'Whatever got into you to leave me with egg on my face like that? Everyone was expecting my wife to be there. I had to say you'd been taken ill. Are you going to do that on the big night?'
'No, of course not. The whole thing took me by surprise. I'd never heard of this other list. Why didn't you warn me?'
'I left everything to Lysandra. Besides, what difference does it make which list we use?'
She shrugged. 'None at all, I suppose.'
'You made a fool of me and I can't stand that. We had a bargain and you're not keeping it.'
'Garth, I'm sorry. What I did was-unprofessional, and I regret it.'
'Why, for heaven's sake? Why?'
'I told you, I was caught on the wrong foot. And that new list is horrible. You're only dragging me in because you think you'll sell more houses if you can make people feel warm and good. But there's nothing warm about washing machines. It's all so cynical.'
'I think I know best about marketing my own product.'
'You don't know much about families and these are supposed to be family homes-sorry, 'product', since you have a problem with the idea of homes. You want to sell them to couples with children, people who love each other. Well, most wives and mothers would rather have a piece of tin given with love than all the diamonds in the world in this calculating way.'
'Tin! For Pete's sake!'
'I can remember when you didn't despise tin.'
'I can't.'
'Then it's your loss. When we were first married we ate off tin plates that we bought at a second-hand camping store. In fact, we didn't even buy them. You mended that man's boiler for free, and he gave us some things for the flat.'
'Oh, yes, and I felt ashamed because I'd started our marriage by failing you. I wanted to give you the moon and we ended up with stuff that nobody else wanted.'
'But I didn't care,' she said wildly. If only she could make him understand, even now. 'I was happy just to be with you. I thought you felt the same.'
'I was never happy until I could give you the nice things you deserved. I worked like a Trojan until I had enough for my own little builder's yard, and then a big yard. And then the sky was the limit. I did it for you and all you can do is hark back to the days when I had nothing to give you, because I was nobody.'
'You were somebody to me,' she cried. 'And to the children. But that wasn't enough for you. You've turned into such a different man.'
'Thank goodness!' he said abruptly.
'I'll never say that. I'll never stop mourning the man
I lost. He was all the world to me, but he went away and never came back.' She could see by his face that hi didn't understand. They were strangers shouting in the dark, and a sudden burst of anguish made her cry, 'Oh, Garth, don't you remember?'
He was silent awhile before answering. 'Maybe my memories are different to yours,' he said at last, seeming to speak with difficulty. 'We obviously didn't find the same things important.'
'We thought we were together,' she said with a sigh. 'And we were travelling separate paths all along. And now here we are, in sight of the end.'
'Don't,' he said sombrely. 'Don't look back, Faye. We both know that's a mistake. We've each chosen our lives.'
There was a sadness in his face that she hadn't seen before. Suddenly she leaned over and kissed him. It was an impulse. She wasn't even sure what she wanted to come of it, except perhaps to evoke the old Garth, even if only fleetingly.
For a moment she thought it was happening. After a brief surprise he kissed her back, with a kind of yearning ache. She could feel him trembling, though whether with passion or emotion she wasn't sure. She tightened her arms, seeking to reach the part of him that lived behind the proud barrier. Her strong resolutions vanished. If only she could still touch his heart…
'Garth,' she whispered in a pleading voice, 'try to remember…' He lifted his head to search her face. She could see his eyes and read their trouble and confusion. Then he tensed and broke free from her.
'This isn't a good idea, Faye. You were right all along about it being over.'
'Yes,' she stammered. 'Yes I was…' 'There's nothing for us now but to see this through to the end and say goodbye.' A shudder went through him. 'So, for pity's sake, let's get it over with quickly.'
CHAPTER EIGHT
With a clash of cymbals the orchestra brought the symphony to an end. The conductor turned to receive the well-earned applause. Faye came out of her happy trance. The music had been magnificent and she was reluctant to return to reality with all its problems and confusions.
It was late in the evening, but while the children were at camp she needn't rush home. For their sakes Garth had often managed to return early, but during their absence he'd reverted to staying late at the office. It was as though he and Faye were holding their breaths in this delicate situation.
Daydreaming, she left the concert hall without looking where she was going, and collided with someone. 'I'm terribly sorry, I- Kendall!'
'Hello, darling.' He kissed her cheek.
'Where did you appear from?' she asked, smiling.
'I was at the concert. Come and have a drink with me.'
It was a fine evening and they found a pub with tables outside in the garden, and coloured lights hanging from the trees. Kendall bought cider for himself, orange juice for Faye and hot dogs for both of them.
'Fancy you going to a classical concert,' Faye said. 'Where were you sitting?'
After an awkward pause Kendall said, 'All right, I didn't actually go to the concert. I knew you'd be there because I was with you when you bought the ticket, ages ago. I waited outside.'
It was nice to know that he was so eager to see her, but the little lie troubled her. Then she determinedly pushed it out of her head.
'I've missed you,' Kendall said.
'And I you.'
'Well, there's always the television,' he said, speaking apparently lightly but with a significant edge.
'Television?'
'Last night. What did you think?'
With a gasp of dismay she remembered that Kendall had been on a talk show, due to be broadcast the previous evening.
'It's all right,' he said, reading her face. 'I don't suppose you could watch it with him around.'
She wasn't fooled by his easy tone. Kendall had a touch of vanity about his media appearances. Faye had always found this slightly endearing and had fondly made much of him, while he basked in her admiration. She knew she ought to make amends now by inventing a convincing excuse, but suddenly she was too tired for white lies and the truth came out before she could think properly.
'Kendall, I'm sorry, Garth wasn't even in last night. But I've got so much on my mind just now-'
'That you didn't give me a thought. Fair enough.' He spoke with a kind of determined brightness that set her at a distance.
'Kendall, please-'
'Forget it. I'm sure you're having a very difficult time. Is your husband making life hard?'
'Not really. He's behaving well to the children. It's lovely to see him with Cindy. She just basks in his attention. And he's doing better with Adrian, too. But I worry that he's just using them.'
'I suppose he might have honestly seen the light. Perhaps he's afraid of a lonely old age.' Kendall shrugged. 'I should think he's certainly heading for one.'
