He pulled away and looked intently at her, as if he were trying to peel open the layers and look right inside her head. ‘You do?’
She laughed. ‘Of course I do!’
He began to smile. ‘You never said so before.’
A blush crept up her cheeks. ‘Well, I’m saying it now-’She took a deep breath and let out a shout that would have scared the horses, had there been any left. ‘I love you, Ben Oliver.’
All of a sudden, her feet were off the ground and she was spinning round. Ben had grabbed her round the middle and was just twirling and twirling, all the time laughing in her ear. And then he kissed her, and it thrilled her to her very toes because this kiss was all about promises, about the future, about tomorrow.
When the euphoria wore off and her feet were finally on the ground again, his frown reappeared. ‘What are we going to do?’
‘Do? Nothing.’
‘Nothing.’ He repeated the word as if he didn’t understand its meaning. ‘What do you mean, “nothing”?
She shrugged. ‘As far as the press is concerned, we just don’t comment. Any response from us will just keep the story running.’
‘But I don’t want people to think those things about you. It’s not the truth!’
She silenced him with a kiss. ‘The reporters don’t care about truth. They care about the story-what’s juiciest, what’s going to sell more papers. The people who read that trash might think I’m a man-eating witch, but I don’t care. What we think matters-what
‘I know that’s true, but it doesn’t seem fair.’
‘But that’s how it is and we’ve just got to deal with it.’ She exhaled long and hard. ‘You might want to take Jas away for a few days, just in case people turn up wanting an interview or a picture. You’ve seen for yourself what some can be like.’
He nodded. ‘I could ring up my sister in Exeter. She’s back home now and could certainly have us for a few days, but you’ll be here…all on your own.’
She took him by the hand and they walked out into the bright December morning, the sun so low in the sky it hadn’t risen above the tops of the bare trees. ‘I can deal with this-I have done for more than a decade. It’s Jas who matters at the moment.’
He nodded. ‘She’s with a friend in the village right now. I’d better go and tell her we’re off on an impromptu visit to Aunty Tammy’s.’
Much as he’d like to wring Megan’s neck right this very second, there were some important issues they needed to discuss. He jabbed at the doorbell of her flat for a third time and left his thumb on the button so it rang loud and long.
Nothing. And any calls he made to her mobile were going straight through to voicemail.
Why? Why had she done this? Had she not thought what sort of effect this would have on Jasmine?
No, of course she hadn’t. Megan always thought of herself first and everyone else second. It had been her decision to end their marriage, her decision to leave Jasmine with him-saying she needed to learn to be a whole person herself before she could be a truly devoted mother-and now that he’d finally picked himself up and was moving on with his life, she was trying to sabotage that too.
Perhaps it was just as well he hadn’t caught up with her, he thought as he climbed into his car and slammed the door. Choosing to hurt Louise had been cowardly; she was an easy target.
He put the car into gear and made the thirty minute drive back to Lower Hadwell. By the time he got back to his cottage it was almost two o’clock and he was supposed to be packing, then picking Jasmine up at three. It wasn’t until he’d parked his car and walked round to the front that he noticed the figure on his doorstep. Megan was sitting on the low step, her face buried in her knees, drawing in jerky breaths.
He realised he wasn’t angry with her any longer. If anything, he felt pity. How messed up must she be to think that selling her story to the papers would cause anything but a headache?
She stopped sniffing when she heard him walking towards her and raised her head to look at him. Her eyes were pink and her face was blotchy and puffy. He might feel sorry for her, but that didn’t mean he was going to let her off the hook completely.
‘Why, Megan?’
Her face crumpled, then she sniffed loudly again and wiped her nose with a crushed tissue. ‘I spent the last two years following my heart, trying to work out what will make me happy, what will fill the hole in here-’ She jabbed a finger at her chest.
Ben put his hands in his pockets. ‘Well, maybe you did the right thing in leaving me. You obviously weren’t happy, living here with me and Jasmine.’
She shook her head and rearranged the almost disintegrated tissue so she could use it for one last blow. ‘No, I was happy-sort of. But it wasn’t enough. I wanted more.’ She fixed him with her clear blue eyes. ‘Only I don’t seem to be able to work out what
Welcome to the human race, honey.
He nearly always had a small packet of tissues in his pocket-required kit with a child in tow. He fished a packet out of his jacket and offered them to Megan, but her eyes were glazed and she was staring off into the distance.
‘And then I realised-oh, about a month ago-that not only was I no happier than I had been when we were together, but that I was
She looked at him with large blue eyes and her breath caught in her throat. Oh, no. He had a feeling he knew what was coming next and he willed her not to say it. He pulled his hand away and stuffed the packet of tissues into her fingers.
‘Megan, we can’t go back. You don’t really love me that way any more, not really. And I don’t want to be with you by default, because you can’t find anything or anyone you like better. I deserve
She pressed her lips together and nodded and a fresh batch of tears ran down her face. She squeezed his hand. ‘Yes, you do. And I’m sorry for what I did. I suppose I got into a real state because I was…’ she struggled getting the next word out ‘…jealous.’ She gave him a weak smile. ‘It was pretty obvious, you know. The pair of you couldn’t keep your eyes off each other. Just…don’t let her hurt you, Ben. I see the same ache in her that I have inside me.’
No. Megan was wrong about that. Louise was stronger than she was. But he wasn’t going to stand on his own doorstep and discuss that right now. He reached for Megan’s hand and pulled her up to stand.
Sometimes his ex-wife could seem like a force of nature-a cyclone-twisting her way through other people’s lives and leaving destruction in her wake but, right now, she looked more like a frightened child.
He put his arms around her and gave her a brotherly hug. ‘We both deserve more, Meg. Don’t you forget that.’
She nodded and kissed him softly on the cheek. ‘Thanks, Ben. Jasmine is lucky to have a dad like you. And I think-’ she paused to take a shuddering sniff ‘-she ought to stay with you for the time being. I reckon I have a few things to sort out first.’
Relief washed through him. That had to be the most mature and sensible decision Megan had made in a long time. Perhaps there was hope for her yet.
Louise found herself back in the stables after Ben had left. She could tell an idea was brewing about this place, but she just couldn’t put her finger on it at present. There was no reason to redevelop this area, other than to keep herself from getting bored. But she sensed a need for a bit more logic in her plans. It was time to stop floating, to stop being pushed around like a sailing boat buffeted by the wind, and make some choices.
These stables had something to do with it, she could feel it. She shook her head and muttered to herself. New Year’s Eve was the day after tomorrow-time to think about fresh starts and new beginnings. A shiver of happiness ran through her. Time to start a new relationship with a wonderful man who said he loved her.
She corrected herself quickly. That had sounded all wrong inside her head. They hadn’t been just words. It
