Appointment at the Altar

face.

‘Sheila said you’d be out,’ Lucy managed, clutching her box to her chest. At least it was something to hold on to while her heart was hammering like a mad thing and her knees felt so weak that she was afraid she might crumple to the floor at any minute.

‘I was supposed to be at a meeting, but when I got there-’

The doors chose that moment to assume that anyone who wanted to get in would have done so and began to close. Guy leapt forward to stop them, holding them back with a hand.

‘It was cancelled. Some family crisis,’ he said, without taking his eyes from her face. ‘Why am I telling you this, anyway? I’m babbling like an idiot just because you’re here…!’

‘I came to get my things,’ said Lucy unsteadily. It was just like the last time, when two completely separate conversations were going on at the same time. She couldn’t tear her eyes from his. It was just so good to see him, to hear him, to be near him again.

No, no, this isn’t right! Her mind struggled desperately to regain control of the situation. You can’t give in yet. Remember all that stuff about proving yourself? Well, do it. Say goodbye and go.

‘Did Sheila know you were coming? She didn’t tell me.’

‘I asked her not to,’ she said. ‘I thought it would be easier if I didn’t see you.’

‘Why?’

Lucy just shook her head and Guy stepped into the lift. ‘Why, Lucy?’ he persisted.

Get on with it! Lucy’s mind ordered, and she made to step past him with the box in her arms. ‘I should go,’ she said feebly, but he was blocking the way.

‘I don’t want you to go. I miss you too much.’

Behind him, more people were heading to the lifts and veering away at the last minute as they realised that a scene was in progress. ‘I’ve got a new job,’ said Lucy, her voice wobbling ridiculously. ‘I’m committed to that now.’

‘I’m not talking about work,’ said Guy, sounding almost angry. ‘I miss you. I can’t concentrate on anything. I don’t want to eat, I can’t sleep. Look at me, I’m a mess!’

‘Guy, this just makes things harder…’

‘What does? Seeing you? Talking to you? It doesn’t feel harder to me. Sitting at home, missing you, that’s what feels hard.’

‘It is for me,’ she said, stung into a response at last. ‘I knew it would be like this!’ she said wildly. ‘I knew I’d see you and I’d just want to give up everything just to be able to touch you, but I can’t do that.’

A smile hovered around Guy’s mouth suddenly. ‘Why don’t we touch and then talk about what you have to give up?’ he said, taking the box from her and putting it on the floor.

‘Don’t joke about this!’ Lucy turned her head away, biting her lip. ‘I’m serious. I’m trying to change my life here, and you’re not helping.’

‘Lucy,’ said Guy as the doors closed behind him, cutting them off from the interested crowd. ‘What is it you want to change?’

‘Me,’ she said. ‘I’ve always been a temporary person. I have temporary jobs and temporary relationships, but I don’t want that any more. I want a real job and a real relationship. You were the one who told me that I always had to be rescued, Guy, and you were right. I’ve spent my whole life relying on other people one way or another. Well, now I want to do something for myself. I want to set up my own business, and make a success of it.’

‘Why would touching me change that?’

‘Because I would get distracted. I love you, and I know you won’t believe me,’ said Lucy almost crossly, ‘but I do.’

A smile started at the back of his eyes. ‘Usually if you love someone, touching is good,’ he said as he took her hands, but she pulled them away.

‘How long for, though?’

‘How about for ever?’

Lucy stared at him. The lift doors, tired of waiting to be told which floor to go to, sighed open once more, but neither Lucy nor Guy noticed the interested looks of the small crowd that had gathered.

‘You can’t want me for ever,’ she said unsteadily.

‘Can’t I?’ Guy pretended to consider the matter. ‘Do you know, I think I can. I think I do.’

‘But…’ She swallowed. ‘I’m not a serious enough person for you.’

‘Lucy, you are a serious person,’ he said, repossessing her hands. ‘You’re warm and funny and loyal and brave, and you have a gift for happiness and enjoying life that is worth more than any qualification, any career, any profit margin on a business! You don’t pretend to be anything you’re not-unless it’s my fiancee, of course!-and people like you because of that. Who was it everyone turned to in a crisis when you were on reception here? Who got on and sorted things out for Sheila when her father was ill? Who gave up a job she loved for a sister she loved more?’

With a sigh, the doors closed again.

‘But those things aren’t…’

‘Aren’t what? Aren’t important? They are, Lucy. You don’t need to prove yourself. You just need to be yourself.’

His hands were warm and sustaining around hers. Longing to believe him, Lucy’s fingers curled around his in spite of herself.

‘I wanted to prove that I really did love you,’ she confessed. ‘It’s hardly any time since I told you I was in love with Kevin, and this feels so, so different…but I can’t see how you could believe me that it was true.’

‘You don’t need to prove anything to me, Cinders,’ said Guy. ‘How can you prove that you love someone? Love isn’t a deal. You can’t say, I’ll love you if you’re like this or you do this, and you can’t test for it. All we can do is love each other and believe in each other, and maybe when we cut our golden anniversary cake we can say look, there’s the proof, but we can’t do that now. We just have to trust each other, and trust in how we feel.’

Lucy couldn’t see very clearly. Her eyes were blurred with the tears that trembled on the ends of her lashes.

‘All I’m trying to say, Lucy, is that I love you as you are,’ said Guy. ‘I know you can do whatever you want to do, and I know you want to prove that to yourself. When you told me that at the party, I thought you wanted me to stand back and let you do it by yourself, I thought that was what you needed, so that’s what I’ve been trying to do. I told myself then that I would give you a month, and then I would tell you what I needed.’

‘Which is?’ whispered Lucy.

‘Which is just to be with you,’ he said. ‘You can do it by yourself, Lucy. I just want to be by your side when you do. I don’t want to help you or do it for you, I just want to cheer you on, and when you have setbacks, as you will, I want to be there to hold you and tell you that I believe in you, that you are the best events manager there has ever been.’

Resigned, the doors opened again.

‘Guy…’ Lucy had lost her battle with the tears. She reached blindly for him and Guy kicked the box aside and yanked her into his arms and kissed her, and as she sank into him, giddy with relief and happiness, there was a burst of applause from those waiting who had been watching the story in the lift unfold with naked interest.

‘About time!’ someone shouted, and Guy grinned as he reached out and pressed the button for the penthouse floor.

They kissed all the way up to the top floor, and all the way back down again because they didn’t notice that the lift had stopped. They were interrupted once on their way back up when the doors opened and an embarrassed voice said, ‘Oh, excuse me,’ but then they were on their way back to the ground floor. A beaming Imogen sent them back up to the penthouse floor again, where Sheila was waiting to haul them out of the lift.

‘Imogen says you’re causing a traffic jam down there,’ she said calmly. ‘You’ve got a perfectly good office to do that kind of thing in, so why don’t you go in and let the rest of us use the lifts?’

Shaking her head, she retrieved the box as Guy led Lucy, reeling with happiness, into his office and firmly closed the door.

‘I’m so happy,’ she said, blizzarding kisses over his face as they tumbled on to one of the sofas. ‘I love you so