‘Until you were too old and decrepit to do anything else,’ she said lightly. ‘Well, I’m glad we dispensed with that one.’
He smiled, but he was still troubled.
‘I’m just not sure I can cope with a family,’ he said. ‘I told you a little about my experience of family life and I dare say Teresa has filled you in about the rest.’
‘She added a few things,’ Mandy agreed.
‘So you’ll know that it’s something that makes me nervous. Parents and children-how they relate to each other-I just don’t know.’
‘What about your father? Even when your mother left, you still had him.’
‘His way of coping was to let me do as I liked while he got on with his own life. I didn’t have any complaints at the time. No child is going to object to having his own way, but we ended up barely acquainted. When it comes to being a father-I know nothing.’
‘And neither does any other man with his first child,’ Mandy tried to reassure him. ‘You learn as you go along. And you did have some family life, with your grandfather. Teresa told me he adored you, that he gave you the only love you really had in your childhood. You adored him too, didn’t you? That’s why his is the only picture you keep.’
He nodded reflectively. ‘If I hadn’t had him to cling to, things would have been even worse. He gave me security, and when I grew up he invested in me with a loan to start the business, no interest and unsecured. Later, when I tried to pay him back, he didn’t want it. He said I should keep it as a gift. I couldn’t let him do that, but he wouldn’t take the money.’
He grinned suddenly. ‘We had a historic battle. I paid the money direct into his bank and he hit the roof. We yelled at each other for a while, he wrote a cheque and stuffed it into my hand. I tore it up. He stormed off and deposited money directly into my bank. Then we had another yelling match.’
‘Who gave in?’ she asked, much entertained.
‘Me, of course. Nobody ever got the better of the old man. The best I managed was to make him accept a partnership in the business so that he had something to show for his money, and I paid him regular dividends. To this day he owns a quarter, and at least I can say he’s prospered. But if he’d gone bankrupt he wouldn’t have held it against me.
‘One day soon I’d like to take you both to see him. He’s very old. He spends most of his life asleep, but we might be lucky and catch him on a good day.’
‘Yes, I’d love to meet him. And he definitely ought to be introduced to his great-grandson.’
‘I wish he was still well enough to be there for Danny. He’d be a better father than I will. I don’t think I have the patience-Mandy, you know what I’m trying to say. I can be very difficult. You’ve discovered that.’
‘Yes, with people you think are trying to deceive you. I don’t think you need worry about that with Danny.’
‘You’re so sure, aren’t you? Far more than I am.’
‘Maybe I know you better than you know yourself.’
‘And if I can’t find a place in my heart for him? Face it, Mandy, it might happen.’
‘Then…’ She hesitated, unwilling to confront the thought, but knowing it had to be done. ‘If that happened,’ she said slowly, ‘then Danny and I would have to go away and trouble you no more.’
Renzo drew a sharp breath and his hand tightened slightly on hers, as though he were trying to prevent her escape.
‘I couldn’t stay here then,’ she said sadly. ‘Because eventually Danny would know that you didn’t love him, and he’d suffer the same kind of rejection that you did. I couldn’t do that to him. I’d have to take him away, wouldn’t I?’
He nodded, and there was infinite sadness in his face.
‘Yes,’ he said sadly. ‘That’s what you’d have to do.’
They were both at the airport the next day. Earlier in the day Renzo had declined to go there, using business as an excuse. Mandy guessed the real reason. He didn’t want to meet his son for the first time in public.
But when she looked into his office to say goodbye he suddenly announced that business could wait and came out to the car with her.
‘It would look rude if we didn’t both welcome your friend,’ he said.
She wasn’t fooled by that, either. He might pretend as much as he liked. He couldn’t wait to see Danny.
It was a good omen, she told herself. As they rode in the back of the car to the airport she was full of hope.
The plane was on time and they had only to position themselves by the gate and wait for Sue to appear.
‘Just a few more minutes,’ she said excitedly. ‘Renzo-where are you?’
He’d moved a few feet behind her. ‘I’ll wait here,’ he said, ‘while you say hello.’
It sounded reasonable enough, but it meant that once again he’d withdrawn to watch from a distance. Mandy tried not to be uneasy. He was bound to be cautious.
Then she saw Sue coming towards them, carrying Danny, and all else was forgotten in the joy of seeing them. As she ran forward, Danny spotted her and began wriggling free, yelling, ‘Muuu-meee-
‘Darling,’ she cried, taking him from Sue. ‘You didn’t forget me. Give me a kiss-there-there-my gorgeous boy.’
‘Thank goodness you took him before he escaped,’ Sue said, laughing and flexing her arm. ‘He’s getting heavy.’
‘Allow me to help with your luggage,
‘Where are my manners?’ Mandy said guiltily. ‘I took one look at Danny and everything went out of my head.’
‘Very natural,’ Renzo said.
‘This is Sue. I’ve told you about her, and she’s been looking after Danny while I was away. And this-is Danny.’
Father and son stared at each other in silence.
Then Renzo said, ‘We’re holding people up. Let’s get out to the car.’
In the car home Mandy sat with Danny on her lap, hugging him and resting her cheek against his head, happy in their reunion but longing to reach home. Renzo was talking to Sue, asking polite questions, seemingly interested in the answers, but Mandy could sense that he was filled with tension.
At last the car drew up. As they entered the house Teresa appeared, beaming a welcome and offering to show Sue up to her room. Sue went with her willingly, knowing that the others needed to be alone.
Renzo followed her into the front room and closed the door.
‘Here he is,’ Mandy said, turning so that he could see his son clearly. ‘Doesn’t he look like your grandfather?’
‘Yes, his face is very like,’ Renzo agreed.
‘He’s one year and three months old, and he’s got a real personality. He likes his own way and if he doesn’t get it he lets you know how he feels.’
‘I believe I was much the same.’
‘From what I hear, you still are,’ she said with an attempt at humour.
‘Like father, like son,’ he said in the same spirit.
It was all wrong, she thought with a sinking heart. He was doing his best, but it was a palpable effort.
‘Would you like to hold him?’ she asked.
‘I’d be afraid to drop him.’
‘Sit on the sofa and I’ll give him to you.’
He sat down and she sat beside him, easing Danny into his arms.
But the child promptly let out a bellow and began to struggle, so that she retrieved him hastily.
‘He’s tired,’ she said. ‘He needs a nap before he meets people.’
‘Of course,’ Renzo said, with something in his voice that might have been relief. ‘I’ll leave you two together, while I get on with some work.’
He departed quickly.
