made sure she didn’t miss having a father.”
“I’m sure you did. But you must have missed the emotional support yourself.”
“Why? I had Bonnie, I didn’t need anyone else.” She shrugged. “Stop thinking of me as some heartbroken victim. Sex was the only thing that bound me to Bonnie’s father. I made a mistake. Our time together happened like a lightning flash, then it was gone. But I had my daughter and that was all that mattered.” A luminous smile suddenly lit her face. “Anyone who has never had a child like Bonnie is the victim, not me.”
“I can see that.” He had been watching with fascination the play of expressions that flitted across her face. Every now and then he could capture the Eve she had been before she had been forced to face the horror that now dominated her life. “It just surprised me that it happened when you were so young.”
“It surprised me, too. I assure you I wasn’t prepared to be a mother. All I wanted to do was get out of the projects and build a decent life for myself.”
“But you decided to keep her.”
“She was mine,” she said simply. “I couldn’t give her up. You’d understand if you had a child.” She tilted her head. “Or do you?”
He chuckled. “You mean you don’t know? Rick Donald must have slipped up.”
“He said you weren’t married, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a child.” She finished her salad and put down her fork. “I can’t tell you how many unwed mothers lived in the projects where I grew up. Men don’t have a great sense of responsibility where their children are concerned.”
“I’d take care of my own.” He smiled faintly. “And, no, I don’t have any kids. I’ve been too busy to make that kind of commitment. And for me, it would be a commitment. I know what it’s like to feel like an orphan.”
“Oh, yes, your parents are dead. Were you very young?”
“No, it was after I went into the service. A yachting accident. Just the way they would have liked it.”
“Weren’t you a little old to feel like an orphan? I was feeling sorry for you. I don’t know why. You have as much money as Richie Rich.”
“Richie Rich? He was a comic book character, wasn’t he? Lord, I admit I haven’t had anyone compare me to him.”
“Bonnie liked those comic books. She thought all the gadgets and toys Richie owned sounded fun.”
“I’m surprised you encouraged such blatant materialism.”
“Why not? It was a world full of fun and adventure. Bonnie never wanted to own any of the toys. She just liked to learn about them.” She smiled. “And they were so outrageous that I doubt even you owned anything like them. Did you?”
“I received a few fairly ‘outrageous’ gifts from my parents from time to time. Usually, they were sent as a substitute for some trip they’d promised me. Or when I’d been unusually good for a time and not gotten tossed out of the current school of choice where they’d sent me.” He grimaced. “That didn’t happen often.”
“You weren’t a good boy?”
“I was a bastard,” he said flatly. “My parents didn’t care as long as I didn’t get in their way. I did that a lot. I was willful and reckless and willing to fight to get what I wanted. It was no wonder that I wasn’t welcome in their orderly lives. My father was a stockbroker and my mother was a socialite who did nothing but look pretty and act as my father’s hostess, companion, and mistress. They lived smooth, pleasant lives, parties and trips to the Hamptons, journeys on my father’s yacht. That’s all they wanted, and I disturbed the flow.” He lifted his shoulders in a half shrug. “So most of the time, when I wasn’t being a son of a bitch, I just stayed away from them. It was better for both of us.”
“I can see that it might be. Poor little rich boy.”
He chuckled. “Are you mocking me?”
“Yes.” She met his gaze. “Because whatever hurt you, you’ve managed to put it behind you. You can take a little mockery now, can’t you? I feel sorry for the boy whose parents didn’t want him, but I’m familiar with a lot of those kinds of stories. Most of them didn’t include the soothing clink of coins to ease the pain. Sorry if you think that I’m not suitably sympathetic.”
“But you’re trying to be honest.”
She nodded. “I think you were as tough a person then as you are now. We’re alike in that. We’ve both learned to look ahead, not behind us.”
“And you’re not impressed by my wicked past?”
“Not as a kid. You’ll have to do better than that.” She frowned. “If you were kicked out of all those schools, how did you get into Harvard?”
“I cheated?” He shook his head. “No, I’m too damn smart. Things are easy for me. That’s why I was so frustrating for everyone. My parents swore I’d never get into Harvard, so I set out to do it. And I made it through.”
“Brilliantly?”
“Of course, it wouldn’t have given me any satisfaction if I hadn’t done it well.” He waited for the waiter to change out their salads for the sandwich plates. “My parents wanted me to go into politics. They thought a senator would be a nice addition to their circle. I took a look at Congress and decided that I’d probably be a zombie by the time I was thirty. So I joined the SEALs instead.”
“From what I’ve heard, they definitely don’t develop zombies.”
“No, I’ve never felt more alive in my life. They made me into the quintessential warrior, with all the skills and opportunities for battle. I’d found my niche in life.”
“Then why did you get out?”
“I liked it too much,” he said simply. “And I was too good at it. At first, I considered myself a patriot, and that was okay. Then there comes a point when you know you’re coming too close to the line between fighting for a reason and doing battle for the sheer heady love it. If you don’t stop before you cross that line, then you become what you’re fighting. I was tottering on the brink because I knew I was good enough to let loose all that violence and skill and probably never have to account to anyone. It was a hard decision for me to make.”
She studied him. “I can understand how it would be.”
Yes, she could sense that streak of wildness and violence in him, and he wouldn’t try to hide it from her. She wasn’t afraid of those qualities in him. If she was, then he’d have to handle that as it came to the forefront. He wasn’t going to lie to her about that side of his character. He hated deceit, and he was having to practice too much of it with her.
“Why the FBI?” she asked.
“It offered a certain amount of action, the technology interested me. I’d always been good at search and destroy. I’m insatiably curious, and I liked puzzles.” He nodded at the waiter, who was filling their coffee cups. “And it forced me to be the good guy.” He smiled. “You wanted frankness. Did I give you too much?”
She shook her head. “Because you’re no saint? I admire the fact that you know yourself and are setting up barricades to be the person you want to be. I don’t believe I’ve ever met anyone who had the discipline to do that.”
“Necessity. Everyone has a choice to make about the path they take.” He lifted his cup to his lips. “And I noticed that you have a great deal of discipline.”
“I thought I did.” She took a sip of her coffee. “I’m a mother and a daughter, and I worked two jobs and went to college. That kind of responsibility forces you to develop discipline, or you end up a basket case.” She looked down. “Particularly in this situation.”
He acted quickly to distract her. “You’re a student. What are you studying?”
“Electrical engineering.”
“I wouldn’t have thought that would be your forte.”
“Why not? I’ll be good at it.”
“I don’t doubt it. No offense. But you don’t impress me as…” He half shrugged. “I saw that sketch of your daughter in the upper hall of your house. It was very good. I can see you as an artist or a designer. But, then, I could be wrong. Am I?”
“You’re very perceptive. I’ve dabbled at drawing in my spare time. When I’m not waiting tables at Mac’s Diner, I work for a photographer part-time doing sketches of kids and dogs. Some parents prefer sketches to the realism of the camera. I like it, but I’ve never been tempted to try to earn a living at it. Engineering is more practical and secure. I have to support my Bonnie.” She looked him in the eyes. “If I still have my daughter. That woman
