Kiss The Dead

I leaned into the hug, putting my head on his chest. There was no reassuring heartbeat against my ear. His heart beat more than most vampires’ did, but it didn’t have to beat, and it didn’t beat all the time, and it certainly beat slower than human or wereanimal normal. I hugged him tighter, because I missed the beat of his heart. I preferred furry to vampires, still. I loved Jean-Claude and a few other vampires, but I bedded a lot more wereanimals than vampires; there was a reason for that.

“I fed on a human tonight at the club, not one of our wereanimals, and I have not been near enough to you for your presence to warm me.”

“We’ll fix that,” I said, with my head tucked against the ruffles of his shirt. The ruffles and lace were never as soft as they looked, but tonight I didn’t care. He’d actually stopped wearing as many of his signature shirts because I didn’t like the stiffness of the cloth. But tonight I didn’t care; I just wanted him close to me.

He held me close and whispered, “Yes, we can fix that.”

“I have to clean up first. I’m still all sweaty and stuff from the crime scene.” I realized he was wearing a white shirt and I might have dried blood on me. It made me draw back and look at the front of him.

“What is wrong, ma petite?”

“I may have dried blood and things on me, and you’re wearing white.”

He drew me back into his arms. “I would rather hold you close than worry about my clothes. The shirt will wash, or we can throw it away. I do not care.”

I pushed back just enough to turn my face up, resting my chin on his chest so that I gazed up the line of his body, and he looked down so that our eyes met down the line of his chest. “I know you love me, but when you don’t care about your clothes, I know it’s true love for you.” I grinned as I said it.

He laughed, abrupt, surprised, and for a moment I got to see what he must have looked like centuries ago before being a vampire had taught him to control his face and show nothing for fear it would be used against him by those more powerful than him.

I smiled up at him, held as close to him as I could with clothes and weapons still on, and loved him. I loved that I could make him laugh like that, loved that he felt safe enough to show me this part of him, loved that even when we were ass-deep in alligators, being with each other made it better. The alligators would be chewing on our asses either way, but with each other it was more fun, and we were more likely to be able to make a matching set of alligator luggage out of our enemies rather than end up as their dinner.

I gazed up at him as the laughter filled his face, and just loved him. The day had sucked, but Jean-Claude made it suck a lot less, and that was what love was supposed to do. It was supposed to make things better, not worse, which made me wonder if Asher truly loved anyone. I pushed the thought away, and enjoyed the man in my arms, and the fact that I had made him laugh.

31

JEAN-CLAUDE AND I were almost to the bedroom door when God came down the hallway looking unhappy. God was short for Godofredo, but he was tall enough, muscular enough, and just big enough that the nickname didn’t seem entirely funny. He was darkly Hispanic, and we had only one guard more massive than he was, Dino, but whereas Dino moved like a slow but immensely strong mountain, God was as fast as he was big. Dino would hit you harder, but God would hit you faster and more often.

“Sorry, Jean-Claude, Anita, but Asher is requesting to see Jean-Claude before he leaves.”

Jean-Claude sighed, and squeezed my hand. “I can deny his request, if you like?”

I looked at him, trying to read his face. I should have known better. “If you want to see him, see him, but I’m still too pissed.”

He gave a slight uptilt of lips that was almost a smile, but seemed sadder than a smile should be. The almost- smile was enough. I shook his hand gently. “Go to him. It’s okay. I’ll clean up and wait for you in the bed.”

“I am sorry I won’t be able to join you in the tub.”

“It’s depressing to use the bathtub without company. I’ll hit the showers and do a quick cleanup.”

God cleared his throat. We looked at him. “Sorry, but handling Asher may take Jean-Claude a while. Just saying, in case that would make a difference to what Anita does.”

I looked at the big man. He looked uncomfortable. “What aren’t you telling us, Godofredo?” I asked.

He looked at his feet, obviously unhappy. He mumbled something.

“What?” I asked.

He looked up frowning. “I’m pretty sure that Asher wants more than just a talk with Jean-Claude. He seems to feel that once he’s exiled you may not allow him back and he wants a good-bye…” He spread his big hands out, gave a sort of shrug.

I frowned back at him, not exactly sure I understood, but thinking I might have a clue. I hoped I was wrong.

Jean-Claude raised my hand up and laid a kiss on the back of it. “I am sorry, ma petite, I may be gone some time.”

I looked up at him. “Asher wants good-bye sex, doesn’t he?”

“I believe so.”

I looked at him harder. “He hurt Sin and me tonight. I know you’re angry with him.”

“I am, but if it is to be the last time I would not pass it up.”

“Last time? He’s only going to be gone a month, right?”

“Perhaps longer; the city is needing a new master vampire and has petitioned me to recommend one.”

“You mean Asher might not be coming back?”

“Perhaps it is time he had his own territory.”

“Maybe, but…” I thought about never making love to Asher again, never seeing him top Nathaniel, or having him top me, or bottom to Richard, or be in the bed with Jean-Claude and me, or… Just no more Asher. It made me sad to think about it, but… “If it was the last night ever, I’ll regret not being there, but I’m still too mad.” Then I realized, “Besides, he didn’t ask for me, did he?”

Godofredo shook his head.

“I would say this good-bye, in case it truly is good-bye, but I will give you the choice, ma petite.”

“Go,” I said, “say good-bye. You’ve loved him longer than the rest of us have been alive.”

“You will need to feed the ardeur, to heal yourself,” he said.

I fought not to look behind me for Nicky, as I said, “I’ll manage.”

Claudia said, “If you’re thinking about feeding on Nicky, then I need another guard to partner me.”

“You want a red shirt, or another black?” God asked. Nicky was wearing a red shirt, Claudia a black; Nicky was willing to feed the ardeur, and Claudia wasn’t. Red meant food; black meant they were just bodyguards. Though Nicky would feed the ardeur for me, but not for Jean-Claude, and he preferred not to donate blood to anyone, though if I told him to do it he’d do it, because he had no choice. I tried very hard not to make Nicky do things he didn’t want to do.

“Any time we guard, Anita, we’re supposed to be mixed, in case of emergencies,” Claudia said.

“I think Domino and Ethan are the only ones on the clock right now?” Domino, like Nicky, preferred to just be my food, but Ethan was more flexible and would let some of the vampires feed on him.

“Either,” she said.

“I’ll send one of them your way.” He looked at me. “Where do I tell them to meet Claudia?”

“Showers,” I said.

“The room you share with Micah, Nathaniel, and Sin, or the group showers?”

It startled me that God listed Sin like that. He didn’t always sleep with us. He had his own room at the house, and here, too, but he didn’t use it much. Was that what Asher had meant? It wasn’t always about sex, sometimes it was just the big warm kitty piles, but if God had noticed then everyone had. God wasn’t the most observant of the guards when it came to personal stuff.

I thought about what God had asked, and said, “Micah might actually be asleep, so I guess the main showers.”