Oh-So-Sensible Secretary

‘Yes, I suppose we have,’ I said slowly.

He leant forward eagerly. ‘We’ve got the same outlook, the same values.’

It was true. That was exactly what I had loved about him, but why did he have to wait until now to realise it? Frankly, his timing sucked.

‘Jonathan, I-’

‘It’s OK,’ he interrupted me. ‘You don’t need to say anything. I know how things are with you and Phin right now. I just wanted to tell you how I felt-to let you know that I’m always here for you.’

Why did he have to be so nice? I thought crossly as we made our way back. It would have been so much easier for me if he had turned out to be lazy, or a whinger, or even if he just hadn’t liked Cameroon very much. Then I could have decided that I didn’t love him after all. But in lots of ways I had never liked Jonathan as much as I did then.

Jonathan knew Phin’s reputation as well as I did. He wouldn’t have said anything if he hadn’t thought there was a good chance that my supposed relationship with Phin would end sooner or later.

As it would.

Everything was working out just as Phin had said. It was just a pity I didn’t know what I really wanted any more.

There was a party on our last night in Aduaba. We drank palm wine in the hot, tropical night and listened to the sounds of the forest for the last time. Then the music started. There’s an irresistible rhythm to African music. I could feel it beating in my blood, and when the women pulled me to my feet I danced with them.

I must have looked ridiculous, stamping my feet and waggling my puny bottom, but I didn’t care. The only time I faltered was when I caught Phin watching me, with such a blaze of expression in his eyes that I stumbled momentarily. But when I looked again he was laughing and allowing himself to be drawn into the dance and I decided I must have imagined it.

I ran my fingers over my keyboard as if I had never seen one before. It felt very strange to be back in the office. My head was still full of Africa, and I had found the tube stifling and oppressive on my way into work that morning.

Unsettled, I switched on my computer, and sat down to scroll through the hundreds of e-mails that had accumulated while we’d been away. It was hard to focus, though, and my mind kept drifting back to Aduaba and Phin.

Phin stripped to the waist like the other men, his muscles bulging with effort as they lifted the heavy timbers into place.

Phin laughing with the children in the river.

Phin looking utterly at ease in the heat and the humidity and the wildness.

He strolled in some time after ten, and all the air evaporated from my lungs at the sight of him. I was annoyed to see that he seemed just the same as always, while I felt completely different.

I looked at him over the top of my glasses. ‘I see you didn’t invest in that alarm clock,’ I said crisply, to cover the fact that my heart was cantering around my chest in an alarmingly uncontrolled way.

‘No, but then I don’t need to turn up on time every day, do I?’ said Phin, not at all put out by the sharpness of my greeting. ‘I’m not the one who lost the bet.’

The mention of the bet silenced me, and I bit my lip. Nothing more had been said about it, and I’d convinced myself that Phin hadn’t really been serious. It had just been joke…hadn’t it?

Much to my relief, Phin didn’t say any more, but went into his office and threw himself into his chair. ‘So, what’s been happening?’ he asked. ‘Is there anything that needs to be dealt with right away?’

Grateful to him for behaving normally, I took in my notebook and ran through the most urgent issues. ‘Shall I make some coffee?’ I said, when I had finished scribbling notes.

‘Not just yet,’ said Phin. ‘There’s the small matter of the bet we made.’ He smiled at me as I stared at him in consternation. ‘I think you owe me.’

It was typical of him to let me relax and then catch me off guard. I should have known he’d do something like that.

I swallowed. ‘Now?’

‘I always think it’s best to pay debts straight away, don’t you? Do you remember the terms?’

Drawing a breath, I took off my glasses. ‘I think so,’ I said.

Now that it had come to it, I felt a flicker of excitement. I met Phin’s eyes and wondered if he was waiting for me to renegotiate, and I knew suddenly that I didn’t want to do that.

‘You were right,’ I said clearly. ‘I loved it.’

Calmly, I got to my feet and went round the desk to where Phin sat in a high-backed executive chair. He was silent, watching me as I leant back against the desk and very deliberately pulled the clip from my hair, so that I could shake it loose and let it tumble around my face.

How embarrassing, my sensible side was saying. How unbelievably inappropriate. How tacky.

It was bad enough making a bet like that with your boss, without playing up to his patriarchal male fantasies. How had I got myself into a situation where I was feeling a bit naughty, a bit dirty, a bit sexy in the office?

How could I possibly be turned on by it?

But I was. I can hardly bear to remember it without cringing, but at the time…oh, yes, I certainly was.

I smiled slowly at Phin. ‘How am I doing so far?’

‘Perfect,’ he said, but his voice was strained and I felt a spurt of triumph, even power that I could have that effect on him just by letting down my hair.

Levering myself away from the desk, I moved closer to him. One by one I undid the buttons of my jacket, even though I was having one of those out-of-body experiences again and screaming at myself, What are you doing? Stop it right now!

Phin said nothing, but his eyes were very dark as he watched me, and I could see him struggling to keep his breathing even. When my jacket was open to reveal the cream silk camisole I wore underneath, I leant down and pressed my mouth to the pulse that was beating frantically in his throat.

I heard Phin suck in his breath, and I smiled against his skin, slipping my arms around his neck and easing myself onto his lap so that I could kiss my way slowly, slowly, along his jaw to the edge of his mouth.

‘Am I doing it right?’ I whispered.

‘God, yes,’ he said raggedly, and his arms came up to fasten around me as I kissed him at last.

His lips parted beneath mine, drawing me in, and the chair spun round as his hand slid possessively under my skirt. It might have been tacky, it might have been deeply, deeply inappropriate, but it felt so good I didn’t care.

I have a hazy memory that I thought I should be in control, but if I ever was I soon lost it. It wasn’t as if Phin was in control either. That kiss was stronger than both of us. It ripped through our meagre defences, rampaging like wildfire in the blood, sucking us up like a twister to a place far from the office where there were only lips and tongues, only hands moving greedily, insistently, only the pounding of our hearts and the throb of our bodies and the sweet, dangerous intoxication of a kiss that went on and on and on.

Sadly, the office hadn’t forgotten us. The sound of a throat being loudly cleared gradually penetrated. We paused, our mouths still pressed together, our tongues still entwined, and then our eyes opened at exactly the same time.

The throat was cleared again. As if at a trigger, we jerked apart, and I would have leapt off Phin’s knee if he hadn’t held me tightly in place as he swung his chair back to face the door.

Lex Gibson was standing there, looking bored.

‘I did knock,’ he said. ‘Three times.’

I struggled to get up, but Phin held me tight. ‘We’re a bit busy here, Lex.’

‘So I saw. Good to see that work ethic kicking in at last,’ said Lex, who had his own line in sardonic humour when it suited him.

‘Did you want something?’ Phin countered. ‘Or are you just here to ruin a perfect morning?’

‘I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important,’ said Lex dryly.