A few moments later, gasps and sucking sobs took the place of Cassie's cries. Then she silenced and I saw that her eyes were closed.
Cindy returned to the rocking chair and began to whisper harshly: 'I'm really, really, really sorry. I'm so- That was- God I'm a horrible mother!'
Barely audible, but the anguish in her voice opened Cassie's eyes. The little girl stared up at her mother and mewled.
'No, no, baby, it's okay. I'm sorry-it's okay.'
Mouthing to me: 'I'm horrible.'
Cassie started to cry again.
'No, no, it's okay, honey. I'm good. If you want me to be good, I'm good. I'm a good mommy, yes, I am, yes-yes, honey, everything's okay.
Okay?'
Forcing herself to smile down at Cassie. Cassie reached up and touched one of Cindy's cheeks.
'Oh, you are so good, little girl,' said Cindy, in a crumbling voice.
'You are so good to your mommy. You are so, so good!'
'Ma ma.'
'Mama loves you.'
'Ma ma.'
'You're so good to your mama. Cassie Brooks Jones is the best girl, the sweetest girl.'
Ma ma. Mamama.'
'Mama loves you so much. Mama loves you so much.' Cindy looked at me.
Looked at the play table.
'Mama loves you,' she said into Cassie's ear. And Dr. Delaware's a very good friend, honey. Here, see?'
She turned Cassie's head toward me. I tried another smile, hoping it looked better than it felt.
Cassie shook her head violently and said, 'Nuh!'
'Remember, he's our friend, honey? All those pretty drawings he did for you at the hospita-' 'Nuh!'
'The animals-' 'Nub nuh!'
'C'mon, honey, there's nothing to be scared of-' 'Nuuuh!'
'Okay, okay. It's okay, Cass.'
I got up.
Are you going?' said Cindy. Alarm in her voice.
I pointed to the bathroom. 'May I?'
'Oh. Sure. There's one just off the entry hall too.'
'This is fine.'
'Sure... Meantime, I'll try to calm her down I'm really, really sorry.'
