Kiss The Dead

fight.

I pushed through to him. “Nicky, Nicky, it’s me.”

He saw me, and I watched the comprehension fill his face. His expression got less frantic, and he tried to reach for my hand, but I had to finish the gesture and take his in mine. He couldn’t even wrap his fingers completely around my smaller hand, as if even that were too much. I cradled his big hand in both of mine, and held it against my chest, over my bare breasts.

The doctor was kneeling on the other side of him, listening to his heart with a stethoscope. He seemed to like what he was hearing. “It’s slow, but steady; what happened to him?”

I shook my head, and realized tears were sliding down my cheeks. It was more like I was leaking than crying, as if it would happen totally without me. “I don’t know. We were having sex, and then he just collapsed. His heart stopped and I couldn’t get it started again.”

“How do you feel?” the doctor was asking Nicky, but if he heard the doctor it didn’t show. Nicky just kept looking at me as if I were the only real thing in the room.

“Nicky,” I said, “can you hear me?”

He swallowed as if something hurt, and whispered, “Yes.”

“The doctor asked, how do you feel?”

He frowned and looked around as if just now seeing the other people; again, as if I were the only solid thing in the room to him. He wasn’t well yet; whatever had happened hadn’t been instantly fixed.

“Ask him how he feels,” the doctor said.

“How do you feel?” I asked.

He frowned harder. “Bad, weak.”

I leaned over and kissed his fingers where they were still too limp in my hand. He gave me a small smile.

“What’s the last he remembers?” the doctor asked.

I repeated the question.

“Sex, amazing sex,” and this time his smile was wider and happier, but he still looked confused, as if something hurt, or was still not right.

I smiled back at him. “It was a-fucking-mazing sex,” I said.

That made him grin, and it was mild compared to his usual, but it was a step in the right direction. Just seeing the grin helped ease a tightness in my chest that I hadn’t realized was there.

Jean-Claude came into the room as far as the crowd of medics and guards would let him. I knew he was there before I looked up and saw him with my eyes. His face was beautiful and unreadable, but I knew the set of his shoulders, that particular stillness to his face-he knew something about what had happened to Nicky, and he was afraid I wouldn’t like it.

The doctor said, “Can he stand, or do we need a stretcher?”

Nicky said he could stand, but Domino and I had to catch him as his knees buckled. If he’d had a belt to hold on to, it would have been easier to hold him up, but he was still naked. Domino had to take most of his weight, and I struggled to keep up my side. I was just too damn short. Claudia came in on the other side of him, and I let her take my place. She didn’t have any problem helping Domino keep Nicky up and moving out of the locker room. I started to follow, but Jean-Claude was standing against the wall just outside. He was wearing the bottoms of silk pajamas in a sky blue that almost matched Asher’s eyes. I wondered if Asher was wearing the top part of the jammies. Jean-Claude’s curls still had that tousled just-been-fucked look.

“You know something,” I said, and I couldn’t keep it from sounding accusatory.

“I do,” he said, voice as neutral as his face.

“Talk,” I said.

“Not here, ma petite.”

“Where?” I said, and again I knew it sounded angry.

“Asher’s room or ours.”

“Why Asher’s room?” I asked.

“Because I am a fool.” It was Asher. He’d been standing in the shadows at the end of the corridor. Either he’d been so still I hadn’t seen him, or I was so upset about Nicky that I wasn’t noticing things, like vampires standing in the shadows. Good thing I wasn’t at work.

“If you want an argument about the fool thing, I’m not in the mood,” I said. I crossed my arms under my breasts and realized I was still nude. I’d sort of forgotten. I had a moment of thinking about being embarrassed about it, and then thought, Screw it. Nicky had almost died, and the two vampires knew something about what had gone wrong with the ardeur, because that had been what happened. I thought I had the ardeur all controlled, and now I’d almost killed Nicky by accident. Fuck.

Asher stepped more into the light, his hair a mass of gold that seemed to gather the light to it as he moved closer. He was wearing a robe I’d seen on him before. It was gold threaded with blue and silver embroidery heavy across almost every piece of cloth. Only the edging of pale fur was free of decoration, though I guess the fur was decoration, so did you decorate the decoration? Even as I thought it, it made no sense. My mouth was healed completely; physically I felt energized and almost humming with power. Mentally I was somewhere between angry, depressed, and lost. What the hell had happened between Nicky and me? What had I done wrong?

“Let me get my weapons and something to put on, and then either room. I just want to know what is making you both act like little boys who got caught.” Neither of them argued about me calling them little boys who had got caught; it was not a good sign. It meant that there was something for at least one of them to feel guilty about.

37

SINCE WE WEREN’T a hundred percent certain what had happened in the shower, the guards insisted on turning into a crowd. I pointed out that if the ardeur decided to eat everyone, then guns, knives, and muscle weren’t going to help save anyone, but Claudia stuck by her initial plan of more bodies to guard Jean-Claude and me. All she had to throw at the problem was more muscle, so that was what she did. I knew the look on her face. There was no arguing when she looked like that, so I didn’t try. I didn’t want to use up energy fighting with Claudia. I was saving it up to fight with Asher, and maybe Jean-Claude.

The clothes I’d worn at the crime scene were still dirty, and I was clean, so I borrowed the silk jammie top that Asher was actually wearing under his robe. It was the match to the bottoms that Jean-Claude was wearing; for some reason that bugged me. The top was wonderful sky-blue silk, soft to the skin, but it also hung to my knees, and I had to roll the sleeves up until they formed a doughnut-sized roll around each arm. I looked like I was a little girl borrowing my father’s shirt, but it was better than being naked.

I was able to put the wrist sheaths with their knives back on, but the inner pants holster needed, well, pants. I was able to put the shoulder rig on over the shirt, but it was like putting a more complicated front-opening bra across your shoulders. It was on, but it flapped and shifted, without belt loops to attach to. I carried the things that didn’t fit, and was happy that my main gear bags were already in the bedroom.

We had so many guards it was hard for all three of us to walk without bumping into one of them. When we got to the door to Jean-Claude’s room I told them to all stay outside.

Godofredo said, “I’m sorry, Anita, but Claudia was very clear. At least two of us have to be on the other side of the door and have eyes on you at all times.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because Asher attacked you earlier tonight and put Sin in the hospital, and now Nicky is hurt. Claudia doesn’t want any more problems tonight.”

“Asher isn’t going to hurt me again, and what happened to Nicky isn’t anything that a guard could have helped stop. Claudia being in the room with Nicky and me wouldn’t have changed a damn thing, except made her and me uncomfortable with her watching me fuck Nicky.”

God’s eyes widened a bit. He was never quite comfortable when I talked like a guy about sex. “My orders are clear, Anita, I’m sorry.”