He winced. ‘Yes, there was a proper announcement about a son and heir being born to the Prince of Montegiano. But you should have seen what the papers made of the other juicy little item, when the boy turned out to be the son and heir of the princess’s fitness instructor.’
She heard the pain in his voice, and saw it in his twisted smile. How much was wounded love for a woman who had betrayed him? she wondered. And how much was humiliation, because the world knew he was a cuckold?
Did it matter? Whatever the truth, his misery was intense.
‘Let’s have some dinner,’ she said briskly. ‘Everything looks better on a full stomach.’ She handed him the room-service menu. ‘I feel like a feast.’
She was afraid that he might demur at the idea of her treating him, but he simply looked contented. When the feast was chosen she said, with a twinkle, ‘I’ll leave the wines to you.’
‘Tactful lady!’
‘Well, I’m not going to risk choosing wines for an Italian, and a Roman at that.’
‘Not only tactful but also wise.’
‘We’ll do it properly,’ she said. ‘A different wine with every course. And champagne.’
‘Champagne?’
Just having him here was a cause for celebration, but she couldn’t say that so she just gave a private smile of happiness.
When the meal arrived they gave it all their attention for a while. Gustavo said little, but now and then he glanced across at her, as though making sure that she was still there.
After a while, when it seemed to her that he was more relaxed, Joanna said gently, ‘What happened?’
‘What happened was that I made the biggest mistake any man has ever made,’ he said slowly. ‘I gave my whole heart and soul to a woman who had no heart to give back. She fed me a line and I fell for it.’
‘But she was crazy about you. I saw you together.’
He shook his head. ‘No, she wanted me to be crazy about her. It’s not the same thing. And she knew how to make me crazy. It was the title. She fancied being a princess. She as good as admitted it eventually.’
‘How long did it take you to see the truth?’
‘Much longer than it should have done. I couldn’t let myself admit that she was greedy, selfish and cold. Which probably makes me a coward.’
His voice was sharp with bitterness and self-mockery.
‘Don’t be so hard on yourself,’ Joanna urged.
‘Why not? Someone should be hard on me for being such a fool. And with you I can be honest because you know the truth that nobody else knows.’
She gazed at him, shocked that everything she had tried to do for him had come to this.
‘But it wasn’t your fault. You wouldn’t be the first man in the world to be taken in.’
‘No, but-here’s the joke-I considered myself being above that sort of thing. After all, I was a Montegiano, a man of pride and position.’
He gave a gruff laugh. ‘Joanna, you have no idea of the stupidity of a boy of twenty-two who’s been raised to think too well of himself. He makes mistake after mistake. The merest country bumpkin would have known better than I did.’
She held her breath, knowing what it must cost him to reveal himself like this, praying not to spoil everything by a clumsy word.
‘You’ve really been through the mill, haven’t you?’ she asked.
He shrugged.
‘Don’t you have friends you can talk to?’
‘There’s nobody I can admit all this to, the way I can to you. You’re the only person in the world who could understand because you saw things nobody else saw. We haven’t seen each other for twelve years, yet in an odd way you know me better than anyone alive.’
He passed his hand over his eyes.
‘Perhaps that’s why I came running after you. I need to be with you, talk to you, even lean on you. That isn’t very dignified, I know-’
‘Why does it have to be dignified?’ she said urgently. ‘Why can’t you ask for my help if you need it? I’m your friend, Gustavo, and if my friendship can help you then it’s there.’
She took his hand. ‘Talk to me, Gustavo. Tell me all the things you’ve been hiding away under that tightly buttoned-down exterior of yours. Because if you don’t let them out soon, you’ll go crazy.’
Joanna had a sudden sense of standing at a crossroads, of being given back the chance she’d overlooked years ago: the chance to be the friend he badly needed.
It wasn’t love. It might even stand in the way of love. But it was what he craved from her, and she would not fail him.
‘Tell me,’ she said softly. ‘When did it start to go wrong? You were so happy at first.’
‘At first I thought I’d landed in heaven. She seemed the perfect wife, beautiful, loving, always looking for ways to please me. My vanity was so colossal that I accepted that as natural.’
‘Why shouldn’t you?’ she burst out indignantly. It hurt her to hear him put himself down. ‘If you love someone you do want to please them, because when they’re happy, you’re happy. Wasn’t it that way with you too?’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I loved finding ways to give her pleasure. That’s why we went to Las Vegas. All I wanted was some quiet place where I could be alone with her, but she didn’t like quiet places. She wanted excitement. I always knew we were different in that way, but I thought the love would help us overcome that.’
‘But it didn’t?’
‘How can it when it’s all on one side?’ he asked quietly.
‘But she did love you once.’
‘Did she? Even now I wish I could believe it. I suppose she loved me well enough when she got her own way, but I started to realise that I was always the one to yield.
‘For a while even that didn’t matter. She got pregnant and I was thrilled. Yes, I wanted a son, I don’t deny it. And when it was a girl, I was disappointed-for about five minutes. Then I saw how gorgeous she was and I forgot all about wanting a son.
‘As she grew older I loved her more, because she’s so like my mother. She looks like her, she has her mental sharpness, and her stubbornness.’ He gave a wry laugh. ‘Mamma also saw the world in her own way, and you could point out the facts until you were blue in the face.’
‘But Renata’s a child,’ Joanna reminded him. ‘She’ll understand in time.’
‘You wouldn’t say that if you’d known Mamma.’
‘I did. Well, I met her briefly.’
‘Yes, she liked you a lot. She was furious with me for letting you go.’ He gave a brief laugh. ‘If you could have heard what she called me.’
Joanna laughed. ‘And you took no notice because you’re as stubborn as her. The line passes from her to Renata through you.’
‘Yes,’ he admitted ruefully. ‘And it makes me wonder if Renata will ever turn back to me. There’s something implacable about her that makes me afraid.’
‘Was Renata close to Crystal?’
‘She wanted to be. She longed to be pretty like her mother, and Crystal would have liked a daughter who looked like a dainty fairy, which Renata doesn’t.’
‘She’s better than that,’ Joanna said at once. ‘Her looks are going to be striking when she grows up.’
‘That’s what I think,’ he said eagerly. ‘But Crystal couldn’t see it. She lost interest. The poor little kid was always trying to get her mother’s attention, always wondering why she couldn’t have it.’
‘It sounds to me as if her fantasies started right back then,’ Joanna mused.
‘How do you mean?’
‘We all tell each other fairy tales to cope with the pain of rejection,’ she said, not looking at him. ‘Renata invented another Crystal, one who was proud of her and wanted to be with her. In her mother’s presence she had to face the reality, but when she was alone she could believe the fairy-tale version. Now Crystal’s gone that version has taken over, but it actually began long ago.’
‘Of course it did,’ Gustavo said, looking at her quickly. ‘Why didn’t I see it before?’
