‘Yes, you were,’ she agreed. ‘But just how nuts would you have been if I hadn’t had a nice fat bank balance?’
He considered this seriously. ‘The point is that you were always likely to. I had just enough cash of my own to move among moneyed people, so I met rich ladies. The odds were always in my favour.’
She had to laugh at this. His good-natured face was so guileless.
‘I’m surprised you’re not playing the odds again by this time,’ she said.
He frowned. ‘The problem is, knowing exactly what the odds are.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘If I did marry again, I suppose the allowance you pay me would stop.’
‘You mean I might regard it as her job to support you, rather than mine?’
‘I can imagine a lot of women being difficult about it.’
‘Not me. How could you think I’d let the father of my son go short?’
He crowed with laughter. ‘That’s the spirit.’
‘Why is it so important, anyway? If she’s rich enough to afford you-’
‘Yes, but a fellow likes to have a little independence,’ he said, totally straight-faced, which left her speechless.
‘You are totally shameless,’ she said at last. ‘I mean, I’ve never known anyone like you.’
‘There isn’t anyone like me. I’m the one and only. Buy while stocks last. Only I’ll soon be getting a bit beyond my sell-by date, so it’s time to think about the future.’
‘Do you have an ideal in mind-money apart, that is?’
‘Well, she shouldn’t be too serious. I like to have a good time and to blazes with tomorrow. But most women don’t seem to be made like that.’
‘Crystal is,’ Joanna sighed.
‘Yes, but she’s a bit short of the readies at the moment. Gustavo still has to hand over the other half of her money, and she’s asking for it faster than he can manage.’
She looked at him quickly. ‘How do you know that?’
‘She told me. We’ve got to know each other quite well in these last few days. She finds me a handy shoulder to cry on. They’re having a bit of an argument about it. Hasn’t he told you?’
‘No, he hasn’t.’
‘Ah, well, he might find it a bit difficult. Reasons of delicacy and all that.’ He said this as though speaking a foreign language.
After a moment he went on, ‘It’s a pity, because in an ideal world you and Gustavo would get married fast, and that would solve everyone’s problems.’
‘Freddy, are you going to be vulgar again?’
‘Probably. The most practical solutions usually are vulgar to people of refined sensibilities.’
‘How would you know? You wouldn’t recognise a refined sensibility if it came up and bopped you on the nose.’
‘Yes, I would, and I’d bop it first. Serve it right for causing so much trouble in the world.’
‘What are you burbling about now?’ she asked, trying to speak severely but unable not to laugh.
‘I’m saying that if you were to marry Gustavo, he could afford to repay Crystal her money, and then she’d be out of his hair, and yours. And of course, once she’s regained her fortune-well-’
‘Are you daring to suggest-?’
‘Well, you said it yourself, I need a rich wife. And I think she and I might deal very well together.’
It dawned on her that he was perfectly right. He and Crystal were ideally suited.
‘And the kids would love it,’ Freddy added. ‘Keep it all in the family, so to speak.’
He was right about that too. In fact, he was so right in every cynical suggestion that she dived hastily back into the pool.
It was a good day and everyone felt better when they were making their way back to the house in the late afternoon, ready to dress up for a good dinner.
Joanna was down first, finding Crystal in the library.
‘Are you cross with me?’ Crystal asked. ‘You’ve been giving me glowering looks all day. I hate it when people are cross with me.’
‘If I’m cross it’s because of the way you hurt Renata.’
‘Me? I’ve been delightful to her.’
‘How about flaunting those pictures of Toni, when you don’t keep any of her?’
‘Did she look in my bag? She shouldn’t have done.’
‘She was looking for reassurance that you carry her pictures too. And you don’t. That hurt her, Crystal.’
‘Oh, hell!’ Crystal gave a despairing sigh and ran her hands through her hair. ‘Look, I- You think I’m a monster, don’t you?’
‘Well-I can’t imagine taking as little interest in Billy as you seem to take in Renata.’
‘I know, I know, but I can’t help it. It’s not my fault. Something happened when she was born-or rather, something didn’t happen. The first time I held her I waited for that rush of love you’re supposed to get, and there was absolutely nothing. I tried and tried, but I couldn’t feel anything.’
Joanna remembered her first sight of Billy, and the love that had swept through her like a hurricane. She felt a moment’s sympathy for Crystal, who hadn’t known that incredible joy. Perhaps she shouldn’t be blamed too much for being unable to bond.
But the next moment some of her sympathy evaporated, when Crystal said, ‘If only she’d been a boy! I wanted a boy so much. All those months of getting thicker and uglier, and feeling awful. Of course Gustavo wanted an heir, and I wanted to give him one and get it out of the way.
‘I had a bad birth. It just went on for ages and ages, and all the time I was thinking, Please let it be a boy, so I need never do this again. And then she turned out to be a girl and I was so angry.’
‘Angry?’
‘I was tired,’ Crystal said defensively. ‘I ached all over, and Gustavo was saying things like, “Never mind, darling. Next time.” Like that was supposed to make me feel better. And I knew every last person on the estate was going to be disappointed in me, and I just felt fed up.’
‘Fed up,’ Joanna echoed. Crystal’s petulant self-centredness was so overwhelming that it was almost impressive.
‘Of course the estate people were interested,’ she pointed out. ‘If the prince doesn’t have an heir it affects them all.’
‘Yes, well, it was no fun being a princess,’ Crystal said sulkily. ‘I thought it would be, but it wasn’t.’
‘Is that why you married him? For the title? You didn’t love him at all?’
‘I don’t really know,’ Crystal said, considering this. ‘Yes, I suppose I was in love with him, in a sort of way. He seemed glamorous and exciting then. I thought that was how we’d live, going to all the thrilling places in the world, meeting everyone who mattered. But all Gustavo wanted was to bury himself in this place and spend every penny on it.
‘Oh, we went travelling sometimes. He took me to New York every year. But even then he spent half his time on the phone to Renata’s nurse, wanting to know if everything was all right. And he couldn’t wait to get home. Lord, but he’s dull to live with!’
‘Dull? Gustavo?’
‘He doesn’t know how to have fun.’
‘I suppose he has his own idea of fun.’
‘Yes, old bones and bricks. History. Estate accounts. No, thank you!’
Suddenly she burst out, ‘I can’t help the way I’m made. It’s not my fault. I can’t make myself feel what I don’t feel.’
‘No, I suppose not,’ Joanna sighed.
‘I tried for years, but I couldn’t manage it. I should never have married him. He should have married you. You’re as dull as him.’
‘Yes, I suppose I am,’ Joanna said, without resentment.
You couldn’t be angry with Crystal, she reflected. Part of her was still a child, and knew no better.
