to cope with. I wonder how much more there was?’
‘I don’t know-and I’m sure he doesn’t,’ Polly reflected. ‘It was all built on fantasies, because he knew nothing about her-not that she was married, or that she had a secret agenda. He didn’t even know her real name. I know how you must feel about her, but please don’t hate her.’
‘Once I might have done,’ Hope admitted. ‘But she ended so sadly that I must forgive her. Is this where you lived together?’
‘Yes, until just a few weeks ago. Then she went into hospital for the last time.’
‘She was beautiful,’ Hope said, studying the pictures.
‘It was more than just beauty. She had that extra “something” that we’d all like to have. A kind of magic. I think he’s been trying to cope by pretending to himself that that it really was just a holiday romance. He might have managed it if I hadn’t turned up. Now he has to face what actually happened, and I don’t think he knows how.’
‘But you’ll help him, won’t you?’ Hope urged. ‘You are special to him because of her. You’re the only one he can turn to now. I, his mother, say so.’
‘I’ll do my best. I want things to turn out well for little Matthew.’
‘And only for him? Oh, yes-you are engaged to be married, aren’t you? I forgot.’
When they had gone to bed Polly lay awake, feeling the little flat full of ghosts. Freda seemed to be here again, chattering feverishly about herself and her conquests, especially Ruggiero.
‘He was so strong, Polly, and that makes a man so much more exciting. He’d hold me tight in his arms and love me and love me and love me, all through the night. But he always had energy for more.’
By then her sickness had been far advanced, her beauty gone, and Polly had listened kindly to the tales of triumphs that would never come again.
‘He’s an athlete, you know,’ Freda had purred. ‘Likes to live an active life. Well, I could see that as soon as he was naked-all well-developed muscles and not an ounce of fat. Just looking at him, I knew he was made for love.’ Then she’d given Polly a sideways glance, with a touch of malice. ‘I don’t disturb you, talking like that, do I?’
‘No,’ Polly had said. ‘You don’t.’
It was true. In those days Ruggiero had had no reality for her. Freda’s descriptions had conjured up no pictures.
But things had changed. Now that she’d seen him and held him in her arms the words came alive with vivid meaning.
‘I knew he was made for love.’
She sat up sharply, breathing hard, staring into the darkness.
‘Nonsense,’ she said to herself.
Suddenly it was impossible to sleep. She had to get up and walk restlessly about.
‘It’s getting to me,’ she muttered. ‘I need to finish this, come home, get a job, live a normal life-whatever that is-and forget about him.’
It was impossible. She could vividly recall running her fingers over his skin, seeking injuries; a coolly professional action at the time, but one which brought her senses alive in retrospect.
But what affected her even more was the memory of him clasping her hand with painful intensity as he begged for some pictures of the woman he’d loved, and spoke the terrible words ‘too late’.
In her mind she heard Hope saying, ‘You are special to him,’ and was dismayed at the tiny flicker of pleasure she’d felt until Hope had quenched it by adding, ‘because of her.’
Special to him, but only because of her, she thought. I guess I’d better remember that, just in case I get any silly ideas.
She lay down again, and, by dint of talking sensibly to herself, finally managed to get to sleep.
Next morning was chaos. Iris, the friend caring for Matthew, called early to say that one of her own children was being whisked to hospital with a broken leg, and she needed to offload the baby fast.
‘Joe will pass your house on the way to the hospital.’
Joe, her husband, turned up half an hour later with Matthew. The toddler, sensing a crisis, was bawling at the top of his voice, drowning out Polly’s attempts to introduce Hope, enquire after the injured daughter, and thank him.
Luckily Hope knew all about babies, and picked him up without the slightest fuss or bother. Polly had thought of so many things to say, but nothing was necessary. Hope cooed and smiled-until the noise died suddenly, and grandson and grandmother were left considering each other in silence.
He burped.
A broad smile broke over Hope’s face and she laughed in delight. At once he returned the smile, burping again. Hope pulled him tightly against her and dropped her head so that her face was hidden. When she raised it again there were tears on her cheeks.
‘My grandson,’ she said huskily. ‘Oh, yes, he’s mine. We knew each other at once.’
As they got ready to leave Hope said, ‘Why don’t you call your fiance and invite him to join us tonight at Justin and Evie’s place?’
‘That’s kind of you,’ Polly said hastily. ‘But I don’t think he could get away-’
‘But you won’t know if you don’t ask him. Or you could slip out and see him now. We have a few extra hours, since Matthew is here early, so you could make use of them.’
Polly assented, because she guessed her refusals might start to sound unconvincing. It would give her a couple of hours to do some shopping.
‘Have you had a good time?’ Hope asked as soon as she arrived home.
‘Wonderful, thank you,’ she said brightly.
She just about managed to infuse her manner with delight, as befitted a woman who’d seized a few stolen minutes with her lover, but she wasn’t enough of an actress to carry it further, so when Hope would ask more questions she gave a little shriek.
‘Is that the time? We should be going or we’ll be late.’
Soon they were on their way to Justin and Evie’s home, and mercifully Hope dropped the subject. She talked instead about the phone call she’d had with Ruggiero.
‘I told him all about his son, how beautiful he is. I said you were out so little Matthew and I were getting to know each other. He sounded very pleased.’
Polly longed to ask if Hope had told Ruggiero that she was meeting Brian, but she didn’t dare. Instead she said how much she was looking forward to talking to Evie again, and soon they reached their destination.
After the tense misery of the last year it was wonderful to visit a cheerful home, with a husband and wife who loved each other, their baby twins, and Justin’s teenage son. Evie and Hope went into a happy huddle over Matthew, who was all smiles for a while, but then tried to play a rough game with the family puppy, who objected and ran away. The toddler vented his frustration in a screaming fit.
‘Just like his father,’ Hope observed, picking him up. ‘He always roared at the world when it didn’t dance to his tune.’
Her eyes met Polly’s and the silent message, And he hasn’t changed, flashed between them.
‘You two really understand each other,’ Evie said when she and Hope were alone. ‘Have you decided on her?’
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Hope said with an air of innocence.
‘Oh, yes, you do,’ Evie chuckled. ‘You pick out a daughter-in-law and pull strings until you get her.’
‘I merely like to ensure the best for my sons,’ Hope said.
‘And you’ve decided on Polly. Go on, admit it.’
‘She might be the making of him,’ Hope agreed. ‘But we have to go carefully.’
‘Yes, her fiance might get in the way a little.’
‘I don’t think so,’ Hope mused. ‘No, I really don’t think so at all.’
They flew back to Italy the next day. Polly spent the last half hour looking out of the plane window, trying to understand the sudden nervousness that had come over her.
Ruggiero was in her thoughts all the time, but he’d been at a safe distance. Now she would be with him again, and the awareness that had come to her so suddenly, two nights ago, was disturbing her. She wasn’t sure what to think, but she’d know when she saw him.
It was just fancy, she tried to reassure herself. I’m a severely practical person. This sort of thing just doesn’t
