Oh-So-Sensible Secretary

Another beer and a fresh martini were placed on the table. Phin pushed my glass towards me. ‘For a start, you’ve got to get this idea that you’re boring out of your head,’ he told me sternly. ‘You’re smart, you’re funny-not always deliberately, I’ll grant you-and you’re sexy as hell.’

CHAPTER FIVE

I STARED at him. Sexy? I was sensible, practical, reliable. Not sexy.

Jewel was sexy, pressing herself against him and sticking her tongue in his ear. Not me, with my glasses on a chain and my neat suits. Phin was either being kind or making fun of me.

For a fleeting moment I remembered the way I had felt as he’d wiped that blob of cream from my cheek, but then I pushed the memory aside. It was too incongruous.

‘All you’ve got to do is make Jonathan appreciate what an incredible woman you are,’ said Phin.

Yeah, right. ‘How?’ I asked, with a trace of sullenness. ‘He never appreciated how “incredible” I was before.’

‘Make him jealous,’ said Phin promptly. ‘I know guys like Jonathan. Hell, I am a guy like Jonathan, and if I saw you with another man I’d be intrigued at the very least. I guarantee Jonathan would start to remember what he saw in you if there’s another guy sniffing around and making it obvious that he thinks you’re incredible.’

‘Well, yes, brilliant idea,’ I said, picking up my glass. The third martini was definitely kicking in now. ‘There’s just one problem. I don’t have another guy.’

‘Start dating again,’ said Phin, as if it was obvious.

‘Oh, sure,’ I said sarcastically. The martinis had made me bolshy, but it was better than snivelling. ‘That’s easy. I’ll just snap my fingers and produce a man.’ I patted my pockets. ‘I’m sure I left one or two lying around somewhere…’

Phin looked at me appreciatively. ‘I see you’re feeling better,’ he said. ‘Look, it can’t be that hard for a girl who looks like you to find a guy. Go and stand at the bar and smile, and I bet they’ll be falling over themselves. Better still, eat a cream doughnut.’

There was a tiny silence. I flickered a glance at Phin. He was smiling, but the blue eyes held that odd expression again-the one that made me feel as if the world was tilting out of kilter.

‘You have no idea, do you?’ he said.

I swallowed. I didn’t want to remember that disconcerting wave of heat. I didn’t want to think about what it meant.

‘I don’t think it would be that easy,’ I told him, my eyes sliding away from his. ‘And even if I did find a boyfriend who wouldn’t mind the fact that I don’t actually want to be with him, when would Jonathan ever find out?’

‘I see what you mean. Someone at work would be better.’

‘Except if it was someone at work Jonathan would just feel sorry for him.’ My confidence was crumbling again. Quick, it was time for another gulp of pomegranate martini.

‘Not if it was obvious he was mad about you.’

‘Oh, so now I have to find a boyfriend who can act, too? I’d have to hire him, and where do you suggest I look?’

‘What about right here?’

I looked around the bar. ‘How do I know if any of these guys can act? Well, the barmen are probably resting actors, but I’d never dare talk to them-they’re far too cool.’

‘No, here,’ said Phin, tapping his chest.

My jaw dropped. ‘You?’

‘There’s no need to look like that! I’m perfect.’

‘I know you think so,’ said the third martini, and Phin grinned.

‘I do think so, and so will you if you think about it,’ he said. ‘Jonathan can hardly not notice if you’re with me, and I think you’ll find I’m not a bad actor. They still talk about my Ugly Sister in the school pantomime and, according to my mother, I stole the show in the nativity play as the sheep that fell over when it tried to kneel in front of the manger.’

‘I don’t know why you’re not in line for an Oscar,’ I said, ‘but why would you want to squander your great talent on me?’

‘I like you,’ said Phin simply, ‘even if you are a bit sharp with me sometimes. If I can help you, I will. Besides, it might work out quite well for me from a PR point of view.’

I frowned. ‘How do you work that out?’

‘Think about it. Jonathan was very keen to push my family credentials in the Glitz interview. How better to do that than pretend I’m about to settle down with you? You can hang around and look good for the article, which means that even if Jonathan hasn’t got the idea before, he definitely will then. A double whammy.’

He sat back smugly while I sipped my martini and considered what he had said. Surely it couldn’t be as easy as Phin seemed to believe?

‘What about Jewel?’ I prevaricated.

‘What about her? You said yourself that she’s been going out with someone else, poor guy. I’m well out of that one!’ said Phin. ‘I wouldn’t have had a plate left in the house. But now I come to think of it,’ he went on, ‘it might not be a bad idea to let her see I’m unavailable now. Just in case she’s thinking she might pick up where we left off before I went to Peru.’

‘I can’t believe you’d have much trouble finding someone else to make sure she gets the point,’ I demurred. ‘There must be much more likely types who would give the impression that you’re ready to settle down.’

‘I wouldn’t want to give anyone the wrong idea,’ said Phin, not bothering to deny it. It would have been annoying if he had, but I was annoyed anyway. ‘I’m not the settling down kind,’ he said. ‘At least with you we’d both know it was just a pretence.’

I blame it on the pomegranate martinis, but it was starting to make a weird kind of sense.

‘No one would believe that I was really your girlfriend,’ I said. ‘You’re used to going out with actresses and models.’

‘Which is why they’ll think I’m serious if they see me with you.’

My, this was doing wonders for my ego.

‘It would only be for a few weeks,’ Phin was saying. ‘You wouldn’t have to do much. Just be seen out at a few parties with me and hang around looking like a girlfriend for the interview. Then we can seem to break it off later, so I can carry on avoiding commitment while you walk off into the sunset with Jonathan.’

‘Do you really think it would make a difference with Jonathan?’ I asked wistfully.

‘Listen, do you really want him back or not?’

‘I really do.’

‘Even though he’s made you feel boring and unlovable?’

‘I love him,’ I said, dangerously close to getting weepy again.

‘OK,’ said Phin, ‘if Jonathan is what you really want, then I think you deserve what you want. The first thing is to make him realise that you’re not boring at all, that you’re quite capable of being spontaneous when you’ve got the right incentive. Make him think that it’s his fault you never had much fun with him- which it probably is, by the way. We’re going to convince him that we’re having a raging affair, and he’s sure to sit up and take notice.’

‘How do we go about having an affair?’ I said doubtfully. I couldn’t see myself being convincing as someone in the throes of a raging affair somehow. It wasn’t the kind of thing I would do. It wasn’t the kind of thing I liked, to be honest. It smacked too much of losing control and abandoning yourself. I liked things calm and steady and safe.

‘Well, let’s see,’ said Phin with a grin. ‘I could take you back to my place. We’ll say it’s just for a drink, but we won’t be able to keep our hands off each other. The moment we’re through the front door I’ll start kissing you, and