Oh-So-Sensible Secretary

him again, as long as he would hold me again.

I wrinkled my nose at the musty smell that met me as I opened the shop door the next morning. I had to push against the pile of junk mail and free newspapers that had accumulated since my mother had last been in.

Depressed, I picked it all up and carried it over to the counter. Straight away I could see that someone had broken into the cash register. The only consolation was that they wouldn’t have found much money. The stock, unsurprisingly, was untouched. I didn’t suppose there was much of a black market in dusty dreamcatchers or vegan cookbooks.

A manual on how to make contact with your personal guardian angel was propped on display next to a pile of weird and wonderful teas. I could have done with a guardian angel myself right then, I thought, riffling through the pages with my fingers as I looked around the shop and wondered where to begin.

Coffee, I decided, dropping the book back onto the counter. There was a kettle out at the back, where the back door had been broken down. I supposed I would have to do something about that, too.

The kettle didn’t work. No electricity, of course. Sighing, I went back into the shop-and stopped dead as the whole world tilted and a fierce joy rushed through me with such force that I reeled.

Phin was standing at the counter, with a takeaway coffee in each hand and a bag under his arm.

‘Oh, good,’ he said. ‘I’ve found the right place at last.’

‘Phin…’ I stammered. He looked so wonderful, lighting up the shop just by standing there. He was very brown, and his eyes looked bluer than ever. I was so glad to see him I almost cried.

‘Hello, cream puff,’ he said, carefully putting the coffees down.

I still couldn’t take in the fact that he was actually there. I had wanted to see him so much I was afraid I might be imagining him. ‘Phin, what are you doing here?’

‘Lex told me you were down here trying to sort out your mother’s finances,’ he said conversationally. ‘I thought you could do with a hand.’

‘But how on earth did you find me?’

‘There aren’t that many New Age shops in Taunton, but I’ve been round them all. I only had one more to try after this one.’

My throat was so tight I couldn’t speak.

‘It’s nearly eleven o’clock,’ said Phin, lifting the paper bag. ‘I knew you’d be craving some sugar.’

‘You brought doughnuts?’

‘I thought that was what you’d need.’

No one had ever thought about what I needed before. That was what I had wanted most of all. To my horror, my eyes filled with tears. I blinked them fiercely away.

‘I always need a doughnut,’ I said unevenly.

‘Then let’s have these, and we can talk about what needs to be done.’

We boosted ourselves onto the counter. I’ll never forget the taste of that doughnut: the squirt of jam as I bit into it, the contrast of the squidgy dough and the gritty sugar. And, most of all, the incredible, glorious fact that Phin was there, right beside me, sipping lukewarm coffee and brushing sugar from his fingers.

Only last night I’d decided that if I ever saw him again I would seduce him into a wild affair, but now that he was here I felt ridiculously shy, and my heart was banging so frantically in my throat I could barely get any words out. Typical. I didn’t even know how to begin being wild.

But right then I didn’t care. I only cared that he was there.

‘I thought you’d still be in the States,’ I said as I sipped my coffee.

‘No, I decided to come straight back once we got to Boston. I got home first thing on Friday morning.’

I did a quick calculation. It was Tuesday, so he had been back four days and I hadn’t known.

‘What have you been doing with yourself?’

‘I had things to do,’ he said vaguely. ‘I didn’t realise you were here until I talked to Lex last night.’

And he had come straight down to help me. My heart was slamming painfully against my ribs.

‘It must be a bit of culture shock,’ I said unsteadily. ‘From glamorous ocean race to failed New Age shop in Taunton.’

Phin smiled. ‘I like contrasts,’ he said.

‘Still, you must be exhausted.’ Draining my coffee, I set the empty beaker on the counter beside me. ‘It was so nice of you to come, but there was really no need.’

‘I didn’t like it when Lex said you were here alone.’

‘I’m fine. Taunton’s not exactly dangerous.’

‘That’s not the point. You don’t have to do everything on your own.’

But that was exactly what I did have to do. ‘I’m used to it,’ I said.

‘Where’s Jonathan?’ said Phin, frowning. ‘If he cared about you at all, he would be here.’

‘I’m sure Jonathan would have come down if I’d asked for his help, but it never occurred to me to tell him about my mother. Besides,’ I went on carefully, ‘it wouldn’t have been fair of me to ask him when I’d just refused to marry him.’

I felt Phin still beside me. ‘You refused?’ he repeated, as if wanting to be sure.

‘Yes, I…Yes,’ I finished inadequately.

My eyes locked with his then, and silence reverberated around the shop. ‘Anyway,’ I said, ‘you’re here instead.’

‘Yes,’ said Phin. ‘I’m here.’

Our eyes seemed to be having a much longer conversation-one that set hope thudding along my veins. I could feel a smile starting deep inside me, trembling out to my mouth, but I was torn. Part of me longed to throw myself into his arms, but my sensible self warned me to be careful.

If I was going to seduce him, I was going to do it properly. The scenario I had in mind demanded that I was dressed in silk and stockings. My hair would be loose and silky, my skin soft, my nails painted Vixen. I couldn’t embark on the raunchy affair I had in mind wearing jeans and a faded sweatshirt, with my hair scraped back in a ponytail.

I wondered if Phin had also been having a chat with his sensible side, because he was the one who broke the moment. Draining his coffee, he set down the paper cup.

‘So, what needs to be done?’

I didn’t say that he had already done everything I needed just by being there. ‘Really just cleaning up and getting rid of all this stuff somehow.’ I told him what the landlord had said.

Phin’s brows snapped together. ‘He shouted at you?’

‘He was just frustrated. I know how he feels.’ I sighed. ‘I’d spent the whole day trying to deal with Mum, too. I was ready to shout myself! It’s OK now, though. I’ve paid the rent arrears and settled the outstanding bills so everyone’s happy.’

‘That must have added up to a bit.’ Phin looked at me closely when I just shrugged. ‘You used your savings, didn’t you, CP?’ he said.

I managed a crooked smile. ‘It’s just money, as Mum always says.’

‘It was for your flat,’ said Phin, looking grimmer than I had ever seen him. ‘Your security. You worked for that money. You needed it.’

‘Mum needed it more,’ I said. ‘It’s OK, Phin. I’m fine about it-and Mum’s very grateful. I’ve freed her up to get on with healing the galactic core, and the way things are going at the moment that might turn out to be quite a good investment!’

Phin’s expression relaxed slightly, and I saw the familiar glimmer of a smile at the back of his eyes.

‘Anyway,’ I went on, ‘I’ve decided to stop worrying so much about the future.’ I smiled back at him as I jumped off the counter. ‘You taught me that. I’m going to try living in the moment, the way you and Mum do.’

‘Are you, now?’ The smile had spread to his face, denting the corner of his mouth and twitching his lips.

‘I am. You won’t recognise me,’ I told him. ‘I’m going to be selfish and irresponsible…just as soon as I’ve finished clearing up here.’

Phin got off the counter with alacrity, and tossed the paper cups into the bin. ‘In that case, let’s get on with it. I can’t wait to see the new, selfish Summer.’

I can’t tell you how easy everything seemed now that there were two of us. Phin sorted everything. He left me