He spoke grumpily but he wasn’t angry any more. Nor was I.
‘Haven’t you got anything to tell me?’ he asked.
‘I thought you were embarrassed. I thought-’
‘No, no.’ He stopped me with a finger over my lips. ‘Those aren’t the right words.’
‘What are the right words?’
‘You know them.’
I smiled at him. Inside I was smiling all over. ‘I love you, Jack.’
He gave a yell of triumph.
I don’t know if he grabbed me or I grabbed him, but for a long time nobody said any words at all. And when we came up for air Grandad was in the kitchen, making tea.
‘You two took your time,’ he said as he poured for us. ‘Is it on now? Or are you just waiting for something else to misunderstand each other about?’
‘It’s all on now,’ Jack said, watching me with a warmth in his eyes that seemed to reach out and enfold me. ‘It’s on for life. Isn’t it?’
I nodded. ‘For life.’
‘I wanted to tell you everything myself.’
‘Including the bribery and corruption?’
‘I guess I’m just one of the family. But I don’t mean to make a career of it. It was just the once, for you. And I only left a message so that you should know as soon as possible. When I got back to the office I found Gracie there. So I took her to lunch and made everything right between us-the way you said.’
‘
‘You gave me the clue about how lonely she was. I followed that up, and you were right. It made it easy to tell her that I’m leaving the firm for a while.’
‘What? But it’s your firm. How can you leave it?’
‘I’ll become a sleeping partner. Peter can run things. Maybe in a couple of years I’ll go back, but I have other things I want to do first-if you agree.’
‘Tell me about the other things,’ I said, but I thought I knew the answer.
Grandad refilled his cup and Jack said absently, ‘Thanks, Nick.’
‘Why do you keep calling me Nick? Who’s Nick?’
Jack gave the grin I loved. ‘I’ll tell you that when we’re on our way.’
‘Are we going somewhere?’ Grandad asked.
‘As soon as you’re ready.’
He was like a big kid, keeping a secret. I might guess the secret, but he was only going to tell in his own good time-although I could tell he was bursting with it.
The sun had started to come up when we left the house, and Jack headed the car north, towards the nearby canal.
‘So who’s Nick?’ Grandad demanded from the back seat.
‘He was my grandpa,’ Jack told him. ‘You’re so like him that it’s eerie.’
Grandad considered. ‘You mean he was an old fool too?’
Jack laughed. ‘Something like that. But he was my old fool and I was nuts about him.’
We parked near a bridge and went to look down into the water.
‘There,’ Jack said. ‘Do you see her? She’s called
She was the loveliest barge I’d ever seen-a real, traditional canal boat, painted in bright colours. It spoke of long, lazy summer days drifting along dreamy waterways.
‘A hobo of the canals,’ I said. ‘What about the dogs? Three of them, you said.’
‘We’ll have them too. Great, daft creatures, lolling around, wanting to be petted all the time.’
‘It sounds perfect,’ I said happily.
‘I should have done this years ago. But it never became really important until now.’
‘Is she yours?’
‘Not yet. Not until you’ve approved her. But I’ve got the key.’
We went below and looked around. She was more spacious than she looked from the outside, but she was also cosy.
‘This can be Grandad’s room,’ Jack said, indicating a door.
‘Then he’s coming with us?’ I asked eagerly.
‘I know better than to try to part you two. You wouldn’t leave him behind, and if you did you’d never have a moment’s peace, wondering what trouble he was getting himself into.’
I flung my arms around him.
‘Can it really come true?’ I asked.
‘It’s going to come true. We’re going to make it-if it’s what you really want?’
‘It’s what I want more than anything. But won’t you miss your work?’
‘Maybe in a few years,’ he said. ‘But not for ages. I have another life to live first-our life together. A different world, well away from the other one. I don’t want to have to think of anything but you.’
‘No Bully Jack?’
‘Bully Jack only ever existed for a few moments, when he needed to do a bit of manipulating for you. Now he’s gone for ever. All that’s left is the man who loves you-’
‘And whom I love.’
‘It is true that you love me?’ he asked with sudden urgency. ‘I need to believe in that, because it’s who I am. I have this strange feeling that if you don’t love me I don’t really exist.’
There were no words that would have convinced him, so I laid my lips on his and we stayed there for a long time.
‘You have to exist,’ I said. ‘Because if you don’t, neither do I. And without you I never will. Just as before you there was nothing.’
‘For me too,’ he said softly. ‘Nothing at all. But now, for the rest of our lives, we’ll have everything.’
Lucy Gordon
