He stared at her from dead eyes. ‘Yes. It’s all right. I’m awake now. I’m sorry if I hit you.’
‘You didn’t know what you were doing. It must have been a terrible dream. You were shouting such things.’
‘What?’ he asked tensely. ‘What was I shouting?’
‘You kept saying, “It isn’t me.” I don’t understand.’
He gave a grunt. ‘Oh, that again. It’s because I was ill-face swelled up- and looking into the mirror was terrible.’
‘You mean that crash you had at the start of the season? You injured your face?’
He seemed to hesitate. ‘Not exactly. I crashed because I was ill, and I looked so dreadful I couldn’t endure the sight of myself. It made me realise that one day I’ll be old and ugly.’
‘Old, but never ugly,’ she assured him.
‘Oh, yes, it’s there-waiting at the end of the road.’
‘Tell me all about it.’
‘I don’t want to dwell on it. It’s not a pleasant memory.’
‘But if you keep it hidden inside you, perhaps that’s why you have nightmares. If you told me about it, perhaps it would go away.’
‘Nothing will make it go away,’ he said hoarsely.
But she wouldn’t accept that. Taking him in her arms, she said fiercely, ‘Tell me! We’ll fight it together.’
‘Are you strong enough to fight my demons?’ he whispered.
‘What demons?’ she asked. ‘You’re recovered now. The demons were sent packing.’
‘Yes-yes, of course.’
‘And as long as we’re together I’m strong enough for anything. Look.’ She clasped his hand. ‘Did you ever feel such strength?’
He surveyed the delicate hand that lay in his and gave a wry smile.
‘No, I don’t think I ever did,’ he said. ‘It’s awesome.’ He closed his fingers over hers. ‘I guess you’ll keep me safe.’
Nobody who knew Jared only superficially, which meant everyone else in the world, would have believed he’d ever say such a thing.
She could feel violent tremors going through him, almost as though he was weeping, and her arms tightened protectively about him.
She was moving her hands as she spoke, caressing him softly, teasingly, trying to distract him from his misery. She felt him grow still, as though he couldn’t believe what was happening, then gradually the life seemed to be restored to his ravaged body. She enticed him more, luring him on to respond, until he did, moving his hands in an exploration that was almost tentative, then growing in confidence, until at last he cast diffidence aside and raised himself up to look down directly into her face.
He must have seen something there that he needed, for the next moment he was making love to her with full force. Kaye sighed with satisfaction. It had worked. She’d released him from his fears as only she could do. Her smile was one of triumph, melting into pleasure as he took possession of her with a vigour that was almost ferocity and which thrilled her.
‘Go to sleep now,’ she murmured. ‘Everything’s going to be all right.’
She believed it. Falling asleep in his arms, she thought that a new dawn had arrived for them.
CHAPTER FIVE
SHE awoke an hour later and lay with her eyes closed, relishing this new joy, then reaching across the bed for him.
But he wasn’t lying there. Opening her eyes, she found him sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to her.
That wasn’t part of the dream.
‘Hello,’ she said.
He turned quickly and smiled. ‘Are you all right?’ he asked.
‘Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You were in a bad way.’
He rolled over to lie beside her. ‘I want you to tell me something.’
He wanted her to say she loved him, she thought.
‘Yes? What?’
‘When I was shouting in my sleep, did I say anything particular?’
‘Only what I told you before,’ she said, coming down to earth. ‘You kept saying “It isn’t me.”’
‘Nothing else?’
‘Not that I remember.’
‘Are you sure?’ he asked, sounding tense.
‘Quite sure. Why? What are you afraid you said?’
He gave an awkward laugh. ‘Don’t be silly.’
She tried to lighten the atmosphere with a tiny joke. ‘You didn’t mention other women, I promise.’
He rose to the occasion, meeting her mood. ‘Well, that’s a relief.’
She managed a small laugh. ‘So your terrible secret is still a secret.’
His smile faded. She could have sworn a tremor went through him, and it flickered across her mind that perhaps he really did have another woman.
Suddenly the winds were howling again. Such a betrayal would destroy her. She’d opened her heart to him a second time, but there could be no other chances.
But he instantly replied, ‘Don’t say that. There’s nobody but you. I love you. There-I’ve said it.’ He flung the words out like an accusation.
She touched his face. ‘You’ve been fighting it, haven’t you?’
‘I suppose I have,’ he growled.
The fear passed. What could possibly go wrong now? It was time to risk everything on the throw of the dice.
‘I saw you with your mother’s ring,’ she said. ‘I even dared to hope you were going to give it to me. But then you got that headache.’
He raised one crooked eyebrow. ‘Are you proposing to me?’
‘I guess I am.’
She’d struck the right note, enticing him without pressure. Now his good humour and self-confidence were venturing back. ‘The truth is you don’t want me,’ he observed. ‘You just want the ring.’
‘Well, it’s quite a ring. As soon as I saw it I knew it had to be mine- plus-well, plus anything else that went with it.’
‘So that’s what I am? An extra tagged on like a supermarket special offer?’
‘That’s putting it very well. In time I’ll probably exchange you for vouchers.’
