Plain Jane in the Spotlight

we’ll draw a line under it and go our different ways, with no looking back.’

‘Isn’t there always some looking back?’ he asked gently.

‘A little, but we don’t have to be sentimental. What’s done is done.’

‘That’s very good. I just hope you can go on feeling like that. Yearning and regret for what can’t be changed can waste your life. Now, I have to go; they’re beckoning me.’

Left alone, she brooded. Travis’s remarks about the wisdom of not indulging in regrets made her remember his absence the night before. Was he already looking ahead to the day when she would be surplus to his requirements? She guessed he wouldn’t cruelly dump her. He would hand her gently into the arms of another suitor, thus preserving her feelings and her dignity.

She supposed she ought to be grateful to him. She couldn’t imagine why she wasn’t.

‘Can I sit down?’

Looking up, she saw Lee, smiling at her in a way that had once made her heart turn over.

‘Sure,’ she said.

‘I’ve been waiting for the chance, but I didn’t want to disturb you when you were with the great man.’

‘I tried to call you this morning but your phone was switched off.’

‘Yes, it still isn’t working properly,’ he said with an uneasy laugh.

Suddenly she pitied him. Maybe it wasn’t entirely his fault that he was a coward. Not every man could be brave and generous like Travis.

‘Stop worrying,’ she said. ‘It was a false alarm.’

‘You mean you’re not-?’

‘No, I’m not. It’s over. Finito. Kaput. Nothing for you to worry about.’

He beamed. ‘Oh, wow! That’s wonderful. Then everything’s all right.’

‘I suppose if you look at it one way, yes.’ It annoyed her that it didn’t seem to cross his mind that she might be disappointed. She wondered if anyone else’s feelings had ever crossed his mind in his entire life.

‘You’re quite sure, aren’t you?’ he asked anxiously. ‘There’s no chance of a mistake?’

‘No chance at all. Stop worrying.’

His whole being was brilliant with joy. ‘This is so wonderful.’ He leaned forward, seized her face between his hands and planted a smacking kiss on her mouth. ‘Bless you for being a great girl!’

He danced away. Charlene stared after him, confused. Where was the devastation she should be feeling? Where was the disappointed love?

Love! said a scathing voice in her mind. Is that what you called it? More fool you!

She’d longed to believe it was love, especially when she’d thought she was to have his child. But the bleak emptiness showed her a cruel truth. Her ‘love’ had been as much an illusion as his; a fantasy created by a lonely girl who yearned for a feeling of belonging.

There was even an incredible sense of relief that nothing now tied her to this irresponsible boy. She was free. Alone, but free.

‘Charlene, for pity’s sake, what’s the matter?’

Travis suddenly appeared in the seat beside her, seizing her, anxiously searching her face.

‘You look so strange,’ he said frantically. ‘I came back for a moment, and when I saw him kiss you I thought…I don’t know what I thought. But please, tell me you’re all right.’

‘I’m fine, thank you,’ she said lightly. ‘He kissed me from relief, that’s all. He’s got what he wanted.’

‘What about what you want? Did he ever think of that?’ he demanded, unconsciously echoing her own thoughts.

‘That would only have confused him.’

‘Do you want me to punch him?’

She shrugged. ‘Whatever for? Everyone’s happy.’

‘Are they? Are they?’ His eyes, fixed on hers, were angry and dark with meaning.

She was saved from having to answer by the arrival of Vera, offering to take Charlene to see some more of the studio.

‘That sounds great,’ Charlene said cheerfully. ‘Let’s go.’

Her mind seemed to have slipped into another dimension and she enjoyed the tour, especially the last part, where they crept into the rehearsal room just as Travis was confronting Lee in a scene.

‘It’s best to think a little before you speak,’ ‘Dr Harrison’ was saying. ‘Your patients will appreciate it.’

‘I do try,’ Lee was saying in character. ‘But things can get very difficult.’

‘Hey, what happened there?’ called Vince. ‘Travis, you’re supposed to simply stand there and look at him, not reach out as though you meant to hit him.’

‘Sorry,’ Travis said in a tight voice. ‘Something made me jump.’

‘OK, do it again,’ Vince called. ‘Travis, remember you’re full of warm feeling and generosity.’

‘Yeah, right!’

‘Let’s leave them to it,’ Vera murmured, and they slipped away.

Charlene recalled Travis saying he rarely lost his temper and found it hard to cope when he did. But surely he hadn’t lost his temper with Lee?

Yet the look on his face had surprised her, and possibly everyone else in the room. Anger coming out of nowhere.

At the end of the day she went out to wait for him in the car. There were nods and salutations from the others who were leaving, always with an edge of curiosity and respect.

I could get used to this, she thought. OK, so it’s all a con, but who says I can’t enjoy a con while it lasts?

After a few minutes Travis joined her and they relaxed in the back together.

‘Do you ever have to drive yourself?’ she asked.

‘I’m not allowed to drive myself,’ he said, grinning. ‘The bosses say they want me free to think of nothing but my “art”. The truth is that I’m not a brilliant driver and they’re terrified I’ll have an accident that will reflect badly on the show.’

As the car pulled away, Charlene saw Lee watching her from a distance. He waved and quickly stepped back into the shadows. She glanced at Travis, wondering if he’d noticed, but he was looking the other way.

CHAPTER SEVEN

THEY got out a few blocks from his home, and went to dine in a small restaurant.

As they relaxed over the main course, Charlene said, ‘We need to talk about money. You give me too much.’

‘You deserve every penny. I want you to take more and equip yourself with more clothes.’

‘Then I’ll buy them myself.’

‘At LA prices? No way.’

‘I mean it. I’m your useful piece of stage equipment, not your kept woman. This is an arrangement of equals or it’s nothing.’

‘Equals?’ He looked comically alarmed. ‘I don’t do equals.’

‘You’ve never heard of women’s lib?’

‘I’ve heard of it but I try to ignore it. I don’t know! My girlfriend paying for herself. Whatever is the world coming to? Well, at least you have to accept this.’

From his pocket he produced a small jewel box. Inside she found the pearl earrings that he’d left behind on the first night.

‘Sorry about that,’ he said.

‘And the press thinks you’re the great romantic,’ she teased.

He fixed the earrings for her. She had to admit they were beautiful. He thought so too, from the way he was