A Whirlwind Engagement

'Are you going to go traditional, or do something different?'

'That'll be up to Aisling,' said Josh. 'I don't think she's made any plans yet.'

Bella's jaw was beginning to feel rigid with the effort of keeping her smile in place. 'Can I be your best man? It's supposed to be your best friend, isn't it?'

Josh looked at her. 'You'll always be that, Bella,' he said.

'Well, this calls for another drink.' Bella drained her glass with an edge of desperation. 'I'll have a glass of champagne this time!'

'I'll get them.' Josh leapt to his feet. 'You stay there.'

It was such a relief to stop smiling. Bella found that she was breathing very shallowly. She was shaking, too, she realised dully. It had taken everything she had to appear pleased for Josh while inside she felt so sick and utterly desolate that she could hardly think straight.

She had known it was coming. The moment he hesitated about telling her his news, she had sensed what it would be, but even so the savage twist of pain had caught her unawares and she had almost cried out. Instead she had had to smile, and she would have to go on smiling, whatever it cost.

Josh must never know how she felt now. He mustn't even guess. It wouldn't be fair now that he had made his choice. He would be appalled and embarrassed, and even though it wouldn't change the way he felt about Aisling, it might make him feel awkward about celebrating his engagement, and Bella wasn't prepared to do that to him.

So she put her bright smile back on when Josh came back with a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket. 'This is more like it,' she said as he eased out the cork with a typical lack of any kind of flourish and poured the champagne.

'Congratulations, Josh,' she said, picking up her glass and touching it to his.

'Thanks, Bella.' Josh's face relaxed. 'It's stupid, but I was worried about telling you.'

'You shouldn't have been. You know I just want you to be happy.'

'We'll still be friends, won't we?'

'Of course we will-but who's going to marry me now when I get to forty and no one else wants me?' Bella kept smiling to show that she was joking. 'I thought I could rely on you!'

'I can't imagine that happening,' said Josh. 'As long as I've known you there's always been a long queue of men just desperate for the chance to show you how much they want you! What about Will?'

Bella studied her champagne. 'Ah, well, there's a vacant place at the front of the queue at the moment.'

Josh's face changed and he put down his glass. 'Bella?'

'Yes, I'm afraid my news isn't quite as exciting as yours,' she said. 'Will and I split up.'

'But you seemed so happy with him. You thought he was perfect!' Josh seemed at a loss. 'What happened?'

'Oh, you know…' Bella shrugged.

'No,' said Josh. 'Tell me.'

'It was just one of those things,' she said, avoiding his eye.

She had decided to tell Josh the truth about Will, but that was before she had known that he was going to marry Aisling. Everything had changed now. If Josh thought that the decision had been a mutual one, he would start to wonder why she was so unhappy, and Bella didn't want him going there. He knew her much too well.

No, far better for him to think that it was Will she loved. It would explain why she wasn't herself at the moment, and it would give her a good excuse to stop smiling, which would be a huge relief.

'Will isn't ready to settle down,' she told Josh. That at least was true. There had never been any question of making things permanent. Will was no more keen to marry than Bella had been. 'He's having much too good a time being an eligible bachelor.'

Which was also true. Will had found her attractive, and she had blended nicely with his decor, but he had never really loved her. That was one reason they were able to get on so well now.

'It was all getting a bit intense for him,' she explained.

'Isn't that usually your line?' said Josh, lifting an eyebrow.

'I know. Ironic, isn't it? All those years I've spent dumping men the moment they start to crowd me, and now I'm getting a taste of my own medicine.' Bella forced a smile. 'I'm sure you're going to tell me it serves me right!'

'No, I'm going to tell you I never thought Will was good enough for you. I know you thought he was perfect, but clearly the man has no taste. You'll find someone much better,' he told her confidently.

'The trouble is that I don't want anyone better,' she said in a low voice. 'There's only one man I want.'

'Bella…' Josh frowned. 'That sounds serious.'

'I think it is.' Bella twisted her glass between her fingers, unable to look at him properly. 'Oh, I know I've fallen in and out of love before, but this is different. It's more than liking a man with a smart car who can show you a good time. This is needing someone with every tiny bit of you and wanting to be with him and be able to touch him and knowing that you've lost your chance.

'It's too late,' she finished dully.

'Is it too late?'

Bella lifted her eyes from her glass and looked at him, so dear and so familiar and so suddenly, unexpectedly gorgeous.

And so engaged to Aisling.

She swallowed, and nodded, all at once unable to speak.

Josh got up without a word and sat down next to her so that he could put his arm around her. 'Poor Bella,' he said gently. 'Does it hurt?'

To her horror, Bella felt a tear trickle out of the edge of her eyes, and then another. Frantically, she tried to brush them away with the back of her hand, but it only seemed to make them come faster.

'I'll get over it,' she said unsteadily.

'You have got it bad, Bel,' said Josh, tightening his arm around her, which made things even worse.

Bella longed to be able to turn her face into his throat and cling to him but she couldn't let herself relax or she would lose control completely. She would fling her arms around him, and blizzard kisses all over his face and beg him not to marry Aisling. She would tell him that he was the one she loved and needed and wanted, and implore him to kiss her back, to pull her down onto the floor and make love to her and promise that he would never let her go.

The thought of how the quiet, restrained Josh would react to such a melodramatic scene was enough to make Bella give a hiccup of laughter through her tears. Poor Josh, she could never to do that to him.

'Honestly, I'll be fine,' she said, straightening out of the comfort of his arm before she really did do something she regretted. It was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do.

She dug in her bag for a tissue and blew her nose fiercely.

'Do you want me to kill Will for you?' asked Josh. 'I will if you want.'

Bella managed a shaky smile. 'Thanks, but I don't think that would help. And it's not Will's fault,' she added, in case Josh decided to track down the unsuspecting Will and give him a piece of his mind. 'He can't help how I feel.'

'He could give you a chance.'

Bella shook her head. 'I've had my chance, and I blew it,' she said.

Absently rubbing her cheeks with the crumpled tissue, she put her smile back into place. 'I'm sorry about that,' she said, sitting up straight and squaring her shoulders. 'I didn't mean to go all tearful on you. We're supposed to be celebrating your engagement here!' She held out her glass. 'Come on, let's have some more champagne!'

Josh topped up their glasses obediently, but he was worried about Bella. At least he now knew the reason for the strain behind her bright smile.

He hadn't been entirely joking when he asked Bella if she would like him to kill Will. OK, he might not go quite as far as murder, but when he saw the pain in her blue eyes, he was gripped by such a cold rage that he almost wished that Will would walk into the bar so that he could have the satisfaction of hurting him in return. He wanted to see Will on his knees, grovelling to Bella, and preferably with a bloody nose.

What was wrong with the man anyway? Josh thought about how warm and soft she had felt as she leant against him, the silkiness of her hair under his cheek. Will needed his head examining. How could a man turn his