Married Under the Italian Sun

his adoring gaze. It was as though his eyes were touching her, giving soft caresses that thrilled her body as much as his fingertips had done.

She was perfect. She had always been perfect, but this was different. Now it was only for him, and that knowledge seemed to wash away the memories of the other times, when she had been put on display to satisfy Joe Clannan’s vanity.

Vittorio had promised to banish the past for her, and at that moment she truly believed that he could do it.

There was nothing to warn her of the pit that was about to open at her feet.

They put their swimsuits back on before going out into the sun, spread a blanket on the sand, and took out the basket full of wine, rolls and cakes. On this they dined like princes, content simply to be there with each other, asking no more.

When they had finished eating, Angel took a long, blissful breath and rolled over on her back, her head turned up to the sky, her eyes closed.

‘You look like a little kid discovering all this for the first time,’ Vittorio said, grinning. ‘Have you ever been sailing before?’

‘Oh, yes,’ she said, without opening her eyes. ‘Joe thought the summer was wasted if we didn’t spend it on some millionaire’s yacht.’ She chuckled. ‘Heavens, it was boring! I used to take ten swimsuits and none of them ever got wet. They were all for lounging by the pool “on show”.’

When Vittorio didn’t answer, Angel opened her eyes to find him looking at her with a dark expression.

‘Like the one you’re wearing now?’ he asked quietly.

‘This was one of them, yes. I haven’t bought any new clothes recently. I’m making the old ones last. In the old days I just threw them away.’

‘Be quiet,’ he said softly. ‘Never talk of those days to me. Do you think I want to hear how you paraded yourself in front of other men?’

Suddenly there was a hard, ugly note in his voice and it shocked her into sitting up, staring at him in dismay and disbelief.

‘I did not parade myself,’ she said firmly. ‘Joe paraded his trophy wife and I acted a part. I had no choice. That wasn’t really me-’

‘It was your body that they were looking at. How do you think that makes me feel?’

‘Probably the same way it made me feel,’ she said, trying to keep her temper. ‘I hated it.’

‘But you did it.’

Icy fingers were going up and down her spine, and suddenly the air was full of threat.

‘You know why I did it,’ she said. ‘Vittorio, how dare you start getting possessive about something that happened before we met? In those days I didn’t know you existed. I didn’t owe you anything, and I don’t owe you explanations now.’

His eyes were dark, unfathomable, but there was no doubting the cold bitterness in his voice.

‘I shouldn’t be possessive? What do you think I am? An Englishman, saying, “Yes, dear-no, dear-just as you please, dear”? If you belong to me, you belong to me. Do you understand?’

‘I understand that you’re starting to act like Joe,’ Angel said, her temper flaring. ‘And I don’t like it. I had eight years of being a piece of property, dancing to the tune of a man who thought he could own and control me, and it’s not going to happen again. I don’t belong to you, or any man, and I never will. That wasn’t me back then. I was a different person.’

‘You pretend it was-’

‘It’s the truth-’

‘In your mind, maybe, but there’s one part of you for which it can’t be true.’

His eyes travelled slowly over her body that the minute bikini left almost naked, his meaning unmistakable.

‘Don’t look at me like that,’ she choked.

‘I have loved looking at you. You body is more beautiful than I could have believed possible, and I guess the others thought so too, because it’s the same b-’

‘Don’t,’ she said swiftly, putting her hand over his mouth. ‘Don’t say that.’

‘Will not saying it make a difference?’

Angel stared at him, sickened by this sudden development that had happened without warning. They had made love in peace and joy, and then she had lain, innocently naked, before his adoring gaze. The aftermath should have been beautiful. Yet a moment had transformed him into an ugly, judgemental stranger.

‘You’re right,’ she said in a stony voice. ‘It’s thinking it that makes a difference, and I’ll never forgive you for that. My God, it’s only an hour or so ago that you said those men were in the past, that they couldn’t get me again because you’d protect me. But they will get me again, because they’ll come through you, and every man like you. They are you.’

Her voice cracked with anguish as the full horror of the truth burst on her. ‘Do you see what you’ve done? You’ve shown me that there’s no way out for me. I am what Joe Clannan made me. I thought I could escape, but I never can as long as men see me through that distorting prism. And you’re a man like any other. I thought you were different, but you’re not. The truth is that no man is ever different. It’s lucky we found out now, isn’t it?’

Vittorio could neither answer nor look at her. His face was dark, heavy with the thoughts he couldn’t bear to utter. She picked up her clothes and went into the little cave. Now she only wanted to hide her body from him. He made her feel ugly and ashamed.

When she came out he was dressed and putting things into the boat. In silence they pushed it into the sea, and got aboard.

Not a word was spoken as they sailed back to Amalfi. At any other time she would have rejoiced in the journey, with the sun turning the sea to fire. It was a scene to make lovers rejoice, but they were no longer lovers. A black shadow had fallen between them, and Angel had a terrible fear that it would stretch over the rest of her life.

CHAPTER NINE

STILL in silence they got into Vittorio’s car and finished the journey back to the estate. Bitterness seethed in Angel. She wanted to rend him and break his heart as he had broken hers.

After this, she would be as calculating as he clearly thought that she was. She would dismiss him from her employment, but not at once. First she must learn everything he could teach her. She would pick his brains clean. Then, when she was strong enough to manage without him, she would throw him out.

He thought she’d been marked by her previous life. Fine! He would discover that she really had been marked, but not in the way that he thought. Revenge would be sweet, she promised herself, and the thought sustained her the rest of the way.

When the house came into sight she said quietly, ‘I’ll get out here.’

‘It’s getting dark. Let me take you a little closer.’

‘Stop the car, right now.’

He did so, and watched as she got out and walked away. She didn’t look back until she was nearly at the house, and then his tail lights were already vanishing into the distance.

In her room she stripped off and showered, scrubbing herself repeatedly, as though she could scrub off the day and everything that had happened. But there was no way to wash away the feel of Vittorio holding her, or the look in his eyes when he’d turned against her. She would remember that look all her life, and hate him for it until the last moment.

She pulled on a towel robe and returned to the bedroom, switching off the light so that she could go and stand at the window. The moon had risen high, casting a silver sheen on the ocean beneath, giving it a look of unearthly peace.

It was no different from any other night, Angel thought wretchedly. That chill, indifferent tranquillity would