marry him.’
Harriet stared, and the only words that came into her head were, ‘Let’s have a cup of tea.’
When they were seated Harriet said, ‘Would you mind repeating that?’
‘I say you must marry Marco. You think I’m
‘No, I don’t think you’re crazy, but I do wonder why Marco’s marriage matters to you.’
‘Why should I worry about a man in my past? And yet I do. Perhaps I feel a little guilty. Since we parted life has gone well for me, not for him. My friends who know him say that it was as if he shrivelled up inside, and began to keep the world at a distance. For that, I am, perhaps, to blame.’
‘It’s not your fault if you changed your mind,’ Harriet ventured.
‘No, but I should have had the courage to break our engagement honestly. You see, Marco feels too much. He
‘Yes,’ Harriet said. ‘Quite soon after I went to Italy I began to sense what he was hiding. He even hides it from himself.’
‘Ah, that’s bad. That too is my fault. Once he hid nothing. He overwhelmed me, and gradually I began to feel that it was more than I wanted. He was jealous, my whole life must belong to him. I became bored, and my love died. I fell in love with another man, but I didn’t tell Marco. I worried about what he would do and besides, the man was married. His wife had money, he didn’t want to leave her-’
Alessandra shrugged. Harriet maintained a diplomatic silence. She was on the verge of learning the key to Marco and she wasn’t going to risk losing her chance through showing her opinion of this self-centred woman.
‘Then I discovered that I was pregnant,’ Alessandra continued. ‘Marco saw me have a dizzy spell, and guessed. He assumed the baby was his-’
‘Could it have been?’
‘You mean was I sleeping with them both? Yes. The timing made Harvey more likely, but Marco didn’t know about him so he just took it for granted that the child was his, and immediately began to plan our wedding. I argued for a delay but-you know how he can be.’
Harriet nodded.
‘He was overjoyed-I tried to tell him the truth-but I confess I was scared of him. He can be a very frightening man. There is much love in him, and much hate when his anger is roused. He feels everything too much. That’s why he struggles to hide it. If people knew they would think him weak and use it against him.’
‘So what happened?’ Harriet asked.
‘One day Marco returned early from a business trip and came to my apartment without warning. He let himself in with his own key. Harvey was with me. We were making love.’
Harriet winced and closed her eyes.
‘Of course it came out, about the child,’ Alessandra said.
‘What did he say?’
‘Nothing. Not a word. He just stood there looking a man who was dying. Then he walked out. That was the last time I saw him. He sent me a note saying that he’d told people the wedding was off by mutual consent. Both of us had realised that we’d made a mistake. Of course I agreed to that.
‘By that time Harvey’s wife had found out about us and her brothers were on the warpath. He’s English, so we ran away to England, and our son was born here. He really is Harvey’s child. We did a test to make sure. But nobody in Rome knew the exact date of his birth, so they couldn’t count back and realise that I must have betrayed Marco during our engagement. In Rome they still believe it was “mutual consent” and I’m glad for Marco’s sake. It would have killed him if the truth was known. People would have laughed.
‘There were rumours, you see. People had warned him that I had a roving eye, and he’d refused to listen. He is a loyal and faithful man, and that is how he loves.’
‘Not any more. I think all that died, and now he doesn’t know how to love.’
‘No,’ Alessandra said urgently. ‘No man with his capacity for love really loses it. He hides it, he tries to deny it, but it’s always there. One day he was bound to fall in love again. I’m glad it was with you. I think you’ll be good for him.’
‘You’re wrong. Marco isn’t in love with me.’
‘Nonsense, of course he is. What do you think he’s been doing here for weeks when he should have been in Rome fighting for that partnership?’
‘But he got the partnership before he left-’ Harriet protested. Alessandra’s raised eyebrows gave her a strange feeling.
‘Not according to my cousin who works there. It’s gone to somebody else. It’s already been announced.’
Harriet had been pacing but now she sat down abruptly. ‘Why did you come here?’ she asked.
‘To clear my conscience and try to put right the harm I did him. I owe him that. Don’t give up on him Harriet. He couldn’t endure it a second time.’
Two days passed with no sign of him. In that time she ran the whole gamut of emotions from joy, hope, disbelief, despair. After what Alessandra had told her she urgently needed to see Marco, to look into his eyes and discover if it was true that he loved her.
At last she heard a foot on the step that was unmistakably his, and looked up smiling, but the smile faded. This was Marco at his most formal, dressed for departure in an overcoat. He looked as though he hadn’t slept.
‘Are you taking a trip?’ she asked.
‘I’m going back to Rome.’
‘For a few days?’
‘For good. I shan’t be coming back.’
The thud over her heart was like a punch. ‘I see.’
‘But before I leave I must give you this.’ He took an envelope from his briefcase and handed it to her.
Moving mechanically she pulled out a paper and tried to read it, but the words danced before her eyes. Only one thought possessed her. He was going away, and in a few moments her life would be over. Somehow there must be a way to prevent him but her brain had become a terrible blank. The thudding of her heart seemed to fill the world.
‘Read it,’ he said quietly.
She tried to concentrate on the paper, and this time she made out figures, the amount of her debt to him. It was a receipt.
‘This paper says I own the shop-but how can I?’
There was a look of intolerable sadness in his eyes. ‘I could say that you repaid me what you owed, if it didn’t offend me to speak of your gifts to me in terms of money. You’ve given me so much more than you’ll ever know, so much more than I deserve.’
He looked around him. ‘When I think how I came here that first day, so sure of myself, so confident that everything could be arranged to suit me, I want to shudder at the man I was then. He’s gone now, thanks to you. This is so little in return.’ He indicated the paper. ‘I’d hoped to give it to you-well-under happier circumstances. Now I think that’s not going to happen. I want you to have it anyway.’
‘But-’ she stammered, frantically trying to find the words ‘-you can’t just leave the shop with me. I’ll make a mess of it again.’
‘Not after all I’ve taught you,’ he said with a faint smile. He brushed a stray wisp of hair back from her forehead.
‘I wasn’t a very good pupil.’
‘You were the best kind of pupil. One who taught her teacher far more than he taught her. I shall carry your lessons all my life.’
‘I shan’t carry yours,’ she said wildly. ‘I’ll forget them and go bankrupt. Besides, what became of the sharp- eyed businessman? You can’t just give me all this money. Think of the shocking tax.’
‘Tax?’ he echoed, trying to keep up with her.
‘Never forget the tax angle. You taught me that.’
He didn’t answer for a moment. He’d understood now that she was following some new track of her own, and he was trying to keep up.
‘What-are you saying?’ he asked quietly at last.
