often disappointed. You took action to achieve your needs; you didn’t hope for them. Yet it was hope stirring within her now. It had been growing day by day on their journey. The child?
“I feel…” She couldn’t explain what she didn’t understand herself. “I feel as if everything is going to be all right.”
“Perhaps it will.”
She made a face. “Or perhaps this contentment is God’s way of protecting babes.”
“It’s possible. It’s certainly brought a change in you. You’ve not even mentioned Tarik or the grail since you found you were with child.”
It had not seemed important. Only getting to Kadar and the reality of the child was of any significance. “Kadar says when I fix my mind on something, I can’t see anything else. I suppose he’s right.”
“He appears to know you very well.”
“Yes.” All those hours and days and years together. “How long before we arrive in Rome?”
“Three days.”
In three days she would see Kadar again. Three days and he would know about the child. Not that it would change things, but she would see his face and it would be-
“Sweet Mary, are you ill again?”
Her startled gaze flew to Layla’s face. “Why would you think that?”
“You have a most asinine and befuddled expression.”
Selene frowned. “I do not. I was merely-” She stopped as she realized Layla was smiling. “Your humor is unkind.”
“Humor is humor. Kind or unkind, it’s our salvation. Become accustomed to my roughness. I can be no other way.” She looked into the fire. “Will you stay with him?”
“No.”
“Why not? A blind woman could see you have a fondness for him.”
“Yes.”
“But you’re fighting it.”
“No, I’m done with fighting it. But that doesn’t mean I should stay with him. It probably means I should not.” She paused. “I thought he was the one person on this earth who would never lie to me. But he did.”
“Treachery?”
“Not exactly.”
“We all lie to each other on occasion. To be kind, to be cruel.” She paused. “Just as we lie to ourselves.”
Selene stiffened. “You’re saying I lie to myself?”
“Possibly. You said Tarik told you that you were like me. There’s a part of each of us in the center of our being that remains alone and inviolate. It’s hard for me to let anyone get close to that center, even a loved one. You may be the same.” She lifted her gaze. “If you have reason, leave this Kadar, but don’t lie to yourself to protect that aloneness. Loneliness can be very bitter.”
“I never lie to myself,” Selene said quickly. “And, besides, Tarik said if I stayed with Kadar I’d be a danger to him.”
“Tarik had his own reasons to want you away from him.”
“But I believe this to be true.”
“There are other solutions to danger than running away.” She rolled up in her blanket and closed her eyes. “Think about it.”
“I don’t need to think about it. I’ve made my decision and I’ll not-”
“Go to sleep.” Layla yawned. “I weary of talking to you, and I need my rest. No doubt you’ll wake me early with that hideous retching.”
She had closed her out, Selene realized with frustration. She turned and strode to her own pallet.
“You look troubled. Do you not feel well?” Haroun asked from his own pallet a few yards away.
She smiled with an effort as she lay down. “I’m only tired.”
“We should not force the pace. You need your rest.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do.” She rolled over on her side and closed her eyes. “I’m fine. It will only be another three days.”
But she wasn’t sure she would be able to survive Haroun’s hovering for those three days without exploding. She should never have told him about the babe.
“Do you need another blanket?”
“No, I’m quite warm.”
“I could stir the fire.”
She said slowly and carefully, pausing between each word, “I don’t need anything, Haroun.”
She didn’t know which was worse: Layla, with her relentless determination to use her to better the lot of all women, or Haroun, who wanted to smother her beneath this blanket of cosseting.
She’d be glad to get to Rome.
And Kadar.
Even if she could not stay with him, it would do no harm to imagine his joy when he learned of the child. He had grown up alone in the streets, and a babe, someone of his own, would mean as much to him as to Selene.
Too much? Would it hurt him when she left with the babe? Dear God, she never wanted to hurt Kadar.
One step at a time. She would face the consequences later. Now she must only get to Rome and make sure the babe was protected by holy vows from the cruelties of the world.
“Lady Selene!”
Haroun.
His hand was on her shoulder, roughly shaking her.
“You must wake. We must leave. Nasim-”
She was instantly awake and saw Haroun’s anxious face above her.
“Antonio says there are riders coming down the road.” He pulled her to her feet. “He thinks he recognized Nasim.”
It was still dark. Only a thread of pale moonlight filtered through the cloud cover. How could Antonio be sure of-
They couldn’t take the chance. “How far?”
“I don’t know. Minutes-” He turned away and ran toward the horses and began saddling her mare. Layla had finished saddling her own horse and was leading it toward Selene. “Get on my horse and get out of here,” Layla said curtly. “Hurry.”
“No, I’ll wait for-”
“No time. We’ll be right behind you. Would you risk the child?”
Terror tore through her. If Nasim learned she was with child, he would take a boy child, kill a girl. She could not put the babe in danger. She stopped arguing and mounted Layla’s horse. “Where will we meet?”
Layla pointed to a dense wood in the distance. “It should be easy to hide among the trees.” She struck the horse on the hindquarters and sent it careering off at a dead run.
Wind stung her cheeks.
Her clothes pressed close to her body.
She glanced over her shoulder.
No one was coming. Where were Layla and-
Mustn’t panic. It had been only a few minutes.
Relief poured through her as she caught sight of Layla, Haroun, and Antonio tearing out of the glade.
She could see no one pursuing them. Perhaps it was all a mistake. Perhaps it was not Nasim.
And perhaps it was.
She put spurs to the horse.
The wood was just ahead.
Then it was here, around her. Darkness. Shadows. The thick canopy of branches overhead. Safety.
“Off the horse.” Layla reined in beside her and jumped down. “Give your horse a slap to set him running and
