‘helped’ him with two nights before.
Water still flowing uphill? Hmm. Maybe it needed a little more work.
But, instead of starting to correct things, he found himself staring down at the screen and smiling. Hell, he’d enjoyed playing with Henry so much.
He’d still see him.
He shook himself, realising where his thoughts were taking him. Right back to Tammy!
Sure, he’d see Henry, but from now on he’d see him on his terms, he thought savagely. Not on the crazy terms Tammy had set. Every second day…
Ridiculous.
He glanced at his watch. Seven. Ha! On Tammy’s terms he’d be taking over Henry’s care right now. Well, he’d sorted that out. She’d be back at the palace and she’d settle down to care for Henry and her precious trees. Alone.
Which was what he wanted-wasn’t it?
Of course it was. Tammy had nothing to do with him. So he had no right to be feeling as he was feeling right now. As if she’d just drive up the driveway and open the door and come into his arms…
Crazy. It was a crazy way to think and he had to move on. He and Tammy? No and no and no.
He had to do some work! He turned back to his laptop but was distracted by the sound of a car approaching. He half rose and then settled. It’d be nothing, he told himself, annoyed that his gut had given a stupid, hopeful lurch. It’d be a tradesman. A delivery van. This was a working farm, after all, and he had a farm manager who’d see to things.
He needed to do some work.
But there were voices, muted in the distance, and he found himself pausing so that he could listen without the distraction of a clicking keyboard. There was a soft murmur and a man’s voice responding. Andre. His farm manager.
‘Over there, miss. Straight through the front door and first turn to the left.’
He froze.
Tammy.
She had to do this. She had to say what she needed to say and get out of here. She had to keep her face in order-not cry-not hold onto Henry a moment longer than she needed to.
How? She was breaking her heart. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. That she’d come to this dreadful decision…
She didn’t know, but somehow she had to do it.
She didn’t belong here. Henry belonged here and so did Marc.
Let the two of them get on with it.
‘Tammy.’
Marc had risen and was out of the study and into the hall before she’d entered the room. At the sight of her he stopped dead.
‘Marc.’ Her tone was cool and careful. She was wearing her customary jeans, T-shirt and battered sneakers and he thought, How the hell had he ever thought someone like Ingrid could be beautiful? Could clothes and grooming make someone beautiful? The thought was a farce.
She was just…lovely.
But Tammy was carrying Henry and she wasn’t thinking of her appearance. Her eyes were frozen.
There was pain behind her gaze, he thought. Why?
Tammy’s voice, when she spoke again, was rigidly formal.
‘It’s time,’ she said blankly, and before he knew what she was about she’d walked forward and placed Henry into his arms. The little boy was delighted to see him. He chuckled and tried to grab a fistful of Marc’s dark hair. Marc let him pull. His eyes were on only Tammy.
‘What are you doing?’ She’d set a bag containing baby things down on the floor. Now she was eyeing him from six feet away and the pain behind her eyes was unmistakeable. Was that a glimmer of tears?
‘I told you; this is not my job,’ she said, in a voice that wasn’t quite steady. ‘My role is to see that Henry is cared for and loved. With you I know that he will be.’
‘But…’
‘I didn’t come here to be Henry’s full-time carer. He loves you as well as me.’
‘But I don’t…’
‘Love him? You do, you know.’ Her face was totally expressionless now, as if she was holding herself rigidly under control. ‘You’re capable of all the love in the world, but you won’t let yourself see it. You’re afraid. Well, that’s okay with me-I can wear it-but Henry can’t. Henry needs you, and you need him. You need each other whether you intend to be Prince Regent or Crown Prince. Either way. Take your pick.’
He felt as if he’d been punched. Hard. ‘How do you know…?’
‘I’m not blind,’ she said shortly. ‘You’re running scared, Marc. Well, I have been too, but something’s happened. What’s between you and me…it’s made me see that the world’s what we make it. I’m afraid I’ve fallen in love with you, Marc.’ Then, as he made an involuntary protest, she shook her head. ‘No. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not fair to lay my weakness on you. I’m not expecting you to do anything with it. Why would I? I’ve lived a long time without any sort of loving and I know I can keep on that way. So can you, I guess. But Henry’s the one who’s important. He’s a very special little boy. He needs a daddy. He needs you, Marc, and I won’t let you walk away from that need.’
‘So you’re leaving him here?’ Marc said blankly. He wasn’t too sure what was happening here. What she was saying was leaving him stunned, and it didn’t explain the look of blank misery on her face. Or did it? ‘You’re leaving him here until tomorrow night?’
‘I’m leaving him here until he needs me,’ she said bluntly, and turned on her heel and ran down the steps before he could say a word.
Before he could see the tears streaming down her face. Tears of goodbye.
What had she said?
He stood staring out at her retreating back and thought he must have been hearing things. How the hell could she decide she loved him? She’d known him for so short a time.
Didn’t she know he could destroy her? His family-the royal connection-it contaminated all it touched.
Did he love Tammy?
No! He didn’t love anyone. He didn’t
But Henry was in his arms, gurgling up at him, making him rethink everything he’d believed in for so long.
Making him rethink love?
It was impossible, he decided fiercely. Put it away. Think about the arrangements Tammy was trying to force on him. Twenty-four hours of turnabout childcare… How could this work?
It was farcical, Marc decided, but he gave the little boy his supper and tried desperately not to think about the stricken look on Tammy’s face or the reason behind it. How could they juggle the baby back and forth between two households? A day here-a day there?
Maybe Tammy was right. Maybe he
No! It was impossible. It made a mockery of all he’d spent his life achieving.
Independence. Sanity.
And the love thing…
No. He didn’t want to go there. He’d kissed her once too often. He’d been a fool to do it and somehow he’d have to undo the damage.
‘Your aunt hasn’t got the sense to see how impossible this is,’ Marc told Henry, and Henry gurgled and grinned and demanded another toast finger. ‘She’ll have to take you full time. Maybe I can take you at weekends. Sometimes.’
