endure no matter whose heart broke. And perhaps it was better to let her heart break now than put off facing the truth until later. What had happened today had always been bound to happen.
A movement from below made her look down, wondering if Toni had been locked out. But he was there beside her, paws on the window sill.
Who, then, was below?
When she looked out again the moon had gone behind a cloud, filling the garden with darkness, until the cloud passed and she saw who was standing there. Vittorio was gazing up at her and, even in this light, she thought she’d never seen so much misery in a human face-greater, even, than her own.
‘I thought you’d gone home,’ she called down softly.
He simply shook his head.
‘Go to the kitchen door,’ she said.
He was there by the time she reached it and pulled back the bolts. But when she pulled open the door and stood back for him to pass he made no move. She couldn’t see his face, but the tension was there in every line of him.
‘Come in,’ she said, turning to lead the way, and leaving him to lock the door.
Outside the bedroom door he stood back, again refusing to enter until she summoned him, and even then asking, ‘Are you sure that I may?’
‘Come in,’ she said.
He came across the threshold as though fearful, and when she’d closed the door he made no move to touch her.
‘How long had you been out there?’
‘I got halfway home before I turned around. I had to come back and ask-
The moment he said ‘beg your forgiveness’ it was all over. Angel placed her fingers over his lips, feeling all pain and anger dissolve, and drew him further inside the room, so that she could sit down on the bed. But instead of sitting beside her he dropped to his knees.
‘Forgive me,’ he said hoarsely. ‘I never meant to speak to you so. I know you are innocent, but inside me I am insane with jealousy. I try not to be. I know that none of it was your fault, but reason has no place in the way I feel about you. Nothing and nobody in the world has ever mattered to me as you do. It frightens me how much you matter. I don’t know what to do.’
‘Must you do anything?’ Angel whispered. ‘Is it so terrible for me to matter?’
‘In a way it is,’ Vittorio said sombrely. ‘Love isn’t simple for me. Today-with you in my arms-such joy, such beauty…greater than I have ever known. You seemed to have taken possession of me, as though my soul were no longer my own.’
A tremor went through him, and she guessed that this was what he feared so much that it tinged love with dread.
And perhaps he was right, Angel thought sadly. She had felt the same, as though he had taken possession of her, and it had made the pain of his hostility all the greater. Wouldn’t it be better to do as he did, and retreat to safety?
But the next moment she knew better. There was no safety for either of them.
‘I turned on you to protect myself.’ He sighed, resting his head against her. ‘It’s the only way I knew to escape you.’
‘If you want to escape me that much, perhaps you should.’
He looked into her face. ‘You would send me away?’
‘I wouldn’t keep you against your will. Vittorio, one part of you still hates me-’
‘Yes. It’s the truth. If I can admit it, why can’t you?’
He gave a wintry smile. ‘Because you have more courage than me. Do you think I don’t know that? I could never truly hate you, not now. But I want so many different things at once-to flee from you, to lose myself in you. Sometimes I think it can never be right for us. There’s too much holding us apart. But then I look at you and I know that nothing must come between us.’
‘I guess we both have our demons,’ she said. ‘And they’re always lying in wait. But just now, let’s forget them.’
‘Say that you forgive me,’ Vittorio whispered.
‘There is nothing to forgive.’ Angel stroked his face. ‘We have to be generous with each other. There’s no other way for us.’
Angel took his face between her hands and kissed him tenderly. ‘We can make it right now,’ she murmured.
But when she tried to put her arms around him he drew back and rose to his feet.
‘Not now,’ he said. ‘It’s too soon-I don’t trust myself…’
‘But if I trust you?’
‘You mustn’t,’ he said with sudden frantic urgency. ‘If I were strong enough I’d go far away and leave you in peace-but I can’t, except for just a little while.’
‘Stay,’ she murmured against his mouth.
‘I can’t-I mustn’t-’
‘Stay.’
She could feel his indecision, the terrible fight he was waging inside his divided self, and for a moment she was sure she’d won. But at the last minute he pulled away.
‘Forgive me,’ he said hoarsely.
And fled.
Angel had a poor night, and went down next morning feeling weary and disgruntled. But a pleasant surprise awaited her.
Through the window she saw Sam walking in the garden on Roy’s arm. She went out, bracing herself for the painful moment when he wouldn’t know her, but to her joy his face lit up and he waved.
‘Angela, darling!’ he cried, opening his arms. ‘It’s lovely to see you again. Where have you been all this time?’
‘I’ve been around,’ she said cautiously. At all costs she didn’t want to say anything that would trouble him.
‘You should have come to see me. I’ve missed you so much.’
‘Never mind, we’re together now. That’s all that matters.’
‘But where are we, my dear? I don’t seem to know this place.’
‘Come and have breakfast, and we’ll talk.’
To her delight, Sam continued to be cheerful and clear-headed over breakfast. Angel told him about the divorce and he nodded in approval.
‘I wondered why I hadn’t seen Joe around recently. I never did like him, you know.’
‘If you want the truth, neither did I,’ she confided, and they laughed like conspirators.
He was Sam again. Her Sam. The twinkle was back in his eye and the warmth in his gaze as it rested on her.
‘Later I’ll show you the estate,’ she said. ‘You’re going to love Italy.’
‘This is Italy?’ He beamed. ‘But that’s wonderful. We always planned for you to come here to study art, remember?’
‘Yes, I do. And you remember? You really do?’
‘Of course I remember, you silly girl. As though I could forget a thing like that!’
Afterwards they went walking through the garden and he admired the flowers. Angel was overflowing with happiness, praying for this time to last.
Toni, who’d taken an instant liking to Sam, was bounding joyfully around him, although some instinct seemed to warn him against colliding with the frail old man. Then a distant bark alerted Toni to Luca, and the next moment the two dogs were racing for each other.
‘Who’s that?’ Sam asked, pointing to the man working at the end of a row of rose bushes.
