Christmas Wishes, Mistletoe Kisses

Louise had her hat and scarf on and was just retrieving her coat from the floor and heading for the back door when she heard the door creak open. Quickly, she hung her coat on one of the overcrowded pegs. If she couldn’t disappear altogether, she was going to have to make it look as if she’d just arrived. Her skin was still heated and her cheeks were probably flushed. Hopefully, she could blame it on having just come in out of the cold weather.

‘Louise!’ Jas shot into the room like a bullet and threw her arms around her middle.

‘Hey, Jas!’ she said softly.

Jasmine looked over her shoulder and shouted at the woman who had just entered with Ben. ‘Mum! Look! Louise is here!’

‘So she is.’

Ben’s ex-wife was nothing like Louise had pictured her. She’d imagined a housewifey sort, but Megan was only what could be described as a ‘yummy mummy’. Her long blonde hair fell past her shoulders and ended in a blunt, straight line, and she was wearing a designer coat, military style, pulled in tight at the waist. Her high-heeled boots made a fingernails-on-a-blackboard sort of noise as she crossed the tiled floor and offered her hand.

Louise’s jeans, jumper and clumpy fur-lined suede boots suddenly seemed rather casual. She pulled the hem of her jumper down, rumpled as it had been from being whisked into Ben’s arms. She’d never thought of Ben as being a man who ‘whisked’-the revelation was still doing odd things to her insides.

‘Hello.’ Not exactly original, but it was polite and it didn’t give too much away. Jas, still hyperactive after a longish car journey, abruptly let go of her and dashed towards the door. ‘Dad! Wait till you see the really cool presents I got from Nanna and Pops! Can I get them from the boot, Mum?’

Megan nodded and threw Jasmine a bunch of car keys that she pulled out of her pocket. Her exit left the adults in an uncomfortable silence.

‘As Jas has already pointed out, I’m Louise. Nice to meet you.’

‘Megan.’

Something about this woman reminded Louise of a cat arching with all its fur frizzed up. She noticed that Megan didn’t bother removing her gloves to shake hands. Somehow, that made the whole situation easier. Being Toby’s wife had made her used to this kind of response from other women. She was always a threat, the enemy, never someone that they wanted to gossip over cappuccinos with.

‘I’m doing Louise’s garden for her.’

Both she and Megan turned to look sharply at Ben, who seemed to be pulling every mug he could find out of the cupboard.

Garden? Good one. She’d forgotten all about the garden.

‘Yes,’ she said, nodding a little too hard. ‘Ben is sorting out my rebellious garden for me…We were going to have a look at the plans.’

Don’t wince, she told herself. You were going to look at the plans today-just later. Much later.

‘Today? It’s still the Christmas holidays.’ Megan’s voice was flat as she looked at Ben, then at Louise, then back at Ben again. Nobody moved.

Okay, the only way to get round this was to play the rich-and-famous card, much as she hated it. ‘Yes. I’m sure you understand, Megan. Life can be so hectic, you know, flying all over the place…’The silly little laugh she gave turned her own stomach. She hadn’t meant to do it; it must be the nerves. ‘Sometimes we just have to squeeze the project meetings in whenever we can.’

‘I’m sure it’ll be marvellous,’ Megan said, and Ben did a double-take and looked in astonishment at his ex-wife. ‘Ben really is very talented.’

Louise stifled a smile as Ben gave her a dry look, held up a large, over-sized teacup kind of a mug and shook his head. Megan’s back was to him, thank goodness, so she didn’t see him reach for the smallest mug of the collection and, after giving Louise a wicked smile, spooned instant coffee into it.

Megan sat down at the kitchen table, her mouth pursed a little too tightly for Louise’s liking. ‘I must say, you’re all Jasmine has talked about while we were away.’

Louise shot a nervous look at Ben, who was now making a cup of coffee with record-breaking speed. ‘Well…Ben has brought Jasmine up to Whitehaven a couple of times. My son, Jack, is only a few years younger than her and it made sense for the children to play together while Ben was looking after the garden.’

Megan nodded and twisted to look at Ben as he plonked the mug of coffee in front of her, then dropped into the seat opposite Louise, his expression guarded.

‘Well, Louise, I’m sure you’ll appreciate that you’re not the only one who leads a busy life. Ben and I have some family stuff to discuss-’ as she said ‘family’ she laid a hand on Ben’s arm ‘-so, if you wouldn’t mind…’

‘Dad!’ Jasmine burst back through the kitchen door, her arms full of presents. ‘Look what I got!’

Much as Louise would have liked to walk over to Ben, slide her arms around his waist and stake her claim, this was neither the time nor the place.

Ben turned to look at Megan, an exasperated expression on his face. ‘Meg, I arranged to meet Louise at one o’clock, she shouldn’t have to leave.’

The words especially as you were late hung in the air.

Louise did an extra knot in her scarf. ‘No, it’s okay, Ben. Family stuff comes first. I’ll call you when I have an opening in my schedule. Goodbye, Jasmine…Megan.’

She collected her coat from near the back door and Ben rose and escorted her out of the kitchen and into the hall. She looked a little puzzled, but followed his lead. As she reached for the door latch, he grabbed hold of her hand. ‘Don’t go.’

She bit her lip and shook her head.

He turned her hand over, pulled it to his lips and planted a kiss into her palm. ‘Actually, you can’t go yet-not without giving away that your car is parked in my garage, which will only make Megan more suspicious.’

Okay, that was true, but she could always use the ferry and come back for her car later.

‘If you could just…I don’t know…take a walk on the beach for half an hour, I’ll see what she wants to get off her chest and then I’ll call you when the coast’s clear. You do have your phone with you, don’t you?’

She nodded. This was getting sticky, complicated, just as she’d feared when Ben had only been a daydream. That was the problem with reality. It was so…messy. She ought to take the ferry and leave them alone. But she found herself scrawling her mobile number on a pad by the telephone in the hall.

Ben closed the door behind Louise and then pressed his face against the little window to watch her disjointed shape walk down the garden path. There were some days when he regretted not being able to make his marriage work, but today certainly was not one of them.

Whatever he did for Megan was never enough. It never had been.

When she’d left him, he’d felt empty. Not really because he’d missed her-by then he’d been too exhausted to feel anything but regret on Jas’s behalf. No, the emptiness had been more a sense of being bled dry. He was a pretty decent bloke, he thought, and he’d put his heart and soul into his marriage but, in the end, he’d had to accept that his best was not good enough.

Megan had wanted more. She’d been so needy-he could see that now. Blindly, he’d thought he could help her grow, be the foundation that she could build on. But she was the sort of woman who needed constant attention, constant flattering, and he just hadn’t been skilled at that.

He still wasn’t. He scrubbed his face with his hands and headed back to the kitchen. It was going to take all his energy for the next half hour to be nice and hear what her latest gripe was without telling her to get over herself.

The young woman who had been broken in spirit had not blossomed into the strong and confident mother he’d thought she would. She was still full of all the same insecurities. And what little confidence she’d possessed hadn’t grown into self-esteem, but had hardened into self-involvement. She was the world’s axis, and heaven help anyone who didn’t agree with her.

When he re-entered the kitchen, he was disappointed to discover that her coffee mug was still mostly full. He sat down beside her.