else. And his face on the last day-yes, I suppose that’s been my ghost.’

‘And you’re not going to look me in the eyes and say you don’t still love him, are you?’ Myra demanded, blithely ignoring the miles separating them.

‘Myra-’

‘Of course you’re not. It stands out a mile. There was always a third person in our marriage,’ she added, without rancour. ‘It’s fascinating to meet her after all this time.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. Andrew and I should never have married. Once you’d had the “all” there wasn’t much left for anyone else. What happens next is up to you, but for Andrew’s sake I hope you get your act together. Bye, sweetie. Have a nice birthday.’ She hung up.

Elinor set down the phone, her mind whirling. It couldn’t be true. Myra had somehow got it wrong. And yet there was something in the word ‘ghost’ that had caught at her heart. She’d been haunted since the day of their parting, and of course Andrew had been haunted too.

But he’d been cured when they’d met again and he’d seen how she’d changed. She must remember that.

Both children were persuaded to sleep the afternoon away, under the dire threat of having to leave the funfair early. They set out in the early evening, with both youngsters bright-eyed and eager.

Andrew was an unexpected success. The same skills that made him a surgeon made him score bull’s-eyes at the coconut shy, which he did so often that the harassed owner ordered him off, to the children’s hilarity.

‘Oh, look, Mummy, there’s a big wheel.’ Hetta tugged on Elinor’s hand. ‘Can we go on it?’

‘It looks awfully big, darling,’ Elinor said, looking up doubtfully.

‘That’s the idea,’ Andrew observed, following her gaze. ‘You’re not scared, are you, Ellie?’

‘You know I am,’ she said softly.

She wondered what was happening. There was something different about Andrew tonight, as though he was determined to provoke her memories.

‘Come along,’ Daisy carolled, leading the way to the entrance. Simon and Hetta went with her, and the three of them piled in together.

‘Come along,’ Andrew said, taking Elinor’s hand, and soon they were in the seat just behind the others.

Then they were off, sailing silently upward, higher and higher, until they reached the top and began the stomach-churning descent. But her nerves seemed unimportant because Andrew’s arm was about her shoulders, drawing her close.

‘Andrew, we agreed-I’m just an employee.’

‘No, you agreed that. Tonight you’re Ellie. You’ve always been Ellie. You always will be. Do you remember?’ he whispered as his lips brushed on hers.