“I don’t care who you are.” His tone vibrated with anger and frustration. “I want to know what happened to Haroun and what’s wrong with Selene.”
“There’s no need for harshness,” Tarik said. “Layla didn’t harm Haroun.”
He was defending her. Layla felt a rush of warmth. How pitiful she had become to feel so much pleasure from such a little thing. “How do you know? You seem to think me capable of anything.”
“How did Haroun die?” Kadar repeated.
“Nasim killed him.” She briefly related their flight into the woods and the discovery of Haroun’s body.
“God’s blood,” Kadar murmured. “Haroun…”
“He seemed a good lad and very devoted to Selene.”
“Yes, he was.”
“Particularly toward the last.” Should she tell him? Why not? She didn’t know whether Selene intended to tell him about the child, but she had not been able to reach Selene in the past days. Perhaps Kadar could do it. “After he learned Selene was with child.”
Kadar’s eyes widened in shock. “What?”
“That’s why she was coming to see you. She thought you’d give your name to protect the child.”
A slow smile lit his face, and in that instant she could see why Selene was drawn to him. “Of course I-”
“Wait.” As usual, she had been clumsy. “She lost the child after we found Haroun.”
His smile vanished. “Dear God,” he whispered.
“It was a terrible blow to her. Together with Haroun’s death, it was-She seemed to change overnight.”
“You don’t have to tell me that.” His fists clenched at his sides. “I’ve never seen her like this. She’s not the same.”
“Don’t be stupid. Of course she’s not the same. Some women
“Gently.” Tarik’s hand fell on her arm. “We all know Selene is in pain. Now we have to find a way to help her.”
“If she’ll let us,” Layla said. “It’s as if she’s built a wall around herself to keep everyone out.”
“She’ll let us,” Kadar said. “Because we’ll do everything we can to make sure she does.” A muscle jerked in his taut cheek. “Do you hear me? I won’t have her hurting like this.”
“Time and patience will help heal the wound,” Tarik said.
“Selene has never understood patience, and I can’t see her learning now.”
“You’re the one who appears to be without patience.”
“She’s
“If it’s within my power.”
“That’s not good enough. You’re going to give it to her.” His glance went from Tarik to Layla and back again. “I don’t care what’s between you. I don’t care about the grail. I’m tired of having you and Nasim interfering with our lives. It’s not going to happen anymore.”
“Kadar, I’m not arguing about-”
“She wants to talk to all of us after supper tonight.” He turned and started to stalk back up the hill. “You’re going to listen and, by God, if you say one word to upset her, I’ll make you pay.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kadar asked.
Selene whirled to see him standing in the doorway of her chamber. His face was pale, his eyes glittering, and she instinctively stiffened. “What are you doing here?”
“Didn’t I have the right to know?” He moved forward and slammed the door. “It was my child, for God’s sake.”
“I was going to tell you.”
“When? This evening? A joint announcement to Tarik and me? You didn’t think I deserved to hear it alone?” His hands fell on her shoulders. “You let Tarik’s wife, a stranger, be the one to tell me.”
She looked away from him. “I didn’t want to talk about it.”
His face softened. “Selene.” His hands gently kneaded her shoulders. “We have to talk about it. We shared the pleasure that created the child, now let me share the pain. I can help you.”
She could feel herself softening, bending toward him like a tree in a strong breeze. He would understand. He had wanted the child.
She mustn’t soften. She had to remain strong and rock hard. “Do you want me to weep and moan? My babe is dead. Haroun is dead. Weeping won’t bring them back.”
“I don’t want you to weep. I want you to let me share. You’re not being fair to me.”
She backed away from him. “I want you to leave me now. I’ll see you this evening.”
“The devil I’ll leave you.” He took a step forward. “You can’t shove me into the background and lump me with Tarik and Layla. We’ve been comrades and lovers. For God’s sake, we’ve conceived a child. We’ve shared too much.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. Nothing matters more than-” He drew a deep breath. “This is wrong. I lost control. I didn’t mean to argue with you. I meant to be all that was gentle and understanding.”
“Then understand that I want you to go.”
“I’m leaving.” He moved toward the door. “And for now I’ll obediently fade into the background where you want me. But it won’t last, Selene. I won’t let it last.”
He did not slam the door, but the closing was crisp and decisive.
He was gone. She crossed her arms across her chest to still their trembling. She had thought she was frozen, but she was coming alive again. She had desperately wanted to reach out and take the comfort he offered. She should have known Kadar would be capable of getting past any barrier and jarring her.
But she hadn’t yielded, and he had left her.
Triumph.
It didn’t feel like triumph. It felt bitter and uncertain and very, very lonely.
Kadar’s hands clenched into fists as he walked blindly down the hall.
She was in pain and he couldn’t help her.
By God, he couldn’t
She had shut him away from her. It had happened before, but he always knew that given time and patience he could break through. But this was not the same. He had never seen her like this. She seemed years older, and the walls she had thrown up were iron hard.
Stop feeling and start thinking. There was always something to be done. There had to be some way to approach her that she would accept.
But they knew each other too well. She would be on guard against any familiar ploy. Whatever path he chose would have to be one they had never walked before.
That evening Selene was about to leave her chamber when Kadar knocked on the door.
“I trust you have no objection to me escorting you?” Kadar asked silkily. “I may not be of importance to you in any other way, but I do have my uses.”
She moved past him and down the hall. “This isn’t necessary.”
“But you don’t know the villa.” He fell into step with her. “You might become lost.”
“I doubt it. It’s not even as large as Sienbara.”
“Then indulge me because it brings me pleasure. That gown is quite becoming. I’ve always liked you in white. Where did you get it?”
“Tarik. I suppose it’s one of the servant’s. They all wear white.”
“Very considerate. I should have thought of it myself, but I was a trifle preoccupied.”
She glanced at him warily. There was none of the barely repressed frustration and despair that had characterized him earlier.
His tone was lazy, his demeanor faintly mocking, but she was aware of some other emotion that she couldn’t define, and it made her uneasy. She wasn’t accustomed to not knowing what Kadar was thinking.
He smiled. “I suggested Tarik and Layla wait for us on the terrace. The evening is too fine to stay inside. Did you notice the sunset?”
