and now she could hardly keep her hands off him! Thank God he was sitting opposite and hadn't chosen the seat beside her. Even so, she tightened both hands around the stem of the glass where she could see them on top of the table and keep them under control.
'How are things with you?' she managed.
'Great. And you?'
'Yes, fine.'
This was ghastly. Bella felt close to tears. It had always been so easy with Josh before. They would get their drinks and spend the rest of the evening talking and laughing and teasing each other, and now they were sitting here being
'Are you still going off to the Seychelles?'
Josh nodded. He was obviously picking up on the awkward atmosphere. 'In a couple of weeks,' he said.
'Lucky you. I wish I could go away in November. It's always so dark and miserable then.'
God, now they were reduced to the weather!
Josh didn't even try and pick up on that particular conversational gambit. He drank his beer instead and an uncomfortable silence fell.
Bella concentrated on making patterns with the condensation on the bottom of her glass. She was supposed to be telling him about Will but she wasn't sure how to do it without explaining how her feelings had changed, and if Josh probed too far in that direction it wouldn't take him long to realise that she had changed, and then he would want to know why and…oh, God, perhaps it would be better not to say anything?
'So,' said Josh again, sounding rather strained. 'What's new with you? You said you had a lot to tell me.'
'You go first,' she said quickly. 'You said you had news too.'
'Yes…yes, I do.'
He sounded almost as hesitant as she felt. He obviously didn't know where to begin either. A tiny chill crept into Bella's stomach.
'Is it good or bad?' she asked, trying to make light of it.
'Good,' said Josh after another tiny hesitation.
'You don't sound very sure!'
He didn't. Josh could hear it himself. 'No, it is good. Definitely good,' he said.
The best, in fact. So why didn't it feel fantastic? Josh wondered. It had seemed such a good idea when Aisling suggested it. More than that, it had made perfect sense. He should be standing on the table, shouting his luck to the world.
He just hadn't expected it to be so difficult to tell Bella, that was all.
She was looking at him curiously across the table. 'Is it something to do with work?'
'No, no, nothing like that.' Josh took another desperate drink of his beer.
Bella pursed her lips, rolled her eyes and shook back her long, blonde hair in an achingly familiar gesture of exasperation. 'Well?' she demanded, sounding like the old Bella, and not the strange new, shy, prompt Bella who had been sitting opposite him a moment ago. 'Do I have to guess, or are you going to tell me?'
'Aisling and I are getting married.'
Josh winced as he heard how he blurted out the words as if he felt guilty or something. He had meant to lead up to it more gently.
He looked at Bella, unsure of how she would react. She seemed to have frozen, and for a second or two her expression was completely blank. Then the blue eyes dropped to her wine and she stared at it for a few moments, until Josh began to wonder if she had heard him.
'Bella?' he asked, but she had already lifted her gaze and there was a bright smile on her face.
'Well…congratulations!' she said in a voice that matched her smile, and she half stood to lean across the table and kiss him on the cheek.
Her hair swung against Josh's face, and he could smell her perfume. She always wore exactly the same one. 'Allure,' she had told him when he asked once what it was, and she had grinned at him. 'Feel free to buy me a huge bottle whenever you want!' Sometimes when she had been in his flat, he could sniff the fragrance still lingering in the air. It always made him think of her.
What perfume did Aisling wear? Wasn't that the kind of thing a fiance should know?
'When did all this happen?' she asked, sitting back down with the same bright smile that for some reason intensified Josh's feeling of unease. But she looked just the same, the same blue eyes, the same tilting lashes, the same swing of spun gold around her face as she shook her hair out of the way.
It was just the smile that was wrong, but Josh couldn't put his finger on why.
'Last week,' he said.
They had just won a big contract, and the whole company had been out celebrating that evening. When they got home, Josh had tried to tell Aisling how much he appreciated what she had done. There was no doubt that she had made a huge difference. She had finely honed marketing skills, and with her background knowledge of clients like C.B.C. she had been able to steer the company in a new direction which was paying dividends already. This had been an important contract to win, and if they could get the C.B.C. deal as well, the future would be assured.
'We couldn't have done it without you,' he had told her, still high on the relief and euphoria of the staff. They had all worked hard but Aisling's input had been key and they all knew it. 'We make a fantastic team.'
'I think you and I make a fantastic team whatever we're doing,' Aisling had said, smiling. 'Why don't we make it permanent?'
And Josh hadn't been able to think of a reason not to. Aisling was beautiful and intelligent and she shared his interests. He knew they could live together. She didn't have any annoying habits.
Bella, for instance, would drive him mad. She would never close drawers or put the tops back on bottles and she would leave her clothes strewn all over his flat. She would clutter his streamlined bathroom with cosmetics and monopolise his phone and embark on cooking over-elaborate meals, half of which would end up in the bin.
There was nothing like that with Aisling. Josh couldn't imagine ever finding anyone who fitted into his world with so little fuss.
Everyone else was settling down. What was the point of holding out for…what? Bella was wrapped up in that pillock, Will, and if it wasn't Will it would be some other chinless wonder who worked in the City.
Bella had been telling him for years that he had no sense of romance, and Josh didn't have a problem with that. Romantics-like Bella herself-had this rosy and, in his view, completely unrealistic view about relationships. They wanted everything to be perfect, and life was never like that.
Josh was trained in survival, and that was all about adapting to different situations, about keeping your options open as long as you could and compromising when you couldn't. And when you had to make a decision, you had to make it fast and stick with it.
Aisling was right, he had told himself. They did make a good team, and if he had learnt anything from his years on expedition, being part of a good team was everything. Why not commit himself and make it permanent?
'Last week?' Bella was staring at him, the blue eyes hurt. 'Why didn't you tell me?'
'I wanted to wait and tell you on your own,' said Josh awkwardly. 'I haven't told anybody else yet.'
'Why not?'
'I wanted you to be the first to know.' He looked at her anxiously. 'I know it's a bit sudden, but what do you think?'
Bella's smile wavered a little but she took a deep breath. 'I think it's fantastic news, Josh,' she said. 'I'm so happy for you.'
'Really?'
'Of course. I'm a bit stunned, I suppose but…yes, of course I'm happy for you. I can see Aisling's perfect for you.'
'She is, isn't she?' Josh was conscious of trying to force enthusiasm into his voice. That couldn't be right, surely?
'Absolutely,' said Bella, who could feel her smile growing fixed.
'You do like her, don't you?'
'Of course,' she lied.
She could feel another silence threatening. 'So when's the wedding?' she hurried on.
'We haven't decided on a date yet.'
