“Believe me, I’ve been giving it a lot of thought,” he grumbled sitting back down with a sigh.
His words stunned me, and a girly part of me that I wanted to choke wondered if perhaps I played a part in his inner battle. Something occurred to me, and with a knitted brow, I asked. “Wait a second. If you’re not allowed to fight the daemons, then why did you come to my rescue? Doesn’t that mean you’re already banished?”
He shifted with an uncomfortable look and I gaped at him.
“You didn’t tell them did you?” I accused. “An angel and a liar.” I whirled to Lily. “See! I told you he couldn’t be trusted. He can’t even be honest with his own side.”
“I couldn’t let you die,” he interjected in an angry tone.
“So tell your leaders the truth then. Surely, they’ll understand.”
“In Heaven, things are pretty black and white. Thou shall not kill is a rule we all must follow or face banishment at the very least.”
“But they’re daemons!” I exclaimed. “Angels are supposed to stand against them. What the fuck?”
He shook his head. “Our days of combat against the daemonic forces reside in a past my kind would prefer to be forgotten. And as for my actions, I can’t deny hiding the truth. If it were known I’d taken a life, even one as foul as that of a daemon’s, I’d be yanked back to Heaven with no hope of returning to earth, ever.”
“I don’t intend to tell anyone about what you did. Actually, even better, tell people I saved your ass. I do have a reputation to maintain.”
Lily’s giggle rang out reminding me that my conversation with Rafe was under observation. “How fabulously entertaining. And while I’d love to discourse some more, one of my servants is calling me. If you would both please excuse me.” Lily, with a grace that women envied, took her leave of us. It didn’t escape me that I was all alone with Rafe in the cavernous receiving chamber, a room which suddenly seemed a lot smaller. I needed space -and time to process what I’d learned.
“I’m also needed elsewhere,” I said jumping up from my seat and moving towards the door.
“Wait,” he called.
I ignored him and left the room.
“I want to talk to you,” Rafe called after me as I fled up the hall.
I walked faster in reply until I was almost flying. The jerk moved even faster and I ran into a brick wall that grew hands to steady me.
I glared up at him even as my body warmed in pleasure at his closeness. “Go away.”
“I can’t.”
“Why? Did the big angels in charge order you to watch the slaughter?” I still hadn’t learned the real reason for his kind abstaining from combat, and I didn’t really care.
“No. Actually, I’m supposed to be staying away from you and everyone else involved in the upcoming war.”
I grimaced as he told me yet more things I didn’t want to hear. “Then why are you here? I mean, seriously, you’re like in the heart of the upcoming chaos.”
He sighed. “I’m here because I can’t help myself. I can’t stay away.”
He let go of me and whirled, his hands scrubbing a messy path through his blond hair.
I wanted to ask what kept him here, but found myself strangely afraid.
Blazing blue eyes turned to meet mine with a stare that sucked the breath from me. Intense and smoldering, the swirling emotions were almost too much to bear. “I can’t help but want you. And I can’t seem to find the strength to stay away.”
There, he’d said it. The words I wanted. The words I craved. The feelings I shared. The fantasy that could never come true. “You can’t have me. Toxic, remember?” My attempted smile quivered as my emotions fought me, despair in the forefront.
“We don’t know for sure,” he said as he grabbed me about the waist and pulled me into his hard body. I allowed myself to enjoy the feel of him against me, the fleeting brush of his lips across my temple, the gentleness he offered and I’d long ago forgotten in my determined pursuit of blood and power.
The ruthless Elizabeth, the woman known and feared as the Blood Countess, would have taken what he offered and said screw the consequences, even should they end up deadly.
The new Ellie, the one who’d discovered her heart hadn’t died with her humanity, cried; the fat and hot tears rolling down my cheeks. He stroked the liquid with the pad of his thumb and even through my bleary vision-and shame at my emotional state-I could see the pain on his face.
I hated this visual display of my weakness. I also hated that I couldn’t convince him to stay away-far away where temptation wouldn’t work against us. So, I did the only thing I could. Under the guise of bitchiness-which I used to mask my protection of the first man I’d ever truly loved-I gave him the one ultimatum I knew he wouldn’t honor. The one thing I could use against him in order to save him.
“Toxic or not, I still can’t be with a man who won’t stand beside me as I fight darkness.” I flung the words at him like an accusation, my tone dripping with disdain.
“I’ve told you why I can’t.”
I pushed from his warm embrace, my body shivering in cold-a frigid sensation that spread from my shrinking heart. “If you truly cared for me, you’d protect me and fight by my side.”
His face tightened with anger. “You would have me blatantly break my vows? Give up everything I’ve ever known. And you, what would you give in return?”
The words tumbled from my lips, unbidden and shocking. “I’d give you my heart.”
His eyes widened in surprise, but before he could reply, I fled, drawing shadows around me to hide. I ran blindly, the tears washing down my face in waves, in partnership with the wrenching pain in my heart. A stabbing agony that made me gasp as I heard him call me, his voice anguished and pleading.
I ignored his call and shoved my surprising emotional reaction back into the locked room of my mind-the walled fortress where I’d banished my humanity and feelings. Calmness restored, if taut with tension, I weaved the hidden paths of the castle to a place known only to myself.
But hiding from the angel who made me want to care was easy. Hiding from myself and my misery proved a lot harder.
Chapter Ten
I managed to avoid Rafe the rest of the night, not as easy as it sounded considering everywhere I went my human staff, with wide eyes, told me about the blond giant looking for me. The vamps knew better than to say anything, but I could see the mirth in their eyes, a laughter I quickly dispelled with my scowls and barked commands.
I wrapped up my affairs and left marching orders with my subordinates. I wasn’t needed here in person. The age of technology made me capable of doing my job from anywhere in the world. So I flew back home to hide. Not the estate I’d commandeered for the human announcement, but my true home hidden in the heart of Hungary and far from prying eyes-and one sexy angel.
But even while hiding and nursing a broken heart-with lots of blood and vodka-I worked hard. Reports were piling in at an alarming rate as daemon sightings increased. The addition of the shifters to our ranks meant I had enough squads to take care of the problem, but only if the daemons kept appearing in single digits.
Even worse than the snowballing daemonic events, though, was the fact the human press had caught on to the murderous sprees. As I’d warned, the vampires were immediately blamed for the surge in torn apart bodies being discovered and the high numbers of humans going missing.
The queen, in an attempt to placate the humans, finally issued a press statement via video from the safety of her hidden castle. I watched it on CNN and shook my head, the cynic in me already anticipating the result.
