'Garth's not afraid of anything. He's got too much self-confidence. He's- Oh, I don't how how to say it-'
It was useless trying to define Garth. The more she tried, the more he slipped through her fingers. She could describe his manner and his infuriating behaviour. But there were no words for his sudden grin, full of devilment and charm, or the wild wonderment of his dreams. Once he'd shared those dreams with her and it had been like watching shooting stars. But that was a long time ago.
She gave up, remembering that it irked Kendall to hear too much about Garth. 'Tell me how things are with you,' she said.
'There's not a lot going on in my life at the moment,' he said. 'I work, and I think of you.'
'Have you finished your book yet?'
'I told you I had, at the football match.'
'Oh, yes, you did. Sorry, I forgot. Are you happy with it?'
'I'm never happy with my writing, you know that.'
'Yes, you were always changing things until the last minute.'
She persevered with the theme of his writing, conscientiously asking all the right questions, until the subject was exhausted. She searched for another one then realized, with dismay, what she was doing. She and Kendall had always found plenty to talk about. Yet tonight something was wrong. The air didn't vibrate with excitement as it did when Garth was around.
But she wasn't her usual self at the moment, she remembered with relief. When things returned to normal everything would be well between them again. But try as she might, she couldn't find the elusive spark that would bring her alive in Kendall's company.
'It's very late,' she said at last. 'I should be getting home now.'
'I'll walk you to your car.'
She tucked her hand in his arm and everything was comfortable between them, as it had always been. But it was no longer enough. When they reached the car she said, almost desperately, 'Kiss me goodnight.'
Kendall's embrace was the same as always but his kiss didn't thrill her, and now she wondered if it ever really had.
'Faye…' Kendall said tensely.
'Kiss me again,' she pleaded.
'Better not. Your thoughts were wandering. Like I told you, it has to be all or nothing with me. Goodnight, Faye.'
As she went through the front door Faye could hear Garth's voice from behind his study door, sounding as though he was on the phone. She was glad, as she couldn't bear to talk. She went up the stairs, straight to her own room.
A shower made her feel better. Wrapping a soft towelling dressing gown about her she returned to the bedroom and switched off all the lights except a soft lamp by her dressing table. Her mind was in turmoil.
Something had been different tonight and Kendall had recognized it too. It was all because of Garth. He'd kissed her that first night and her body had responded out of sheer surprise. If she'd been more prepared she might have stilled those treacherous impulses. But she hadn't stilled them and the memories had remained. They had prompted her to reach out to him on the evening after the disastrous press show. But he hadn't wanted her. They'd grown too far apart. There was an ache of desolation in her heart.
She remembered the lithe firmness of Garth's body and how good it felt to hold it. He'd been a generous as well as a skilful lover, warm and tender and eager for her pleasure as well as his own.
She knew it was dangerous to dwell on these memories, but they were part of the happiest time of her life. The fulfilment hadn't just been physical. Garth's love had filled the world, making her feel valued and totally a woman. Without her even knowing it, a smile touched her lips. Then it faded into a sigh.
She was so absorbed in her reverie that she didn't see the door open and Garth enter quietly. He stood watching her, his eyes darkening with anger at the look of tender introspection on her face. She thought she was alone, so it wasn't teasing that made her lips curl in that sweet smile as if she was thinking of something-or someone-who made her blissfully happy.
Suddenly she seemed to become aware of him and turned her head. 'You shouldn't be here,' she said.
'I wanted to talk to you.' He looked like a man under terrible strain, and his eyes were haggard.
'Garth, you can't just walk into my room. We had an agreement-'
'It's not me that's breaking it, Faye. You gave your word that there'd be no dates with Haines-'
'I didn't make a date with him-'
'Don't lie to me! You were with him tonight. I saw you as I drove home.'
'I said I didn't make a date with him, not that I didn't see him. I bumped into Kendall as I came out of the concert and had a drink with him. That's all.'
'Not quite all. You were kissing him.'
'You really studied us, didn't you? Or are you just protecting your investment?'
'I don't like people who don't keep their word.'
'It was an accident.'
'Was kissing him an accident?'
'No, I did that because I wanted to,' she said defiantly.
'And to hell with me?'
'I never gave you a thought,' she said, meeting his eyes. 'What's this all about, Garth? You said yourself there's nothing for us now but to see this through to the end and say goodbye.'
'Perhaps I've changed my mind,' he said, reaching for her determinedly.
'Oh, no!' She put up a hand. 'Our agreement-'
'You broke it, Faye. Now it's my turn. I don't like being overlooked and I'm not going to be any longer.' Before she could protest he covered her mouth with his own, kissing her with fierce, angry intent.
As soon as their lips touched Faye knew what had been missing from Kendall's kiss. The opposition of her mind meant nothing while Garth could still cause vibrations of pleasure to go through her at his lightest touch. Anger at the way he simply took what he wanted warred with a pleasure that her body had once known, and for which it still yearned.
She couldn't cope with her feelings because they reminded her how totally he could possess her. Worse still, they brought back the hot, sweet nights of their early love. With that love gone, it was cruel that her flesh still responded to him.
'Let me go, Garth,' she told him, eyes blazing.
'Why should I? This was what you wanted the other night.'
'Like you, I've changed my mind. Let me go now.'
'Am I trespassing on Kendall Haines's property? Do you think I care?'
'I'm not his property, and I'm not yours.'
'You were mine once, because that was how you wanted it. You gave yourself to me completely, with trust and love. Do you remember that, Faye?'
'Don't,' she whispered.
'Why not? Do you think I'm going to let you wipe our past away as though it never existed? It did exist. It lived, and it's part of us both, however much you wish it wasn't.'
She struggled to speak firmly. She wouldn't let him win. 'I don't remember anything, Garth. The past is dead.'
'Damn you,' he said softly.
He took possession of her mouth, and the pleasure was so poignant that she gasped. The hand she put up was meant to push him away but somehow it ended by caressing him instead, fingers in his hair, turning and twisting, enjoying the springy feel.
He tugged at the belt of her bathrobe until it came loose and he could pull the robe from her shoulders and embrace her totally. Half knowing what she did, Faye began to open the buttons of his shirt. She wanted everything about him: his agility and strength, his skill and tenderness, all the things that had once been hers. So much had gone for ever but there was still the pleasure of clinging to him, feeling his hands wandering over her, making her come alive.
Garth held her against him, looking down into her flushed, dreamy face.
